Not sure what to do..
 

Hello,
So I have been trying to quit everything now for such a long time and just can't seem to do it. I currently have just over 3 days in. My problem is I feel like I don't know if I'm more addicted to narcotics or alcohol. One always seems to go with the other, and they seem to go hand in hand. If I have one I want the other no matter what comes first. Lately I feel as though I'm more addicted to narcotics, but its hard to say. I feel like I'm losing my mind, because I can feel other addictions crying for me to come back to them if I'm going to quit drinking, pills to replace the alcohol and cocaine I guess. I just don't know how to live sober, even though this is all that I really want.

I really hope this post makes sense and is in the right place!

Welcome to the Forum Girlnotgone!! :wave:

For most of us we needed to get a plan together, plenty of support, change up our habits and our routines, and really make Sobriety stick for the long term.

Here's a few links:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

Hello and welcome. I can relate, only with me it was smoking. I couldn't do one without the other.
I had to take it one at a time. First the drinking went, and them the smoking. And believe me, neither one was easy.
But I guess it's not supposed to be easy after the hole I had dug myself in with both. Innumerable cigarettes and booze a day.

I had to learn to live sober, too. It's been five years eight months today since I've had a drink. And I did my share of drugs, too.
Congratulations on three days, that's great. Just try it one day, or minute, at a time.
You can do it and this is a great place for support, so stick around.

Yes, it makes sense. I think many of us have addictive personalities. You can learn how to live sober. You can learn to manage the ups and downs and emotions of a sober life. Three days sober is fantastic. Do you have a plan to help you recover? You might read this link:


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Welcome! Great job on 3 days!

plans
 

Thanks for the welcomes, replies and links! I will check those out for sure.
As far as a plan for recovery, I have been in counselling for well over a year now, completely faking it. I know that sounds awful, but as far as they are concerned I have a lot of time in.

My bf and I have broken up, and while I know this will help me with recovery I am terrified it is going to make me relapse as well because I am completely broken hearted no matter how toxic the relationship. I was going to try to go to AA last week, never made it though but at least wanting to go was a step I had never made even in my mind. So this is something I would like to do.

I have basically no friends as I have alienated them and turned them against me with my drinking, but I do have a few supportive family members. Any others are users and drinkers themselves.

I'm hoping to find some support here by reading what others have gone through and how they cope and at least getting some of how I feel out.

I find out Monday if I have lost my job or not.
I wish I could be honest with my counsellors, but I can't for certain reasons. I guess my best bet would be a sponsor from AA/attending meetings?

And congrats on your sobriety too, and I do smoke myself too but can't think of giving that up right now. :(

Hope this post wasn't too long!
Also is the chat here very active? Would love to find people to chat to online, but also can't get it to work for me either.

Girlnotgone - welcome to a great place for encouragement. :) We're so glad to meet you. No, your post was not too long. ;) Say what's on your mind - we're here to listen and help. You can do it this time!

Hi girl not gone,
I'm not to many days ahead of you , I'm going on day 10. There is so much to read and learn on this site. We have an August support group for new people to recovery, it has been very helpful for me. Please join us, we are all in the same place as you.. You can do this.

Try giving a.a a shot! also do some deep thinking about why you want to quite and what you will gain from it. Using and drinking will always get you in bad situations so its better to just try to quite :)

I don't think what you were more addicted to really matters. I've heard people say their drug of choice is more. You say you're addicted to alcohol and narcotics and want to get sober. That's all that matters, no need to slap a label on yourself.

I've been to AA meetings where almost everyone was a heroin addict and introduced themselves as addicts, I've known a few alcoholics who didn't do drugs in NA and introduced themselves as addicts.

I agree with this. Although drinking has always caused the most severe issues in my life, I also smoked a lot of pot. I gave that up with the booze... this time. I tried to quit both many, many times without success and always felt like a failure as a result. I would switch back and forth between them, but I always wound up back in the same place: Miserable after making a fool out of myself or hurting other people on a drinking binge.

After my last "incident" I just felt ready. I don't know how else to explain it. It's the first time I really felt the resolve to change my ways. It's almost like now I see the booze and pot (to a lesser degree) as two ex-friends that I got in a fight with and don't want to hang out with anymore. It's time to cut them out of my life... Our relationship is just too toxic.

I guess there has to be a moment where you really see the light, so to speak. It's like you know you just can't take it anymore and something's gotta give.

