What's your secret???
 

For people with solid sobriety, what's your secret? What do you do to help you stay sober? Please share. I could use more tools.

Thanks!

I have 7 years sober. I put it down to a solid daily routine of self care in the form of set mealtimes, healthy food, lots of fluids, sensible exercise, set bedtime, working my programs, good balance of being busy but making sure relaxation time too. Also knowing there is NEVER a valid reason for me to drink.

I changed my life style completely. Removed certain people, stopped going to certain places.

That's off the top of my head, is probably a lot more.

I took myself back to being a kid - ice cream, hot chocolate and sweets at the weekend, resumed playing guitar and sketching/painting. Avoided 'drinking buddies' and took it a day at a time. 9 months went past and I still have the ice cream at the weekend :)
I still feel it's important to mark weekends, with something. It's working so far x

I eat healthy, exercise and set goals to become a better person. Drinking took alot away from me so day by day I focus on getting it back.

I love the feeling of waking up feeling good. :) I also take great pride in taking good care of my dogs and cats. They are my babies and are a source of great joy to me. When I was drinking, I didn't take very good care of them, but now I see the love and health in their eyes. :)

I don't think there is a "secret" to successful recovery. Or if there is a secret, it is your addiction's secret way of getting you to drink. What trips you up? What are your reasons or excuses to drink? Start there.

I had to change my thinking...thinking that one day I could drink. Thinking life was boring sober, thinking that this time I could control it. Or thinking I could say F%$# it, and drink.

I had to change how I coped with life sober. How I dealt with conflict, anger, loneliness, boredom, happiness, frustration, and stress. I had to take drinking off the table completely and not rely on alcohol as my go-to solution.

I had to change what I did to entertain myself, change the activities I engaged in that were alcohol-centric, I had to change where I hung out, and who I hung out with.

I had to have faith that I could get and stay sober and that if embraced recovery, I would be rewarded.

4 years for me! At first it sounded so easy! Just stop drinking wine!!!!
After a couple of months without vino I reolized recovery would require many life changes. First of all, I was making myself suffer too much.
Things that I had to stop included:
1. Not trying to replace wine with pretend wine, no more non alcoholic wine ,, there teasers! Drink Pepsi, coffee,or fruit drinks. Pretending makes you a wanta be!!
2. No more gatherings of the old happy hour crowd at my house! Why should I suffer not only watching them drink, but sip , which I could never do, I'm a gulper!!!!
3. Make a promise to god that I would never drink again, hard to worm out of when he's watching me 24/7.
4. Grasp the concept that I have an inner predator that would like to take over, all I had to do was tell him, get out! I don't drink! No meetings, no therapy, no money! Find the book!
Sounds easy, but it's still hard work and determination!
The rewards are plentiful, peace of mind, regularly sleeping, control of my actions, self respect.... and much much more!!

no secret, just a simple formula;

{The CHOICE to embrace sobriety** * {the ACTIONS to support that choice** + {the commitment+the dedication to stick to the choice every day** = The TREMENDOUS VALUE of life in sobriety - (Which in turn becomes a multiplier of itself).

:grouphug:

the big "secret", I suppose, is that after a while - life itself is the secret.

I have come to value life so greatly that alcohol and drugs are only things that I see as taking away from - not adding to - the experience.

Make the choice.

Take the actions.

Do the work.

And the 'secret' will come to you as well.

:grouphug:

no secret here either.
just being willing to go to any lengths for victiry over alcohol.
then getting into action finding the solution.
as for staying sober, no secret there, but theres a few things:
- remember where i came from.
- after that it falls down to trust God, keep my house clean, help others.

meetings
sponsor
steps
service to others
higher power

Prayer and meditation built into a habit.

KK- apart from the constant physical reminder of my burns- which reminds me every second of what happens when I drink..to me the best tool I have is tenacity. To keep moving, keep trying, keep pushing myself. I am very aware of how strongly complacency can lead to relapse.

I don't have a secret.

I'm 7+ years sober and and two big reasons are AA and this website.

I live to be useful to others and to help the next suffering alcoholic.

Keep it simple!

Hi KiKi. All I have to do is remember the horrible state my life was in at the end of my drinking days. I crashed & burned badly. Two dui's, a ruined reputation at work, confused & angry family/friends, health issues, financial disaster, etc. Every area of my life was affected by my 30 yr. drinking career. It took me a long time to dig my way out of that nightmare - so I'm not even a little bit tempted.

