In love with admitted psychopath.. why?
 

In love with probably isn't the right phrase, but addicted to... I don't understand why.. he blatantly tells me he has no real feelings for anyone, outside of anger and apathy, puts on an act in order to appear normal, and certainly lacks empathy... he's a textbook psychopath based on everything he says, and yet regardless of what he says, I think there is a good person there because he has the ability to seem so kind and charming... What's really disturbing to me is that since he says he almost exclusively feels anger if he feels anything at all, I tend to want to **** him off as much as I can, just so that he feels something towards me.

Sounds like an excellent way to end up dead.

Or maybe just really really badly injured.

Do you have a therapist? This is a job for professionals.

I agree with Aries. I hope you run as acts as you can out of this fixation on this person.

Will be seeing him four days a week through the first week of December.. God help me.

come on, Brenda...this isn't on any god, it's on you.
you are NOT helpless here.

Sorry, I am a Christian, so I pray to God (with a capital, thank you). I say the serenity prayer every day. We are in the same program in college, so unless one of us drops...

OR you could make the conscious decision to accept what he says about himself as the truth and value your serenity and sanity enough to end the relationship, recognizing that it is fundamentally unhealthy.

I'm not being facetious about seeing a therapist. IIRC, you have a pattern of seeking out high-drama relationships with unavailable men. This guy may not be married, but he's telling you point blank he is not emotionally available. And that's about the least disturbing thing he's said to you.

A therapist can help you get to the root of why you have this pattern in your life, yes?

Yeah.. I will figure out how to make it happen... Friday is my only day without work or school but is usually consumed with homework, studying and helping mom now..

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Most psychopaths have the ability to be charming when it suits their purpose. From previous posts it sounds like you're working on recovery so maybe it would be a good idea to stay away from unhealthy relationships. Luckily the decision is yours to make.

Hi Brenda, I'm not sure about all the definitions but I'm still trying to recover from a past friendship with a narcissist. Not sure if narcissists are the same as psychopaths but I reckon they're in the same ball park. This wasn't a romantic relationship, just a friendship and to begin with the narcissist was charming, funny and apparently drenched in empathy. It was all an act. I realised that I needed to cut the toxicity out of my life and that's when I saw the true narcissistic colours. I've had lies spoken and written about me which has cost me lots of other friends and been bullied on social media. I'm weathering the storm because I know I can't have this person in my life and eventually they'll move on to cause mayhem in someone else's life. From my experience, my advice would be RUN!! Even if you physically need to see this person, start to emotionally detach. Your psychopath has been honest, respect that's who they are and start taking steps to keep yourself safe. There's plenty of non psychopaths in the world. Start hanging out with them :)

My guess is because it feels safer for you. If you expose your feelings to a psychopath and he spurns them, well, that's understandable. It's much less pleasant when the spurning comes from someone 'normal'.

Logically you see the lunacy, but that doesn't override the fear...

Just armchair psychology 101 based on a few sentences and a lot of assumptions. Maybe you should consider seeing a professional who can really help you sort it out.

Best of Luck on Your Journey! :ring

God
grant me the serenity
to accept the people i cant change
courage to change the one i can
and wisdom to know thats me.

Not sure the "why" really matters.
I never dated a psychopath (have you looked up the definition? Seems pretty scary) but I did waste 5 years of my life with a sociopath. The charm can pull you in and if you aren't strong enough it's very hard to make the right decision to get out.

None of us can make the choice for you to step away- only you can do that.

At least you are aware that this is a bad choice- you're ahead of the game in that aspect. Now it's time to make a choice- do you continue to make a toxic decision to spend time and energy on him (and risk your life?) or do you decide today that you are worth more, that you are stronger and that God would want much more for you than this.

It sounds like the man needs a therapist also.
There are plenty of wonderful men out there that are actually happy and not always angry. You can't find them if you're stuck in a bad relationship.
Maybe focus on yourself and be kind to yourself.
Best wishes.....

This^^^ I did it for years. I also thrived on the drama it created and that I was with someone more F'd up than I was. For me the more dangerous they were the safer my feelings were. It took a lot of counseling.

Because women dig jerks and bad boys. 😎

Poolside--not this woman! Well, not anymore (smile)

Brenda, please turn and run! In order for me to recover from being attracted to "charming men", I first had to be single for awhile (I mean really single), get some therapy, be real active in service to others (cuz I had so much free time), and I had to look at my part (AA-speak for the fifth column).

I wish you the best.

Yes, I have looked up the definition and use that term because it fits.. It goes beyond being a bad boy.

I think when I was younger I went after jerks and bad boys (some of whom were sociopaths) and looking back I can see how that behavior on my part kept me very sick. It was impossible to get well while pursuing those relationships.

Might not be the case for Brenda but I have found over the years that the kind of people we seek are representative of our mental well being at the time. I feel lucky to have survived some of them.

I too have a sociopath trying to stay in my life totally hindering my recovery. I cannot stand him. Actually very wary of him. After almost six years my rose coloured glasses are nowhere to be found. You must go no contact Brenda. Im having to use some reverse psychology some backing away slowly and some letting him go with ease all mixed in together. Im on a shaky day 1 of no drink. I remember your posts last time I was here. Youre funny .. you made me laugh xo take care and kick his loser ass to the kerb.