Best wishes... You can do it :)

it don't matter. there both the same crap. downers.and affect the your cns/brain pretty much the same way. withdrawals are withdrawals. I could have wrote posts. been an alcoholc for decades and got involved in with the oxys and vikes about 3 yrs ago. daily abuse with drinking. they do go well together. the first of the yr. I new I had a huge problem and started my journey of trying to kick the pills. taper this taper that and fail fail fail over and over again. not because I wanted to get buzzed but because I just couldn't stand the withdrawals. had a bunch of one days a couple 2 days but no 3 days until june when I finally was able to stop the pills. so you are doing pretty well. still felt like awfull as I was still drinking and the withdrawals were lingering plus kept me craving the opiates. joined SR last month and made it 3 days before caving. which was good. finally joined AA and am at 19 days now. most people in my meetings are addicted to 2 substances. many heroin addicts. good luck

mark...addict and alcoholic

Welcome Girlnotgone. You said you were looking for support. You will find a lot of support here. This site has really helped me in the beginning of my recovery and through the withdraw stage.

When I was feeling really crappy because of the withdraws I would just read and read the posts, blogs, etc. It calmed the nerves hearing of success stories and also knowing I wasn't alone.

Glad to hear you have some family support. Stay around. Check in often.

Welcome to SR! You will find lots of support on here. Spend some time reading and posting, join the August class, check in on the 24 hour recovery thread every day.

You can do this! I promise it gets easier and it's worth it.

Hi girlnotgone,

I understand what you are going through. I was in a similar trap 6 years ago, alcohol, coke and mdma.

In my case I had to prioritise the drugs, but in order to do it I had to stay away from alcohol. Shame I got back to drinking after a few months, but hopefully working on that properly this time.

I can tell you once you go the past the first few days, maybe couple of weeks, it gets a lot better.

You can do this, put a plan together and we'll help you through it. Plenty of very nice people here.

P

Hiya. I couldn't be honest with a counsellor either. I just couldn't bring myself to say anything that would make her think badly of me. (Even though I could rationally understand that this was what she was their for, and had probably heard worse, etc.).

AA has been a massive part of my recovery. And lots of the younger members there also how to NA meetings. (I was really touched at an AA meeting a few weeks ago when one of the members turned up with about 15 friends from NA - apparently he'd had a house warming BBQ with his family and NA friends in the afternoon and they decided to round the event off by attending an AA meeting together. It was lovely to see him being given, and accepting, such a beautiful level of support and friendship - not something he'd have been able to do a year or so ago).

If you're anxious about getting in the door of your first meeting, perhaps it would help you to speak to someone (another woman) from your local AA and have them meet you outside the meeting the first time so you can walk in together. It can be a big help. If you phone the helpline and give them your details, they can pass these on to a local telephone responder and arrange for that to happen.

Both alcohol and drugs act as crutches to us, which we whip out instead of learning to deal with life on life's terms. So recovery needs to be about learning to deal with life. The ups and downs - sober. The pain and joy - sober. Boredom and busy times - sober. And that is all possible. I know, because I did it, and continue to do it, as do so many others. If yiu look on the AA 12-steps, or the NA ones for that matter, you will notice that of those 12-steps of recovery, it only step 1 that even mentions alcohol or drugs. The rest of them are all about learning to LIVE sober.

There is a little AA book called 'Living Sober' which is worth getting hold of an reading, whether or not you end up going to meetings. I bought it from Amazon for my Kindle, and also got a paperback copy. For such a little book, it holds a lot of wisdom.

Anyway. I wish you all the best for your recovery. BB

Some great advice and ideas here girlnotgone :)

Chat certainly can be busy - depends on the time of day tho. Are you having trouble getting in, or trouble finding people to chat with?

D

Hi Girlnotgone,

Welcome! I have found in all aspects of life that if I can't figure out the way forward to try one way, see what works then try another way. There has been a lot of good advice one people's thoughts and experiences already that can help guide you. Just keep reading, keep asking and just plain keep updating. I haven't reached full abstinence but my life is a lot better not least because of my participation in the SR Forums.

In SR you have found a family that will stand by you.

KP

Nice to meet you

Girlnotgone, I'm here 2 days now, feeling better.
My hat is off to you for doing what you have thus far!

At the beginning of my journey here, I am looking forward to waking up one day at a time and feeling even better and I know that part of my growth is listening to your story so please keep sharing; I look forward to hearing your successes!