First, never forgetting that everything I value in my life today is built on the foundation of my sobriety - therefore, when push comes to shove, I must take care of my sobriety above all else.

As to the "all else," balance. There are only so many hours in a day, and my tank is not bottomless - I try to only take on what I can truly handle, and keep those things in balance: my marriage, my job, my physical and emotional well being, my sponsees, family, and friends.

It's a lot of hard work in the beginning Kiki or it was for me.

I had so many things, feelings and situations I drank over...I was scared to deal with a lot of things head on.

But my drinking destroyed me and I realised eventually that nothing else could hurt me more than what I was doing to myself already.

So..I committed to never drinking again, no matter what,. Sometimes the fear was so much in those early days I spent a lot of time crying or curled up in a ball, but I got better and stronger.

After a while I realised I'd completely forgotten how tough and capable I was.

No matter what had happened to me as a kid, a teen or adult or the things that were happening to me now, I could face it all sober.

Once I remembered that there was no stopping me - I actively began to look for solutions to my problems, not band aids.

The support helped here too of course.

Take the option of drinking away for good Kiki - allow yourself to discover how capable you really are. You won;t look back :)

D

I pretend that alcohol is poison and will ruin my entire life if I drink. Imagine that.

What's helped me so far stay sober has been remembering the pain of my last bottom, going to AA meetings, sponsor, working the steps, getting massages and exercising.

Kiki at 51 days I,m not as solid time wise as many here so I am popping in here to read and learn .

Best Wishes

I don't have a secret for you Iam afraid.

Just hard work, commitment and actions and you will be fine. I know it's not glamorous or pretty but it's the solution.

I like you wanted the secret formula the magic bullet that I could find and then all my problems and addictions would disappear over night.

Unfortunately it's taken me nearly 1 year of continuous sobriety to finally sort a lot of my issues out.

Good luck in your journey, it's worth the effort.

Onwards
Herc

Maybe it's karma. What goes around comes around. Reap what you sow?

It is not really a secret. In AA we try and help other alcoholics without thought of reward. Yet the rewards are huge. It is backed up by research that says those who help others have a much greater chance of staying sober themselves.

I remember an event very early in sobriety where my sponsor got me to give someone a lift to a meeting, and take them home after. I remember how good I felt afterwards that I had done something really worth while. It felt great and I wanted more of that. Strange as it may seem, when I am experiencing those kinds of feelings, which is most of the time these days, drinking just does not come into the picture.

However, if I get focused on self, trying to get things my way and so forth, love myself, fix myself, assert myself, that feeling of self worth seems elusive.

I think the answer really is to fit ourselves to be of maximum use to God and our fellows. That is a reliable path to permanent recovery.

Hi there

I don't have so many days/years as some other SR members, so I don't know any secrets, yet. However, I can share what helps keeping me sober (for almost 30 days now).

Since I stopped drinking I discovered I had much more free time on my hands. I began doing things that I loved doing prior to my drinking problem. I wiped the dust off my beloved DSLR Camera, which I haven't used for more than 10 years, and started going out after work and take pictures. When I was sober I loved to do Yoga. I was even a teacher at one point. Began doing that again.
While I keep my mind and body busy with things I love, I noticed that day after another I began thinking less about drinking. At this point there are days that I don't even think about booze at all. Of course there are those days that I struggle with, but every time it happens I remember the feat I've accomplished so far and don't want it to go to waste.

I hope you will find what makes your journey easier!
Best of luck to you!

Continuous maintenance on my recovery
program each day I remain sober.

Ditto.
I decided to quit.
I started my plan of action, AA.
I learned.
I did the steps with my sponsor and made my ONLY choice to live and grow in recovery.
I added the things people mention above- health things, self care etc.

I have a beautiful life that is completely different than any I had or any I could have imagined, and I practice what it takes to keep it every day.

I really believe there is no secret. For myself, I am type A personality. Perfectionist, list maker, organized etc. When I set my mind to do something I just do it. It's on my permanent list to stay sober and that's what I'm gonna do. I'm also far too stubborn to give into my own negative habits. I gave up caffiene, smoking and booze all on the same day. Lemme tell you what a treat I was to be around. But honestly, no secret. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes and have set backs.

I talk to other women in AA. I let people know what is going on with me and inside my head....particularly the awful things my head tells me about myself and everyone else. It has saved my @rse to have strong sober women to talk to - who understand the insanity of addiction.

Wow!
 

Thanks so much for all your words of wisdom! I just read all of them several times. Lots of good tools! :scoregood

Now, put them to use ;)