Checking in and back at it
 

I had 61 days without a drop.

Life has been pretty stressful. Moving to a new house, kids starting different schools, two family members diagnosed with Alzheimer's and work...whew...work.

I have been with my company for 21 years. It's been clear that over the last 10 years or so that when projects start going south they put me in charge of them. I guess I should be flattered that they have that much faith and trust in me to "right the ship" or protect us from (or set the stage) for litigation. They are unaware of how I typically deal with stress, which is why I joined this site.

I know none of the above is any real reason to drink, but I did and I'm I have been pretty upset about it. Just when I was letting the guilt go i do this to myself.

It would have been 84 days today I believe but I only made it to 61 days. Anyway, I have not touched a drop in over 13 days. So I guess more than anything I am just coming clean to my SR friends. It's clear I have to learn how to deal with stressors in a better way. My sincere apologies to everyone and thanks for listening.

The important thing is you're back Charlie.
What improvements do you think you need to make to your recovery programme?

D

Hey Dee. Nice to hear from you. Thanks. I have always been a compulsive worrier and I believe I put much more stress on myself than I can handle. With that said and needing to overcome that aspect in my life I have to learn how to deal with overbearing stress whether legitimate or self induced. To be honest when I messed up it "felt" like it helped but as we all know and me too, that drinking did not assist in anyway with solving the problems at hand. I need to either find a constructive outlet or just stop worrying all together. Easier said than done. I am open to any suggestions if anyone has insight to overcome these things. I am all ears

I'm so glad you wanted to talk it over, Charlie. Proud of you - no reason to apologize. You sound more determined now. :) Sometimes we need further proof that it does us no good.

here are some ideas on stress Charlie
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...44-stress.html

and this is a great link for devising your own recovery plan tailored to your needs - even if you've seen it before, read it again :)

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

D

Charlie, I'm glad you're back and you haven't lost what you learned in those 61 days. Dealing with stress is tough, especially when you're busy. Meditation and yoga are both really helpful to me.

Thanks everyone. Dee I looked at the links and strategy no. 6 on the stress management link is a huge one that I struggle with. The 2nd link is pretty long so I will make it my nightly reading till complete.

Even though I screwed up I have to say being sober even though for a short term by many on here (a record for me) was extremely beneficial. Felt better physically, the punching bags under my eyes were gone. I have lost 38 lbs ( it fell off in lightning speed) and my sleep was back to normal. Sometimes I wonder if I should have ever traded my tool belt for a pen and computer with regard to work. Would things be different today. "What ifs" have really been strong over the last two months. I guess reflecting is part of the healing process. Now I'm just ranting. Thanks for listening.

I failed so many times before I 'got it right'. Don't give up. Keep trying until you get it right. I never thought I could make it but now have almost six years. :)

:hug:

Hey Charlie, why don't you join the November 2015 Class? We have a great group!!! :-)

Hey Charlie, I have been thinking about you. Good to see you back. Keep at it. YOu just have to keep going. Stick close to here, come on here and get out your frustrations next time. You know drinking does nothing to solve any issue.
Sending you a big hug and again, I'm really glad to see you back.

I'm glad you're back, my friend.