Thank-you all for the comforting words, I really do appreciate it.
I'm having a really hard time, can't seem to work through it, can't stop just randomly crumpling into a sobbing mess.

She had a massive seizure that morning, and we rushed her to the vet but they weren't able to stop it. Her seizures were getting more frequent and more severe, and each one would leave her a little weaker. This one was the worst yet and still didn't stop, 45 minutes later. :( Her others lasted a couple minutes and this one was violent.
I held her and comforted her but I don't think she was aware of much.

I keep reliving those moments, I never fed her that morning, she went into the seizure just minutes after I got up. Did she die hungry, or thirsty? I miss her awful.
Thanks again for the kind words, I know there are a lot of animal lovers on this board, so you all know the pain. :(

Oh Jessie, I just now was reading this. I am so very, very sorry. I know how much pain you are going through.

You clearly loved her very much, and I am absolutely sure she knew that. What a blessing she was to you, and you to her! Your connection and that love won't ever go away. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are a loving, caring owner. Life is a fragile gift, and you aren't to blame.

Many hugs to you! We are here for you!!

I'm so sorry about the loss of your beloved dog. It sounds like you did the most loving thing for her, as hard as it was on you. I like to set up a small shrine, of sorts, with pictures, mementos, collar some flowers and a candle....brings me some peace.

This says just how I feel. :hug:

I am very sorry.

I'm so sorry about your sweet pooch, Jessie!:grouphug:

I'm so sorry. I know the pain all too well. We had to put our fur baby down this past June 24th. It was unexpected so we had no time to mentally prepare. I was just two months sober and I wanted to drink so badly. It was so awful. Just last night I was crying again. All the questions, what did we miss, did we do the right thing? All swirling around in my head for the millionth time. All I know is that I will not drink. I will not use this as an excuse to get drunk. My furbaby loved me and wouldn't want me sick. I know he is still around us, watching over us and we will meet again. The same for you and your pup. It gets a little easier with time, but they definitely take a piece of our heart with them when the go.