Congrats on 5 days Madruski. It's dangerous ( and easy ) to try and compare our plight with those around us. It's a trap though....your addiction will just use it as an excuse to keep you drinking. If other people can be "functioning alcoholics" why can't you, right?

The problem is that an alcoholic is an alcoholic...and their level of "function" generally declines. And honestly, who's to say that those people you see aren't having all the same problems you are? I hid a lot of those problems from the world, but inside I had all the anxiety, panic and mornings where I wasn't sure I could even get out of bed that no one else saw.

Concentrate on what's best for you and resources/support to fix the problems you know you have.

I was surrounded my alcoholics in varying degrees of 'functionality' too.

From what I've learned the bottom line is none of that should dissuade you or impede you from taking action...right now - not next week or next month - to save your life, MadRuski.

D

"So yes my family has become worried this time, and actually this time they are listening to me that I need some help.. only problem is that they are all functioning alcoholics with no intentions to quit."

mud, YOUR getting help is NOT contigent on THEIR desire to stop drinking.
they can listen that you need help, but its NOT their responsability to get you help. that is something that is your respinsability- you have to be accountable for your sobriety

I suppose it does sound like iam blaming my problems on them, iam not. I've stopped that a while a while ago.

But their advice is " don't binge, just cut back and drink once a week, stop at a few beers" etc etc etc.

Iam sure we have all heard this from our close family who enjoy drinking, so for me to "get rid of triggers", is like stapling jelly to the wall" it's just always infront of me so I have to accept that.

We have a summer camping house about 50km away that we usually visit, and it's always an excuse to drink and relax, I have some renovations I need to do there, but this time iam not going because that place has been major trigger 3 times now.

Anyway, glad to be walking up sober .

I know it's not easy to hear but litrelly ignore it or ask for such requests not to be made

Hang in there and stay focused bud

Hi again Mafruski :)

From previous threads I remember it's not possible for you to move out or cut ties...so you're going to really have to work a tough programme if you really want change....

It''s not impossible - I've seen people get sober and stay that way in similar situations.

Fully shoulder the responsibility for your own recovery...take the reins...it'll be worth the effort.

I recommend a meeting based recovery group (AA or some other group like SMART or LifeRing) alongsde SR and whatever else you can find (counselling, outpatient rehab, whatever).

There's no such thing as too much support :)

D

^^^^What's the plan?

Want- good. Ideas - good. Action? Critical.

Every day, you have to choose not to drink. You have to have tools that are more than just good thoughts and I'll try; you can learn and improve your ability to make good choices with a plan. AA and other programs are plans of ACTION.

Bottom line- you have to want to be sober MORE than you want to drink, regardless of what is around you, who is around you (that's another topic, really), what everything external to you is like.

Good luck. You can do it if you choose to and get the help that is available.

Dee , August, and Soberwolf and everyone else.

Thanks again for the advice. Just a quick note, AA or therapy or outside support is really not an option for me, especially considering where I am atm , these things are not common at all.


The one thing i have been doing though, is looking for new ppl that don't drink alcohol. Iam glad my mind is slowly shifting to these influences and i get a sense of relief if a new friend or a new date say "i don't drink"

UPDATE - a good sense of relief just came over me because iam writing this sober and fresh. Whilst a relative just woke up , complaining how hungover he feels. Last night I didn't drink with them. (Talk about living with the devil)

And we just had a small laugh and discussion on "who feels better" and that he kinda envies my decision. Although he said "at least I don't have to think about anything today."

@ August - the plan is to continue on too day 7 and further and start surrounding myself with more sober minded people, outside of AA. atm this are my only main tools.

I've cancelled hunting trips, summer houses, bar catchups. Etc etc . Its not the people around me, its ME and the activities thats the problem.

I was shocked to learn this was a common side affect of withdrawl. With no insurance I put myself in the ER twice (still paying off those bills) because I was just very suddenly overwhelmed with a massive headache a racing heart beat that seemed to threaten to jump right out of my chest. I then got this affect several times a day for 2 weeks along with 1 ghost white stool. For my head to get completely straight again it took about 2 months. I went straight back to drinking when I felt like I was healed again. Believe me this is your warning to stop it can get SOOO much worse. I wish I had stopped after the panic attack I'm now going on 22 days sober and my sides still hurt. I have to question every ache and pain and will probably end up at the doctors again soon. God do I hate going to the doctors....

when the big book of aa came out, people on the west coast of the US were getting sober with nothing more than thembig book. there were no meetings or other sober alcoholics to work with.
meetings dont get a person sober.
you can read the big book online.

I suggest that you seek medical help for your addiction(s) and that you similarly seek psychiatric help for your mental health issues.

Why struggle, when someone else knows what you need to do for your circumstances?

Thanks for the advice, but iam a big believer in self development and discipline.

And End of the day, I don't think any pill will magically get me/us out of this problem.

(I have seen a psychologist in the past, and it was just a waste of time)

Perhaps iam ignorant, but I don't want to see a psychiatrist/psychologist. It's the same reason why wouldnt go to a mechanic, if I already have the knowledge and tools to fix my own car.

(The knowledge is the fact that I know my personality, and I know what I need deep down, I don't need a stranger telling me that)

Day 7 starts. The night of the normal binge routine. Lucky for me I have some nice plans to keep me sober and distracted tonight.

Grats on day 7 bud