I need help..I'm on the edge I tried to make it, i was 45 days sober and caved in. I drank 3 liters of wine last night and 1.5 liters today. I'm giving the amounts to face it, make myself accountable for my drinking. I was done, i never wanted to drink again. Then on Sunday morning my mind said"go get it, go get it now", and the rest is history. I know you guys have heard my story, I know it's getting old, I know you don't want to hear another relapse song and dance. I just don't know where else to turn, I don't have anyone left. I am sorry. |
Hi wildflower there;s tons of support here 24/7. I just sat here the first few days of my quit and talked to people, had people talk to me, I did everything I could not to go and buy more booze.. Before I knew it the first day was down :) D |
Hello wildflower. We are here. You aren’t alone in this. Are you still drinking now? If you are, it’d be better to stop. It’s never too late to make a change😀 |
Dee, I don't know what to do. Why can't I stay sober? I love the way I feel sober, why can't that be enough? I am so ashamed to be posting this...I'm not good enough to even be here...UGH WFLOWER |
Hi Wildflower, I posted on your thread earlier today, I know you have lots going on, but drinking will not make any of it better. Make tomorrow your new day one. Start building those days up again, but find something to add to your recovery plan to help you when things get rough. You need to want to get sober for you. I am a less than a week away from two years sober, and during that time I have faced some health scares, and family illnesses, all of these would have been made a million times worse if I were drinking. Sticking close to SR in the beginning was very helpful, so was going for walks, journaling, reading some great recovery books, and really focusing on the things I had to be grateful for. I hope to see you back here tomorrow on your new day one. |
Originally Posted by wildflower70
(Post 6722181)
Dee, I don't know what to do. Why can't I stay sober? I love the way I feel sober, why can't that be enough? I am so ashamed to be posting this...I'm not good enough to even be here...UGH WFLOWER |
Wildflower, If it was easy then this forum wouldn't exist would it? You had 45 days which is amazing. I have never achieved that long in sobriety since I was under 30 years of age (I'm now 48 years old). Start again. Join the December class (we're a good bunch - you'll see) and we will crack this together. Strength from the UK to you. JT |
My sobriety truly began when I wanted to stay sober more than I wanted to drink. :) Not easy, but simple. :) |
Originally Posted by Delilah1
(Post 6722183)
Hi Wildflower, I posted on your thread earlier today, I know you have lots going on, but drinking will not make any of it better. Make tomorrow your new day one. Start building those days up again, but find something to add to your recovery plan to help you when things get rough. You need to want to get sober for you. I am a less than a week away from two years sober, and during that time I have faced some health scares, and family illnesses, all of these would have been made a million times worse if I were drinking. Sticking close to SR in the beginning was very helpful, so was going for walks, journaling, reading some great recovery books, and really focusing on the things I had to be grateful for. I hope to see you back here tomorrow on your new day one. |
No this site is for sober folks, people trying to get sober, and people that are constantly drunk and are reaching out in desperation. I'm not sick of you. I've seen a few of your posts. Not many. But a few. You seem intelligent and caring and you share many of my goals. Why wouldn't I want to converse with you??? |
No you absolutely have not worn out your welcome at all. And dont be discouraged. It takes lots of people multiple tries. You can do this, any thought you cannot is your AV. Not only possibke but 100 percent gaurentee you can IF you make the decision and stick with it, no matter what. It WILL get easier. |
Originally Posted by JustTony
(Post 6722195)
No this site is for sober folks, people trying to get sober, and people that are constantly drunk and are reaching out in desperation. I'm not sick of you. I've seen a few of your posts. Not many. But a few. You seem intelligent and caring and you share many of my goals. Why wouldn't I want to converse with you??? |
Originally Posted by wildflower70
(Post 6722181)
Dee, I don't know what to do. Why can't I stay sober? I love the way I feel sober, why can't that be enough? I am so ashamed to be posting this...I'm not good enough to even be here...UGH WFLOWER I had to take drinking off the table as a viable option. Change can never happen when I drink -and I really wanted change. You;re no different to me or anyone else here :) You need to make that commitment to not drinking any more - no matter what :) Thats a big ask, and some of us falter a time or two but that doesn't make us failures. It just means we may need to change our approach to what we've tried in the past. D |
You're welcome Wildflower. I meant what I said as well. Don't think of those 45 days as lost please? I know there is a lot of 'black and white' thinking when it comes to sobriety - and a lot of it is very useful. But sometimes - especially after slip - people look at those sober days as nothing. Well ask your liver if they were nothing and if it could speak it would tell you different. I'm so scared I might slip at any time. I really intend not to, but I know that about 20 years hard drinking is hard to re-wire. If I ever slip I will need love and compassion and would want to be treated by others how I would treat them. I hope that I never have to find out... but alcohol is so pervasive and insidious I never count out the chance it could happen. I'm 100% hanging in there with you. Ditch the booze again and start anew. The alternative isn't worth it - I know that you know that. Tony |
WIldflower, very few people learn to drive, without stalling the engine a time or two, but we get there in the end. Restart the engine and move forward. You're WAY ahead, of those who aren't even trying. Happy Christmas :) |
I don't feel that I should post another "Day 1". I have heard how people are so sick of hearing it...over and over again. I don't blame them. I feel that maybe I wore out my welcome here, like once you screwed up so many times, don't bother coming back. go find another place to cry your blues...this site is for sober folks!! The support here is endless because we;re such a big commuity - there will always be someone here to listen, or to help you or anyone else that needs assistance :) I've mentioned 4 or 5 times today that this site is not just for the sober members - who are you going to believe wildflower - me or your AV? :) D |
Thank you again tony, I feel that I can do this, I can fight the good fight. I can't tell you how much your words of encouragement have helped me! I am hanging on by a thread, and yet you are here, supporting me. I am so grateful. Bless you, beautiful soul.XX WF |
Originally Posted by Zanna
(Post 6722219)
WIldflower, very few people learn to drive, without stalling the engine a time or two, but we get there in the end. Restart the engine and move forward. You're WAY ahead, of those who aren't even trying. Happy Christmas :) I wish you could treble x LIKE! |
Originally Posted by Dee74
(Post 6722222)
I dunno where you read that or who might told you that - but its simply not true of the overwhelming majority of us who regularly post here in this Newcomers forum :) The support here is endless because we;re such a big commuity - there will always be someone here to listen, or to help you or anyone else that needs assistance :) I've mentioned 4 or 5 times today that this site is not just for the sober members - who are you going to believe wildflower - me or your AV? :) D |
Hi wildflower, I am so sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. Family dynamics are difficult for many of us and the holidays just seem to amplify and intensify it all. I am in my late 40s and I only realized this year that my parents are who they are and that no amount of wanting and hoping that they were different was going to change that. For the sake of our own self preservation and recovery, I agree with the other folks here that sometimes we need to distance ourselves from family and other negative influences in order to create space to focus on our own healing. For me, that meant separating myself physically and emotionally from my family during the holidays this year. It was painful, but I am so glad I did it. I am so glad that you are still here with us. That is the most important thing. I am also very early in sobriety, so let's do this together. I am sending you hugs. |
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