Seep9871

How do you get past the unintentional rationalizations that begin, like:

..I really do feel, after my 5th sober day, that maybe I don't have a problem. Right now, on this Saturday night, I would love nothing more than a couple glasses of wine. And I totally think I could handle it. My problem was drinking all day during the work week. After finishing my first sober week without that behavior, would it really be THAT dangerous to slowly incorporate it back in?

Is this AV talking, or might this be a low risk path to a healthier, more balanced life than before?

I'm am just still not sold on NEVER drinking again. I feel like I can and should be able to. Has anyone successfully done this before, or should I avoid this like the plague.

Help!!!!

Upward2Enlightenment

All I can say is that everyone that I know who has tried has failed. The AV is a tricky beast.

Best wishes.

Sean30

Sounds like classic AV.. Don't give into it, getting through the week was a great effort.
Remember why you stopped drinking! Just because it's the weekend doesn't mean you will have different results.

Stay strong

MelindaFlowers

I joined this site in June 2010. I stopped drinking in June 2014.

I tried to moderate my drinking for four years.

I suffered some serious health problems in those 4 years. I was hungover almost every day.

Moderating never worked for me or anyone else here.

D122y

Seep,

No medical advice here.

In my experience the fact that you had no problem going 5 days with out night sweats, heart palpitations, and extreme anxiety means you are not too damaged yet.

But, 5 days is your brain saying where is my booze. If you drink, it is a relapse.

You are not totally clean for a long time. Maybe a month or so.

Then if you drink again, it is another relapse.

People w no drinking problem don't wonder if they have a drinking problem.

Alcohol is poison. It causes a short term brain altered state. Yay..?

I look at it like this....Drunken euphoria followed by a weakened state, repeated continually until we get sick or worse, is no way to go through life. The long term effects are all negative. There is no win except to quit.

KiKi0615

Hi there,

If you ARE an alcoholic you will never be able to drink normally again. If you can drink normally then you probably AREN'T an alcoholic.

But......How many non-alcoholics do you know that post on a recovery website?

My point is....it sounds like your AV is lying to you. Be careful! This disease wants us dead! Trust me...it had me in its grips 56 short days ago & I never thought I would break free.

Hang in there! Try not to think about quitting FOREVER. Try 90 days. If you're not an alcoholic that should be easy for you. After 90 days you can re-evaluate. My husband is not an alcoholic & can easily not drink for 90 days without any effort at all.

I'm glad you posted!!!

Ruby2

I was never sold on the idea of never drinking again either. I had a huge sense of entitlement. That I should be able to drink. All that ever got me was a wretched day to day existence, barely functioning but to get more alcohol. A twilight neither here nor there.

No one needs alcohol to exist. We just want to believe that. We can live life without it. We just have to do it. You can too.

SillyHuman

Seep, you are posting to SoberRecovery. Normal drinkers do not find their way here. I have known many, many alcoholics, but not one who could "moderate." Drinking moderately sounds way more hellish than just giving it up.

Would you suggest to a heroin addict to "slowly incorporate it back in," that it is a "low risk path to a healthier more balanced life"? Sounds downright insane to me.

Do not take that first drink, no matter what lies your brain tells you. Hugs to you.

leviathan

Normal drinkers quit for health kicks and calorie reduction. They really never have internal debates or white-knuckle abstinence issues.

Jsbodhi

I tried exactly what you've posted about for a year.
Didn't work so I finally just quit drinking.
Xoxo
I gave it a damn good year of trying haha

Dee74

That's the AV.

People don't rock up to SR because life is awesome - having your past posts to refer back to is one of the best ways I know of calling out your inner addicts rationalising BS.

To be honest, this doesn't sound like a recent problem that you could ascribe to a bad patch, and it doesn't seem like the kind of problem where you'd be happy with a couple of glasses of wine.

People who can have two glasses of wine at the weekend and stop aren't the kind of folk who worry subconsciously that their drinking may get them canned at work.

Sorry if that's harsh - but you need to be harsh with the AV.
D

thomas11

People w no drinking problem don't wonder if they have a drinking problem.

Very true and something to consider.

paddyjnr1

If you are a true alcoholic, there is no such thing as moderation, switching drinks etc.
This disease gets worse with time always, "It's cunning baffling and powerful" it will convince you to pick up a drink when you know in your heart and soul the devastation that will follow but somehow it also manages to sugarcoat the devastation into a false belief that it will be different this time.
I suggest you go to a beginners meeting and listen and try and identify.
The reality is yo are not alone, there are millions of us out there and a lot of those are willing to help and guide you to sobriety.

Delilah1

I joined SR in 2012 and have had several stretches of sobriety. Each time I started thinking I can have one glass of wine I found myself slowly back to drinking daily. Today I have ten days sober, and as much and determined not to let the past repeat itself.

MIRecovery

All alcoholics could and should be able to drink normally. The problem is we can't and never will. Here lies the problem of alcoholism. We can rationalize our drinking any old way we want to but the sad fact is we drink more than we want despite our best efforts

Sunflowerlife

I can only answer for myself but the easiest way to get past the concept that I can moderate my drinking is to look at my past. Sure, I have had times when I could drink like a "normal drinker" but those times never lasted. They always, without fail, turned into binge drinking for days, weeks months. So even if I could drink moderately for, say a year or two, that doesn't erase the 6 months or year after that period where I couldn't. Do you know what I mean?
Plus, I do stupid **** when I drink. Period. Again, drinking moderately doesn't erase the things I've done and I am certain if I went back to drinking moderately now at some point I would be doing stupid **** all over again....

Sunflowerlife

I wanted to add, what has been working for me these past few days when I even think about drinking, I start to remind myself of all the embarrassing, dumb things I have done over the last year as a result of my drinking. All the times I wish I could erase. All the times I hope to god my kids can't remember.

Do you have things like that to remember? To remind yourself of when that AV kicks in?

Berrybean

Hi Seep.

Have you tried moderating before? I suspect that you have. And that you know what happens once you've had one or two.

Sounds like your AV trying to get to you to me.

If you don't have a problem with alcohol, then going without a drink won't cause you any problems at all, will it?!

adelina123

This is the conversation I have with myself all the time..... everyone on here will tell you to avoid it like the plague.
I, like you can't accept never drinking again.... The problem is if we feel like that and don't drink then some would say we are dry drunks .... acceptance is the key .... I'm where you are too

Tick

I have been in similar shoes. I could and can stop for months without a big deal. I have drank in moderation but only for the first drink. Seriously, if you can do that great but if you start thinking about timing your drinks, maybe one more, or maybe another than abstinence is the way. I was always feeling anxiety on balancing more and not looking like I had it. Then you get into hiding alcohol sneaking it and deceit. Good luck.