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Originally Posted by Secretdrinker
(Post 5555204)
I cant. For my kids. I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone, my kid gets enough grief as it is because we are relatively poor when her friends live in huge houses with boats out the back. I am a bad mum. I have been an alcoholic for the last 11 years. ..... ....I CANNOT go to AA meetings around here because if people find out, my kid will be picked on even more than she is so please dont advise that>> Is there a way of doing this alone?? Going to AA isn't going to make your life worse. Being someone who recognizes their life needs improving and taking steps to improve it isn't something to be ashamed of. Trying to 'go it alone' seldom if ever works in recovery. |
Originally Posted by FeelingGreat
(Post 5559517)
SD you're doing fine. The evening craving is predictable because when you want to relax your brain thinks 'alcohol'. I suggest you have a drink in your hand like a cup of tea or soft drink so you'll soon start to associate it with relaxation. It's imperative you don't drink through these weeks when your AV tries every argument to get you started again. . Sugarbear, I am still trying to get my ex to babysit. I don't have any friends I can leave my youngest with and she doesn't go to daycare or anything. She is attached to me 24/7. I'm trying to make him see how serious I am, and that I need a little help. He thinks the meetings will be a waste of time. He thinks if you want to stop drinking, you just should, no need for 'gay' meetings. Funny though, like I said earlier, he's an alcoholic, he just wont admit it, saying 'I could stop anytime I want, I just choose not to'. I hope once he sees what a positive impact it is having on mine and the kids lives, he will follow suit. I'm now on day 4! :) |
I'm actually really tired, it's a weird feeling. I was yawning around 8pm last night, that's unusual for me, as even though I usually stay up till around 11pm drinking, I don't get tired tired, I never yawn, I just pass out. It's a different kind of tiredness with alcohol hey. I yawned in bed last night and felt normal going to bed for the first time in a long time. Still took me ages to get to sleep but once I did, I stayed asleep which was lovely. Gosh i don't miss stumbling to the fridge numerous times a night to chug liters of absolutely anything to cure the dehydration. |
Sounds like you're doing ok secretdrinker :) D |
Hey SD. You're doing everything right. Keep it up. I'm watching your progress and it's inspiring! |
Originally Posted by Secretdrinker
(Post 5560216)
That's what I'm doing. I know it sounds a little silly, but I'm trying to kid my brain into craving tea instead. I usually have around 6-7 cups a day, but from midday onwards I'm not having any even though I really want some! I tell myself I will have one when the kids have gone to bed, something to look forward to, that moment of finally sitting down with a comforting drink. |
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
(Post 5559770)
This was also exactly what happened to me--the habit, the addictive voice in my head trying to tempt me over and over early on, but by sticking it out and forming new habits, I also very rarely think of or even miss alcohol now, which is something I would never have believed possible. Sounds like your kids are really enjoying the new you Secret :) |
Your doing great SD |
Awesome to read this! You are doing amazing! I also "save" a special drink that I only drink during the evening hours once I have accomplished everything or in particularly precarious moments. It is my new reward. I have sparkling water with lime and mint. I drink tons of sparkling water throughout the day, sometimes with lemon, and also a lot of fruit juice. But the water/lime/mint combo is saved only for the evenings or special occasions. |
Hi SD, If I've got my time zones right you'll be heading into that time of the evening again. It's so exciting to read how well you've been doing with this life changing decision. Your AV will start throwing the kitchen sink at you now that it knows you're serious about this. Just keep reminding yourself that you don't need to listen to it. It's powerless to open a bottle without your help. Keep posting if that helps, but I'm impressed with some of the methods you've come up with to beat your old habits. |
Thank you! You have no idea how much this place helps, all your kind words and advice. I wouldn't have gotten to day 5 without you all. I wouldn't have even gotten to day 2. My AV is already starting up, but I know it for what it is now, I'm learning it's tricks, and I do love a good fight haha I have imagined it's my dad, and I HATED him. He was abusive in every sense of the word. He was also an alcoholic as I've mentioned. So my AV is now my dad, always whispering in my ear to join him, to just have one glass, to be like him... It helps a lot. I tell it to F**** off quite a bit haha (something I was never able to do when he was alive because I was so scared.) |
:c014: |
Hi Secret; Yes, the old AV really is sneaky. I tell mine to F off as well--I won't say it goes away but it does give up for long periods of time now. When you're feeling better physically, vigorous exercise not only helps you lose weight but it is a great way to banish the AV for long stretches. I bet your kids would enjoy some playing in the park, or swimming in a pool or the sea with you Maybe a good hike and picnic to see the Spring flowers. . . Spring is coming to Oz right now, isn't it? |
It sure is,Hawke. Beautiful day here in Oz today :) Just about to take my girl to the park. I take them every day, but am usually so hungover we always drive. Today I'm going to leave the carkeys and go for a powerwalk :) Hope you're all having wonderful sober days:grouphug: |
You don't have to be an alcoholic. You can just be a super cool non-drinker. Someone that has figured out the secret to everlasting success and happiness. |
I've been following your thread and just want to say you're doing brilliantly :) You sound so positive through the early days- be proud of yourself. For me, getting sober made me really realize just how much potential there is in life and made me appreciate little things I'd just not noticed before. The sun shining, the park, my little boy's smiling face etc etc!! Hope you get a decent sleep and have a good day tomorrow. congrats on 5 days :c011: |
I'm following your SD; really want you to succeed! You're doing so well. |
WOW! You have hopefully not surprised yourself, but I am incredibly impressed with you reading this thread from start to finish and seeing your 4 day (and counting) progression. I'll echo what others are saying. Keep it up! Can't wait to see what day 5 looks like for you, I'll be following! |
Secret drinker I can totally relate to how you're feeling I too am in the same situation. I live in a village where everyone knows each other. There are two shops of which I alternate to buy wine and sometimes travel further because I'm so scared people will start gossiping. My 12 year old has made comments like " you don't listen to me because your always drunk" it hurts!! I have been drinking a similar amount to you. I know eventually it will kill me as well as the smoking. As for excuses .... we could write a book of them between us .... good day, bad day, happy, stressed, Friday, Saturday, its sunny, it raining, good TV, nothing on TV. ... The list is endless. I am spending too much too am going over my budget to buy wine. despite all of this ..... i still drink!! You are not alone xx |
Argh!! Kids! Stress!! Roll on bedtime and my cup of tea!! I wont, but I could just down a bottle so freakin easily right now! My chest is so tight. Thanks for the messages of support! I need them right now! DEEP BREATHS!! |
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