Facing consequences is the best way for me to evaluate my behavior and determine whether deep in my soul I am good with my behavior or not. Dodging a bullet, or easy way out, or codependant (think wily lawyer) solutions can actually be detrimental in the long run because they hamper my getting to the gut level place I need to go in order honestly evaluate my behavior. Leaving me doomed to probably repeat the behavior.

Consequences are also far reaching, extending way beyond me and my little private world. I might feel the results in judicial, financial, time and energy, etc. but so do others. Loved ones, even people I don't know. The ripples from of my actions show up in a myriad of ways.

rationalization is giving a socially acceptable reason for socially unacceptable behavior, and socially unacceptable behavior is a form of insanity.

just becuase ya didnt crash and had control of the vehicle doesnt make what ya did ok.
thats coming from someone with 2 DUI's. yup, i did it, but i dont condone nor approve of it.

hey whopper....hope everything is ok with you. I will take the flip side and say that even tho drinking and driving is bad .....**** happens. no need to crucify yourself or go broke over it. I've had 2 and never paid more than a grand for a lawyer or more than 500 in fines. worse thing was on my 2nd was going to drunken fool school on saturdays for a couple months to get my license back. as others said get a lawyer and a local one. same city or town. lawyers..judges..prosecuters are all birds of the same flock looking to feather there own nest. it's the way it works on a plea. good luck and I hope you cheer up. don't understand all the doom and gloom and negativity. we all make mistakes.

I didn't say what I did was okay. But I had control. And if you think the cops are so honest think again. They tried to charge me for an accident in the past when there was no possible way I could of caused a chain re-action. I was coming from work, no alcohol involved at all. But the cops are not fair, they are biased. I was eventually not charged because there were 2 witnesses who said I was not wrong, but the cop insisted it was my fault? Yea one can only guess why they would side with the other drivers and not me. A 5 year old could have seen I was in the right.

In case it helps you...here are your threads going back three years.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...archid=7970927

Most have a common subtext...”well, yes I drink, but (firing/argument/breakup/binge/arrest) is because of all these other reasons.”

You’re not a stupid guy. At some point, the common denominator is that you drink alcoholically and that is the causal factor here.

Yes?

link does not work for me?

Sorry...try this?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...archid=7971317

Linkee no workee.

If you click on your name (or anyones for that matter) in a thread post it comes up with a drop down menu, on which there is an option to 'find all threads started by whoever'.

I'd say that some of the biggest things that I've learned in recovery is...
- how to recognise and accept my own part in situations (without slipping into auto-excuse mode eg. Well yes I did punch the bargirl on the nose BUT blah blah blah). Rationalising everything to excuse my shoddy behaviour never really did me much good - just set me up to carry on with it and have more consequences to rationalise. It goes on and on and on and on if we let it.

- How to apologise (without said auto-excuse coming on). Think about it. If someone apologises to you and then sticks a cruddy 'but' on the end, do you think they really meant it? NO. Because they probably didn't. They're still blaming x y and z (and probably you) for their own behaviour.


I suppose what it boils down to is, do you think you were right to be in control of the vehicle drunk? Is that you being the person you respect and want to be? If yes, then I would presume you came here for a sympathetic audience. If no, then hopefully you're here because you want to get sober and draw a line under all the shenanigans. Don't get me wrong. I was on a massive pity-party when I first came here, and was yet to learn just how culpable I (along with my ex-partner in crime, alcohol) was in my own demise. I've gained back the biggest thing I lost - and that is my integrity. The ability to say and do what I believe to be the right thing, and recognise it and put things right if I realise that I have messed up.

Whopper - what is it you want from this thread?

BB

I had one in 2002. I didn't get a lawyer and I got the minimums. I accepted responsibility and did everything I was told by the court.

What I didn't do was make excuses...

My advice is: accept responsibility and quit drinking. Like it was said before, you aren't the first or the last and it's not the end of the world however: it is going to suck for a while but YOU caused this by drinking and driving even if you were "in control".

I do feel that you are more worried about getting out of this than taking care of the real problem, or how you call it: "some issues with alcohol".

How's your plan looking?

hey whopper...hope everything is ok with you. I thought I would bring this thread back to the top because it reminded me of my circumstances a while back. its just human nature to look at the problem at hand versus the underlying problem and I hope you are dealing with both the best you can. let us know ok ?

Nothing wrong with minimizing the legal damage. A drunk driving conviction can follow you around for years. Depending on your location, a lawyer is the best idea if you can afford it, or go the PD route.

HOWEVER, this should be a wake-up call, even if the charge is completely dismissed. Do you want it to happen again, or far worse, do you want to be responsible for your own or someone else's death/severe injury because you drove drunk?

I don't plan to drive with any alcohol in my system ever again. If convicted and I do it again, I can be sent to prison. I don't want to ever go to prison. I don't want to kill someone while behind the wheel. Yes this is a big wake up call for me. I feel so much guilt right now and the anxiety is really getting to me. Currently looking at hiring a lawyer.

The shame and guilt is overwhelming. I stopped drinking today and I plan on staying sober. I also hired a lawyer as well, hoping they will be able to plea bargain a deal which would be best for me.

Make this day one stick Whopper., It will help you in your case as well I'm sure.

D

Best advice ever!!

Good luck whopper.

So Whopper, you were not given a field sobriety test? Walk the line, count backwards etc etc?

No I was not given a field test. I was tested at the station.

Hello:

If you were tested at the station that means they got blood? Or did you blow there? Are the results going to be over the limit? That will tell what happens.

Have you started classes or anything like that? You will probably be required to do some so starting will give a good impression to the judge. Dress appropriately and address the Court with a yes ma'am or yes sir.

I read that you are quitting and that is step one. Now, your plan. How's that going? Having a plan really helped me.

Keep participating here. We support you.

How are you doing Whopper?

These times around holidays along with anxiety can create some serious triggers. Hope you have a plan with contingencies.