Maybe I don't have a problem?
 

How do you get past the unintentional rationalizations that begin, like:

..I really do feel, after my 5th sober day, that maybe I don't have a problem. Right now, on this Saturday night, I would love nothing more than a couple glasses of wine. And I totally think I could handle it. My problem was drinking all day during the work week. After finishing my first sober week without that behavior, would it really be THAT dangerous to slowly incorporate it back in?

Is this AV talking, or might this be a low risk path to a healthier, more balanced life than before?

I'm am just still not sold on NEVER drinking again. I feel like I can and should be able to. Has anyone successfully done this before, or should I avoid this like the plague.

Help!!!!

All I can say is that everyone that I know who has tried has failed. The AV is a tricky beast.

Best wishes.

Sounds like classic AV.. Don't give into it, getting through the week was a great effort.
Remember why you stopped drinking! Just because it's the weekend doesn't mean you will have different results.

Stay strong :)

I joined this site in June 2010. I stopped drinking in June 2014.

I tried to moderate my drinking for four years.

I suffered some serious health problems in those 4 years. I was hungover almost every day.

Moderating never worked for me or anyone else here.

Seep,

No medical advice here.

In my experience the fact that you had no problem going 5 days with out night sweats, heart palpitations, and extreme anxiety means you are not too damaged yet.

But, 5 days is your brain saying where is my booze. If you drink, it is a relapse.

You are not totally clean for a long time. Maybe a month or so.

Then if you drink again, it is another relapse.

People w no drinking problem don't wonder if they have a drinking problem.

Alcohol is poison. It causes a short term brain altered state. Yay..?

I look at it like this....Drunken euphoria followed by a weakened state, repeated continually until we get sick or worse, is no way to go through life. The long term effects are all negative. There is no win except to quit.

Hi there,

If you ARE an alcoholic you will never be able to drink normally again. If you can drink normally then you probably AREN'T an alcoholic.

But......How many non-alcoholics do you know that post on a recovery website?

My point is....it sounds like your AV is lying to you. Be careful! This disease wants us dead! Trust me...it had me in its grips 56 short days ago & I never thought I would break free.

Hang in there! Try not to think about quitting FOREVER. Try 90 days. If you're not an alcoholic that should be easy for you. After 90 days you can re-evaluate. My husband is not an alcoholic & can easily not drink for 90 days without any effort at all.

I'm glad you posted!!!

I was never sold on the idea of never drinking again either. I had a huge sense of entitlement. That I should be able to drink. All that ever got me was a wretched day to day existence, barely functioning but to get more alcohol. A twilight neither here nor there.

No one needs alcohol to exist. We just want to believe that. We can live life without it. We just have to do it. You can too.

Seep, you are posting to SoberRecovery. Normal drinkers do not find their way here. I have known many, many alcoholics, but not one who could "moderate." Drinking moderately sounds way more hellish than just giving it up.

Would you suggest to a heroin addict to "slowly incorporate it back in," that it is a "low risk path to a healthier more balanced life"? Sounds downright insane to me.

Do not take that first drink, no matter what lies your brain tells you. Hugs to you.

Normal drinkers quit for health kicks and calorie reduction. They really never have internal debates or white-knuckle abstinence issues.

I tried exactly what you've posted about for a year.
Didn't work so I finally just quit drinking.
Xoxo
I gave it a damn good year of trying haha

That's the AV.

People don't rock up to SR because life is awesome - having your past posts to refer back to is one of the best ways I know of calling out your inner addicts rationalising BS.

To be honest, this doesn't sound like a recent problem that you could ascribe to a bad patch, and it doesn't seem like the kind of problem where you'd be happy with a couple of glasses of wine.

People who can have two glasses of wine at the weekend and stop aren't the kind of folk who worry subconsciously that their drinking may get them canned at work.

Sorry if that's harsh - but you need to be harsh with the AV.
D

People w no drinking problem don't wonder if they have a drinking problem.

Very true and something to consider.

If you are a true alcoholic, there is no such thing as moderation, switching drinks etc.
This disease gets worse with time always, "It's cunning baffling and powerful" it will convince you to pick up a drink when you know in your heart and soul the devastation that will follow but somehow it also manages to sugarcoat the devastation into a false belief that it will be different this time.
I suggest you go to a beginners meeting and listen and try and identify.
The reality is yo are not alone, there are millions of us out there and a lot of those are willing to help and guide you to sobriety.

I joined SR in 2012 and have had several stretches of sobriety. Each time I started thinking I can have one glass of wine I found myself slowly back to drinking daily. Today I have ten days sober, and as much and determined not to let the past repeat itself.

All alcoholics could and should be able to drink normally. The problem is we can't and never will. Here lies the problem of alcoholism. We can rationalize our drinking any old way we want to but the sad fact is we drink more than we want despite our best efforts

I can only answer for myself but the easiest way to get past the concept that I can moderate my drinking is to look at my past. Sure, I have had times when I could drink like a "normal drinker" but those times never lasted. They always, without fail, turned into binge drinking for days, weeks months. So even if I could drink moderately for, say a year or two, that doesn't erase the 6 months or year after that period where I couldn't. Do you know what I mean?
Plus, I do stupid **** when I drink. Period. Again, drinking moderately doesn't erase the things I've done and I am certain if I went back to drinking moderately now at some point I would be doing stupid **** all over again....

