Blogs


Notices

What's your secret???

Old 09-19-2017, 11:41 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
KiKi0615's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
What's your secret???

For people with solid sobriety, what's your secret? What do you do to help you stay sober? Please share. I could use more tools.

Thanks!
KiKi0615 is offline  
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to KiKi0615 For This Useful Post:
addictedToBeer8 (09-20-2017), Anna (09-19-2017), Carpathia (09-19-2017), Culture (09-20-2017), Hevyn (09-19-2017), HTown (09-19-2017), january161992 (09-19-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), Snufkin (09-19-2017), Tatsy (09-19-2017), Wholesome (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 11:47 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
LeeJane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 666
I have 7 years sober. I put it down to a solid daily routine of self care in the form of set mealtimes, healthy food, lots of fluids, sensible exercise, set bedtime, working my programs, good balance of being busy but making sure relaxation time too. Also knowing there is NEVER a valid reason for me to drink.

I changed my life style completely. Removed certain people, stopped going to certain places.

That's off the top of my head, is probably a lot more.
LeeJane is offline  
The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to LeeJane For This Useful Post:
Carpathia (09-19-2017), ChloeRose63 (09-19-2017), Cleomie (09-19-2017), Culture (09-20-2017), Erratic (09-21-2017), Healthygoals (09-19-2017), Hevyn (09-19-2017), HTown (09-19-2017), icandothis20 (09-19-2017), january161992 (09-19-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-19-2017), least (09-19-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), mnjen (09-20-2017), Outonthetiles (09-20-2017), PippoRossi (09-19-2017), Shitzupuppy (09-19-2017), Tatsy (09-19-2017), Wholesome (09-19-2017), Zanna (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 12:01 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Zanna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,558
I took myself back to being a kid - ice cream, hot chocolate and sweets at the weekend, resumed playing guitar and sketching/painting. Avoided 'drinking buddies' and took it a day at a time. 9 months went past and I still have the ice cream at the weekend
I still feel it's important to mark weekends, with something. It's working so far x
Zanna is offline  
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to Zanna For This Useful Post:
Bird615 (09-19-2017), Carpathia (09-19-2017), Cleomie (09-19-2017), Culture (09-20-2017), Erratic (09-21-2017), Frenzy (09-19-2017), HTown (09-19-2017), january161992 (09-19-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-19-2017), LeeJane (09-19-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), mnjen (09-20-2017), Outonthetiles (09-20-2017), PippoRossi (09-19-2017), ssd858 (09-21-2017), Tatsy (09-19-2017), tealily (09-19-2017), Wholesome (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 12:06 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
My Own Muse
 
ChloeRose63's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
Posts: 16,317
I eat healthy, exercise and set goals to become a better person. Drinking took alot away from me so day by day I focus on getting it back.
ChloeRose63 is offline  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to ChloeRose63 For This Useful Post:
Carpathia (09-19-2017), Culture (09-20-2017), Erratic (09-21-2017), HTown (09-19-2017), january161992 (09-19-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-19-2017), LeeJane (09-19-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), Tatsy (09-19-2017), Wholesome (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 12:09 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 84,819
Blog Entries: 32
I love the feeling of waking up feeling good. I also take great pride in taking good care of my dogs and cats. They are my babies and are a source of great joy to me. When I was drinking, I didn't take very good care of them, but now I see the love and health in their eyes.
least is online now  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Carpathia (09-19-2017), Culture (09-20-2017), Erratic (09-21-2017), Hevyn (09-19-2017), HTown (09-19-2017), january161992 (09-19-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-19-2017), LeeJane (09-19-2017), Tatsy (09-19-2017), Wholesome (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 12:18 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Canine Welfare Advocate
 
doggonecarl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,565
Blog Entries: 22
I don't think there is a "secret" to successful recovery. Or if there is a secret, it is your addiction's secret way of getting you to drink. What trips you up? What are your reasons or excuses to drink? Start there.

I had to change my thinking...thinking that one day I could drink. Thinking life was boring sober, thinking that this time I could control it. Or thinking I could say F%$# it, and drink.

I had to change how I coped with life sober. How I dealt with conflict, anger, loneliness, boredom, happiness, frustration, and stress. I had to take drinking off the table completely and not rely on alcohol as my go-to solution.

I had to change what I did to entertain myself, change the activities I engaged in that were alcohol-centric, I had to change where I hung out, and who I hung out with.

