I'm awesome at failing
 

Yep I'm back again. I want/need to give up the drink. It's been 20 years and I am just tired. I'm in my usual rut waking up at 3am swearing to myself I'll quit. I'm on the right track until about 3pm when I'm starting to convince myself that one won't hurt but that one ends up being one bottle. I usually go one to two nights a week not drinking and use to thnk that's ok. I hate that people know me more that I've had a few than not!

I want to quit completely but reality is I know it's hard for me so I'm going to take one day at a time. I just can't think a year ahead. Yep I'm really disappointed in myself for all my failed attempts. So I'm going to use those to get thru each day. I eventually want to actually feel proud of myself for a change!

What are you using for support Kath?

For me in isolation I continued to drink, all the good intentions and willpower went out the window sooner or later, because my mind was addicted to alcohol and it would convince me in isolation.

Instead I needed something outside of my self on a daily basis to give me a second opinion on things, short circuit my own though processes, keep me focused on the task at hand, and as you say the battle is one day at a time!!

You can do this, tweak your plan and go at things again!! :)

Edison was once asked what it felt like to fail thousands of times at making a light bulb. He replied, I have not failed, I have discovered thousands of ways NOT to make a light bulb. You have not failed at anything. On the contrary, you have learned what does not work. Now try something different. You are right there at the doorstep of success!

Great analogy, Mac! :)

You can do this, Kath! Keep repeating! :)

Hi.
I and many can identify with your feelings of such despair.
If asked we know that it takes time to rebuild an engine, build a stick house drive from coast to coast etc.
Why should we expect years of habit in many cases fix itself overnight or even a few days?

I needed to get honest with myself about MY drinking and accept the fact I cannot drink alcohol in safety one day at a time in a row. It’s that simple, not always easy.

A big helpful hint I received in the beginning was to avoid isolation which many seek.
I needed all the help I could get.

BE WELL

Hi Kath - it's a really rough place to be trapped by alcohol and stuck with all those thoughts that swirl around in your mind. I hope that you are able to have an alcohol free day today. Is there any particular type of support from us that can help you?

I really liked what PK and IOAA had to say.
Kath you have been a member of SR since 2012 yet have posted only 24 times.
Why not take advantage of this resource and make the most of SR? It's free.
Commit yourself to post everyday. Contribute to other people's thread (that will get you involved and out of your own head).
Join in the 24 hours recovery connection and commit daily to staying drugs and alcohol free. It s a fun supportive way to hold ourselves accountable
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-46-a-18.html

Also you could join the class of March where people who quit at the same time support each others through early (and later) sobriety
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-23.html

If you truly want to quit, you will have to make changes because obviously your way is not working. You can wish recovery or you can start taking action it's up to you.

Welcome back Kath :)

Have you any ideas on what you might do differently this time?

D

Kath, you dont have to think a year ahead. Just stay sober until bedtime. Thats all.

In the morning when you awake clear and proud...just do it again.

DD

I hope you find the support you need, both here and in real life, to stop drinking for good. :hug:

Hi Kath, I like what Carlotta said. If you know that you run into trouble at 3 p.m. come on SR at 2 p.m. and start reading and posting. I start by checking out the threads when I first wake up too. Sets the tone for the day.

I used to wake at 3 in the morning too. Angry that I drank again. Feeling like crap. But then drinking more to keep from going into withdrawal and to pass out again.

When I got sick of it, I didn't really want to stop but knew I had to. The thought of forever was too much so it was easier to say "Just for today, i won't drink".

You can do it. Welcome back.

I hear you ive been in the same boat for to long now. Im just trying to stay busy as possible when i have free time all i can think about is drinking. I get so angry at myself because i let myself get like this. I should be starving for alcohol it just made my life terrible its not fun anymore im not sure if it actually ever was. But hang in there i feel just like you do. But becoming sober and not drinking is whats best for us right now theres no magic that makes us stop its actually so simple dont drink but yet so hard.