I wanted to add, what has been working for me these past few days when I even think about drinking, I start to remind myself of all the embarrassing, dumb things I have done over the last year as a result of my drinking. All the times I wish I could erase. All the times I hope to god my kids can't remember.

Do you have things like that to remember? To remind yourself of when that AV kicks in?

Hi Seep.

Have you tried moderating before? I suspect that you have. And that you know what happens once you've had one or two.

Sounds like your AV trying to get to you to me.

If you don't have a problem with alcohol, then going without a drink won't cause you any problems at all, will it?! ;)

This is the conversation I have with myself all the time..... everyone on here will tell you to avoid it like the plague.
I, like you can't accept never drinking again.... The problem is if we feel like that and don't drink then some would say we are dry drunks .... acceptance is the key .... I'm where you are too

I have been in similar shoes. I could and can stop for months without a big deal. I have drank in moderation but only for the first drink. Seriously, if you can do that great but if you start thinking about timing your drinks, maybe one more, or maybe another than abstinence is the way. I was always feeling anxiety on balancing more and not looking like I had it. Then you get into hiding alcohol sneaking it and deceit. Good luck.

This is the critical thing for me. I had to accept that drinking was just something in my life I could not control. Of course there were many times I just had a couple of (large) glasses of wine and then stopped. No problem.

My problem was that I did not want to stop. I COULD stop I just didn't want to. I never saw the point, and still don't, of just 2 glasses of wine. I drank for effect not the taste or because it was a decent wine. Just for effect.

No one on here will tell you it's ok to moderate or that you don't have a problem. But ask yourself - something brought you here. How many 'normal' drinkers do you know who would look up a sobriety website, sign up and post? None. Normal drinkers don't have to moderate of think about it - they just drink moderately as standard,without a second thought.

I hope you stick around :)

Not sure if you are alcoholic ?

But, if so ?

Sounds like you have not hit a bottom yet ?

Some alcoholics jump off the elevator before hitting bottom.

These would seem to be the smarter ones.

MB

A few years ago, I got sober for two months. Felt great. Was getting back in-shape. And then attended my sister in law's wedding. I thought to myself "you earned it - go ahead and celebrate." It started with wine and ended with whiskey. A lot of it. I jumped right back in where I had left off and then drank MORE to make up for my abstinence! I don't know how I got back to the hotel that night, but what's worse, I can't remember leaving in the first place.

What is the payoff of 1 or 2 glasses of wine?
That's what I always felt trying to moderate. . .

If you drink to get a strong buzz on, one or two glasses likely won't do it
and you'll find yourself drinking more.
Maybe not the first time, but quickly.

Anyway, that's what happened to my dream of "normal" drinking.
I didn't want to accept I could not safely either. . .

[QUOTE=Seep9871;5732675]My problem was drinking all day during the work week. After finishing my first sober week without that behavior, would it really be THAT dangerous to slowly incorporate it back in?

/QUOTE] This in my eyes is not normal drinking, this is exactly the way my alcoholism progressed.
It started with everyday after work whatever shift I was on, it then progressed to early morning drinking when my ex wife went to work, I would be outside the early house at 7.30am, home at 1pm sleep until 3pm then off to work until 12pm and then the late house.
Eventually the withdrawals were so bad i would bring a flask to work with me.
Then there were the days I wouldn't bother going in and drink all day and that's when the progression would go out of control.
Drunk driving, falling asleep in bars, wetting myself , lock ups in police cells for the night until i'd sober up.
Then came treatment 3 months, come out and back at it again, back to treatment , left after 4 weeks and was admitted to psychiatric ward twice until again back to treatment.
My wife left and filed for divorce, lost my house and became homeless.
Lived in a convent with missionaries of charity for 9 months. still drank again. and then addicted to prescription pills from all the detoxs.
they were hell to come off. I could go on and on but do ya know what it's actually text book because when i went through AA big book my life story was there.
Believe me save yourself the pain and get off the elevator while you can because if there is a hell i've been there and I know it's not over yet until I get off my ass and get myself to meetings and back on the 12 step program.
you see pain has no memory and there lies part of the crux of the alcoholic mind.
By going to meetings we are listening and reminding ourselves what it was like when we were drinking, some inexplicably magic a group of alkies get together and share their experience, strength and hope.
Good luck and I really do hope you make the right choice.

Been there, done that, got the Tshirt. Took me forever to accept that I cannot moderate successfully for any period of time.

If you believe you can and should be able to drink in the future, then that's very likely what will happen. To stop drinking for good, you need a lot of motivation and a firm focus. I hope you change your mind.

Moderation doesn't work.

Moderation does not work.

Some people, to test this concept out, do many years of "research."

I hope you don't go out and do your own research, only to come back after a few years and agree, that moderation doesn't work.

And this might be after you've lost your job, your marriage, your driver's license, your reputation, your health, your self respect . . .

How are you doing today Seep?