02/08/16
 

It no longer needs to stop but has to stop. After several good days at times and weeks at times just to fall back in the same old routine I know now is the time. My wife deserves better. My body deserves better.

Congrats on the new sobriety date. Mine is just a few days ago, 02/04/16. This disease we share sucks, but having others to go through it with is very helpful.

Have you got a plan ?

My plan is to diet and exercise and also find joy in not drinking and not taking it to esxteems when I do. I am not a daily drinker. I had slight withdrawls when I was drinking 5 days a week when trying to sleep the first few nights. Those no longer persist but I still take drinking to extreems when I do drink so I know its time to stop. Hangovers suck and I dont want another one. Not remembering sucks and I dont want that ever again also.

The relationships I have that often involve drinking will change and thats scarry since some are close family, but they will just have to change.

February 8 is a great date for a sobriety date. Hope you'll join us in the class of February 16 thread here. It's really helping me so far this month.

I'm glad you've decided to get sober. :)

"and not taking it to esxteems when I do". Most of us find that very hard and it's much easier to just stop drinking and take that option out of your life. But I'm glad you're trying to stay sober in the man mean time

I struggle with it to so either A.) I will quit drinking to get sloppy or B.) I will just quit.

I am hoping for A but am finally ready to do one or the other. The first few weeks will be B.

Try a few months sober, and see if you like yourself better.

Part of recovery is the creation and maintenance of new routines. This involves change. BIG CHANGE. If you aren't changing the old routines, they are easy to return to.

So you plan on drinking, you just don't plan on overdoing it?

That, BD, is a lousy plan.

Quit completely. Never drink again. Believe me, it's easier than the charade of thinking you can control your drinking.

If we could drink and 'not overdo it' very few of us would be here BD.

You're fighting for your life here - a wishy washy plan hoping to be maybe kinda sorta sober is no good.

A plan's not hard to make.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

why not commit to some real change BD? :)

Welcome back BD!! You can do this!! :)

Congrats.

Day 2 and I feel great. Sleep was restless for a while of course but what I did get was great and my body is not shocked by the toxins this morning.

I have commited to 2 weeks with 0 alcohol. After that if I find it not possible to drink sociably then I will be taking some of you guys advice. I have made the calim I am doing it before but feeling different this time.

I deserve better. My wife deserves better. I never intend to have another withdrawl symptom. I never intend to not remember a thing due to liquor.

Feeling good. Thanks guys n gals.

You already know you can't drink sociably, go back and read your old posts. You don't need our advice to see that, you have hard evidence from your own failed attempts at doing so.

It's great that you are making these changes, but it's simply your addiction telling you that you might be able to somehow drink "repsonsibly" again some day. Most of us have tried it, multiple times, and it always fails, every single time. I hope you can keep up your current focus and realize that staying sober is the best solution long term.

Scott,

This will be the last attempt if failed. I talked a big game before then always went on back to that liquor store. I dont want to go back. I dont even want to ever be drunk again. I am scared of it. I am scared or what it made me. This time will be different. I can feel it.

Want a beer? Sure. Sounds delicious.
Want a screwdriver? $/&@ No! Want me to have 8? Thats what will happen.

Not sure I understand...do you mean you are going to make one more attempt at "controlled drinking" after a short period of not drinking, or are you attempting total sobriety as a long term/forever goal?

Believe me, you'll want 8 beers just like you wanted 8 screwdrivers. Alcohol is alcohol. Doesn't matter what it's in.

Detoxing and intending to never get sloppy again. I wont touch a sip so long as I feel any AV. The AV not only says drink today but says keep going and going and going. Its the drinking to get drunk that is going to stop.

The thought of just saying no for the rest of my life sucks. People know whats up then and as far as now this is between my wife and I and you guys.

Saying no "forever" is a very difficult concept to fathom. Your idea of keeping it to a couple of weeks is a good way to get started - saying no forever can come later.

Regarding your AV though, it's already talking to you. Think about it logically...what could possibly have changed that would somehow allow you to "control" your drinking again - ever? That's purely your addiction talking again. Whether you wait one week, one month, or one year...you are still going to be an alcholic.

My AV says whatever it takes to get that first drink. Some of my favorite lies from my addiction:

"Hey, we'll only have one today." My AV loved this one. It knows that once I take that first one, all bets are off. I might "just" have one or two more. I might drink for the next 24 hours.

"It'll be OK to drink today as long as we drink an equal amount of water" was another favorite of my AV. That plan usually lasted until about drink #3 when the water glass was soon forgotten.

"We'll go ahead and drink as much as we want today because starting tomorrow/next week/next month, we're going on the wagon" is a classic from my AV. There was always a reason to postpone the next day one once I'd started drinking.

"I'll be OK as long as I don't drink any (tequila/whiskey/vodka/insert the name of whatever drink I last overindulged in here)" always worked until I had 2 or 3 drinks in me and someone offered me that shot of tequila, etc., and I decided it'd be OK if I drank that specific drink after all, that the last time was just a fluke.

"We're going to go to the bar tonight but once we spend $20 that means we've had enough and we're going home" was always a fun one. Once I got to the bar and got that first drink in me, I soon decided that $20 shouldn't include whatever I was going to tip. And then what if someone bought me a shot? I had to return the favor, right? And certainly that shouldn't go against my strict budgetary limit I'd set myself. That wouldn't be fair.

"You can have 10 drinks this week. Once you reach that number, that's it for the week. So you can either drink all 10 in one night or spread them out over the entire week or save them all for this weekend, but no matter what, 10 drinks is it. Period" was one of my favorites. Double drinks only count as one drink against that ten drink limit, right? And what about those humongous wine glasses that leave a lot of room for the wine to breath? If I fill that glass to the top, it's still just one drink, right?

In your own words, from your first post, that's unlikely to happen:

If you don't believe us, at least believe yourself.

Have you got a plan

The plan is 2 weeks. Thats all I got for now and thats a huge step. Hopefully after that it will be like Forrest Gump running. Gotta start somewhere.

I first got sober nearly 2 years ago, and I can probably count on one hand how many times people noticed or cared. To be quite honest, your continued drinking is not nearly as important to other people as your AV would have you believe. It's important to the part of you that wants to continue drinking.

Make a real effort to change your routine. Replace the time you drink with something else. Makes it much easier and you will be enjoying life more.

Exactly what Scott and Chinaski said. Maybe you don't recognise it yet but your AV is already talking to you. What do you think is telling you you want that first beer anyway? It's your AV.

If you're going with this 2 week trial period plan then at least keep a daily record from now until then about how you feel. Keep going as you do the social drinking. Then compare.

Don't you think your wife and kid deserve more than just a couple of weeks of sobriety from you?

Have a nice day & best wishes for today