Let us know how everything goes in therapy and otherwise, Justin :)

Other powerful areas that truly work for me to help maintain my sobriety (and my inspirations about life in general) are engaging in physical reality. That was something I detached from and disliked for a good reason in my early childhood... but re-connecting with my physicality, and the physicality of others have always helped me tremendously in my good phases.

So, yeah, I just had my hair done (again) today. It's a really silly thing, but the origin is that I have nice hair that stylists have fancied even when I was a child, and it still grows like weed (good "weed" :) ). Something I like about myself at least, but I only do when I take care of it these days.

Also, I re-started dancing a couple months ago and I'm really enjoying it. And now it's spring on our hemisphere, so I can get into long distance running again.

The thing I'm trying to convey, Justin, is that we may have gifts, including parts of physical health -- but these won't last forever. The whole idea of enjoying the moment is built on this, I think :)

Dont know how I missed this, Justin, but congrats on 4 months! Sounds like you've got your priorities right and your focus is where it should be.
Well done!

I think what I'm reading here is that people like us can get caught up in "thinking" too much. I am definitely guilty of that and it is really weighing me down. I was just about to force myself to go for a run because I don't know what else to do. The rumination of my present situation is reaching a boiling point. Maybe it has to do with this mornings events.

I had to fast last night because I went for a physical and requested bloodwork for vitamin deficiency among a host of other tests, to make sure I am in good health as well as supplementing what I need to. The most challenging part was this mornings coffee. Well to make a long story shorter, I ran into my ex at Starbucks right after my lab work. We had coffee, then went to her place to get our marriage certificate and some other paperwork needed to make some headway on finalizing our divorce. It ended in a slew of insults spilling out onto the street as I left, her yelling at me to go get drunk(this insult stands out amongst the lot of them), and me yelling other choice words back at her. I am usually pretty composed, and laid back but I completely told her how I felt, and the exchange escalated to a yelling match. The children were at school so they didn't have to witness this, but it really makes me think I need to limit contact with my ex. I do not want this type of situation happening around them.

I had to dispatch of a few VERY strong cravings on my way home but I made it! These are the strongest they have been thus far. I'm glad I have this place to come to. I have to go and exercise, I am still steaming! :c004: Sorry if this doesn't make sense, but I had to post.

I'm really sorry things escalated like they did today, justin, but you're dealing with it in a healthy way! You're sticking to your sober plan! Well done!

I'm pretty sure we share the same sobriety date....I was just thinking of what I (we) would've done in this same scenario four months ago?!?!....pretty sure it wouldn't have been come to SR and post and then go workout!!

Hope you're able to calm down and get re-centered and re-focused and keep moving forward!

Excellent post brynn, I definitely would not be posting HERE right now! It helps to step back and look at it from this perspective. I actually am feeling a little more centred. Things really went sideways there for a bit, but I managed to stay on track!

I was just wondering the same thing, pretty sure we do share the same sobriety date.

Thanks and congrats to you too for 4+ months. :)

She phoned me this morning and I apologized to her for my side of the immature argument. Then she proceeds to tell me I need "this and that" for our meeting with the lawyer tomorrow. I ask her if she has a document of mine at her place and she says I think so, so I ask her to check and she gets angry for me telling her what to do and hangs up on me. Ugh. I should not have answered.

Trying to deal with this soberly and maturely, but it is tough. My OP is really proving to be true. Life does continue, both the good and the bad and it is ultra clear and intense at times. Nothing to chemically cushion the blow of the negative stuff.

I will just ride it out. Month 4 is the toughest yet. In retrospect the physical symptoms were challenging but this is equally as challenging.

Thanks for all the kind posts. Doing better and will stay the course!

Good stuff Justin trust me itl be worth it brother

Thanks Soberwolf, I really like your graphic with the message. very meaningful to me!

Went to group therapy this morning and it was great. Doing much better today. Met another person in recovery who is going through a similar situation as me. I think one of the keys for me is sharing openly and honestly about what I am going through. This place is awesome for that, I actually recommended this website when asked how I was managing my recovery.

In regards to meeting one on one, I have finally been assigned a therapist, or psychiatrist. I am a little unsure if a psychiatrist is the right person to see. I will keep my appointment, but am still going to see a dedicated psychologist to see if that is a better fit. I will just keep trying and find what fits for me.

I went out shopping for myself bought some new clothing, fixed my hair. Something I haven't done in awhile, and it felt good! I have to regain the identity that I feel I relinquished, and focus on self care and becoming my own man. What a journey, a rollercoaster indeed.

Well done Justin. Our situations are similar in some aspects, we have a similar amount of sober time also.

I hear you about the relinquished identity and the lack of self care so kudos on doing something for yourself.

Keep on with your recovery journey, it sounds like are getting decent support and making good progress now.

Glad you did something nice for yourself!
:)

Glad to hear all this.

On the psychiatrist, yes if they have the typical medically-oriented training only, they might not be as competent in psychotherapy as a clinical psychologist, for example. But it depends on everyone's individual training and experience. Some psychiatrists do take on a lot of extra training in therapy, and I heard of people who first got psychology degrees and then went to medical school and completed psychiatry residency. I know a couple psychiatrists that started out as such mostly, but then got interested in psychotherapy a lot and completed a lot of relevant training. In fact, one of my best friends is someone like that, pretty top notch and competent in both areas (that are obviously overlapping); he also has some incredible intuitive sense for the human condition and behavior. It's worth asking them about these in your first consultation (I would at least). But in the end of the day, what matters most is what happens in your first hand experience, how you feel working with them. I'm personally someone who's usually less interested in formal pedigrees and much more in someone's knowledge, experience, and ability to do the thing.

Good luck onward! :)