I had to have faith that I could get and stay sober and that if embraced recovery, I would be rewarded.
doggonecarl is online now  
The Following 20 Users Say Thank You to doggonecarl For This Useful Post:
August252015 (09-20-2017), Bird615 (09-19-2017), Carpathia (09-19-2017), Culture (09-20-2017), Frank14 (09-20-2017), Frenzy (09-19-2017), Hevyn (09-19-2017), HTown (09-19-2017), january161992 (09-19-2017), JimiC (09-19-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-19-2017), LeeJane (09-19-2017), Mireille (09-19-2017), mnjen (09-20-2017), PippoRossi (09-19-2017), Shitzupuppy (09-19-2017), Tatsy (09-19-2017), tomsteve (09-19-2017), Wholesome (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 12:30 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 728
Blog Entries: 1
Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
For people with solid sobriety, what's your secret? What do you do to help you stay sober? Please share. I could use more tools.

Thanks!
4 years for me! At first it sounded so easy! Just stop drinking wine!!!!
After a couple of months without vino I reolized recovery would require many life changes. First of all, I was making myself suffer too much.
Things that I had to stop included:
1. Not trying to replace wine with pretend wine, no more non alcoholic wine ,, there teasers! Drink Pepsi, coffee,or fruit drinks. Pretending makes you a wanta be!!
2. No more gatherings of the old happy hour crowd at my house! Why should I suffer not only watching them drink, but sip , which I could never do, I'm a gulper!!!!
3. Make a promise to god that I would never drink again, hard to worm out of when he's watching me 24/7.
4. Grasp the concept that I have an inner predator that would like to take over, all I had to do was tell him, get out! I don't drink! No meetings, no therapy, no money! Find the book!
Sounds easy, but it's still hard work and determination!
The rewards are plentiful, peace of mind, regularly sleeping, control of my actions, self respect.... and much much more!!
Oceanlady is offline  
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Oceanlady For This Useful Post:
Carpathia (09-19-2017), Culture (09-20-2017), Hevyn (09-19-2017), HTown (09-19-2017), january161992 (09-19-2017), JimiC (09-19-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-19-2017), LeeJane (09-19-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), mnjen (09-20-2017), PippoRossi (09-19-2017), ssd858 (09-21-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 12:55 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 7,444
Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
For people with solid sobriety, what's your secret? What do you do to help you stay sober? Please share. I could use more tools.

Thanks!
no secret, just a simple formula;

{The CHOICE to embrace sobriety** * {the ACTIONS to support that choice** + {the commitment+the dedication to stick to the choice every day** = The TREMENDOUS VALUE of life in sobriety - (Which in turn becomes a multiplier of itself).

FreeOwl is offline  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to FreeOwl For This Useful Post:
August252015 (09-20-2017), Carpathia (09-19-2017), Hevyn (09-19-2017), HTown (09-19-2017), january161992 (09-19-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-19-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), mnjen (09-20-2017), PippoRossi (09-19-2017), tomsteve (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 12:57 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 7,444
the big "secret", I suppose, is that after a while - life itself is the secret.

I have come to value life so greatly that alcohol and drugs are only things that I see as taking away from - not adding to - the experience.

Make the choice.

Take the actions.

Do the work.

And the 'secret' will come to you as well.

FreeOwl is offline  
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to FreeOwl For This Useful Post:
addictedToBeer8 (09-20-2017), badlands (09-20-2017), Carpathia (09-19-2017), Culture (09-20-2017), Fitcher (09-21-2017), Hevyn (09-19-2017), january161992 (09-19-2017), KiKi0615 (09-19-2017), LeeJane (09-19-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), MindfulMan (09-19-2017), mnjen (09-20-2017), Outonthetiles (09-20-2017), PippoRossi (09-19-2017), Zanna (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 01:27 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
no secret here either.
just being willing to go to any lengths for victiry over alcohol.
then getting into action finding the solution.
as for staying sober, no secret there, but theres a few things:
- remember where i came from.
- after that it falls down to trust God, keep my house clean, help others.
tomsteve is offline  
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to tomsteve For This Useful Post:
August252015 (09-21-2017), Carpathia (09-19-2017), Gottalife (09-20-2017), Hevyn (09-19-2017), HTown (09-19-2017), january161992 (09-19-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-20-2017), LeeJane (09-19-2017), mnjen (09-20-2017), Pagekeeper (09-21-2017), PippoRossi (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 01:32 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 2,825
meetings
sponsor
steps
service to others
higher power
january161992 is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to january161992 For This Useful Post:
aasharon90 (09-20-2017), August252015 (09-20-2017), Carpathia (09-19-2017), Hevyn (09-19-2017), HTown (09-19-2017), KiKi0615 (09-20-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), Pagekeeper (09-21-2017), PippoRossi (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 01:59 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Carpathia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 1,736
Prayer and meditation built into a habit.
Carpathia is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Carpathia For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (09-19-2017), HTown (09-19-2017), KiKi0615 (09-20-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), Pagekeeper (09-21-2017), PippoRossi (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 03:38 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
PhoenixJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 22,736
Blog Entries: 2
KK- apart from the constant physical reminder of my burns- which reminds me every second of what happens when I drink..to me the best tool I have is tenacity. To keep moving, keep trying, keep pushing myself. I am very aware of how strongly complacency can lead to relapse.
PhoenixJ is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to PhoenixJ For This Useful Post:
CLAS (09-19-2017), Culture (09-20-2017), Hevyn (09-19-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-20-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), PeacefulRain (09-19-2017), Tatsy (09-20-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 04:43 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Zebra1275's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 10,387
I don't have a secret.

I'm 7+ years sober and and two big reasons are AA and this website.
Zebra1275 is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Zebra1275 For This Useful Post:
Culture (09-20-2017), Hevyn (09-19-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-20-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), Outonthetiles (09-20-2017), Pagekeeper (09-21-2017), tomsteve (09-20-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 05:24 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,524
I live to be useful to others and to help the next suffering alcoholic.

Keep it simple!
sugarbear1 is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to sugarbear1 For This Useful Post:
aasharon90 (09-20-2017), Culture (09-20-2017), Gottalife (09-20-2017), Hevyn (09-19-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-20-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), Pagekeeper (09-21-2017), tomsteve (09-20-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 05:35 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 41,121
Hi KiKi. All I have to do is remember the horrible state my life was in at the end of my drinking days. I crashed & burned badly. Two dui's, a ruined reputation at work, confused & angry family/friends, health issues, financial disaster, etc. Every area of my life was affected by my 30 yr. drinking career. It took me a long time to dig my way out of that nightmare - so I'm not even a little bit tempted.
Hevyn is online now  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
aasharon90 (09-20-2017), CLAS (09-19-2017), Culture (09-20-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), Outonthetiles (09-20-2017), Tatsy (09-20-2017), Zanna (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 07:17 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Eddiebuckle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 1,611
First, never forgetting that everything I value in my life today is built on the foundation of my sobriety - therefore, when push comes to shove, I must take care of my sobriety above all else.

As to the "all else," balance. There are only so many hours in a day, and my tank is not bottomless - I try to only take on what I can truly handle, and keep those things in balance: my marriage, my job, my physical and emotional well being, my sponsees, family, and friends.
Eddiebuckle is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Eddiebuckle For This Useful Post:
Culture (09-20-2017), Healthygoals (09-20-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-20-2017), Outonthetiles (09-20-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 09:10 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 187,794
Blog Entries: 1
It's a lot of hard work in the beginning Kiki or it was for me.

I had so many things, feelings and situations I drank over...I was scared to deal with a lot of things head on.

But my drinking destroyed me and I realised eventually that nothing else could hurt me more than what I was doing to myself already.

So..I committed to never drinking again, no matter what,. Sometimes the fear was so much in those early days I spent a lot of time crying or curled up in a ball, but I got better and stronger.

After a while I realised I'd completely forgotten how tough and capable I was.

No matter what had happened to me as a kid, a teen or adult or the things that were happening to me now, I could face it all sober.

Once I remembered that there was no stopping me - I actively began to look for solutions to my problems, not band aids.

The support helped here too of course.

Take the option of drinking away for good Kiki - allow yourself to discover how capable you really are. You won;t look back

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Culture (09-20-2017), Healthygoals (09-20-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-20-2017), Pagekeeper (09-21-2017), Tatsy (09-20-2017), Zanna (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 09:33 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
sober style
 
SnazzyDresser's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,077
I pretend that alcohol is poison and will ruin my entire life if I drink. Imagine that.
SnazzyDresser is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to SnazzyDresser For This Useful Post:
aasharon90 (09-20-2017), Culture (09-20-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-20-2017), Outonthetiles (09-20-2017), Tatsy (09-20-2017), Zanna (09-19-2017)
Old 09-19-2017, 10:21 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 967
What's helped me so far stay sober has been remembering the pain of my last bottom, going to AA meetings, sponsor, working the steps, getting massages and exercising.
FreedomCA is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to FreedomCA For This Useful Post:
aasharon90 (09-20-2017), Gottalife (09-20-2017), JoeCree (09-21-2017), KiKi0615 (09-20-2017), Midwest1981 (09-21-2017), tomsteve (09-20-2017)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:17 PM.