What was your BOTTOM?
 

Here we go again...another thread from Serenidad. Sick of me yet? Lol.

I am genuinely interested & curious about this:

For those of you who have some sobriety under your belt, what was your "bottom"? What was your turning point? What happened to make you finally put the plug in the jug and quit drinking (or whatever you were addicted to)???

My bottom was health-related. I have no criminal history and my relationship was going strong. I was diagnosed with liver issues (second stage) and I was going through withdrawals on a daily basis. I didn't know what it was at the time though. My heart would beat irregularly and rapidly. I could barely concentrate enough to read a book or an email all the way through at work. I felt like I was on the verge of a panic (or even heart) attack on a daily basis. I could not handle it anymore.

Drinking stopped working. I was still drinking my 12 drinks a night but I could no longer reach a buzz. I would eventually get "drunk" but it was not fun or relaxing at all. Not mentally stopped working, physically stopped working. I still wanted to drink. Either my liver, brain, or some other organ (or combination) was no longer processing the alcohol like it used to (or would in normal people). What I was seeking in drinking (relaxation, fun, laughs, relief) had completely disappeared. It was as if someone had switched the beer and vodka to some placebo experiment where it was no longer alcohol but just poison.

Why did I stop on June 27th of this year? I woke up massively hungover. The kind of 12 out of 10 hangover on a 1-10 scale. I couldn't think. I could barely talk. I couldn't leave my bed but I couldn't rest. But those symptoms were pretty normal for me at this point. I stopped on June 27th because the stomach pains had (for the first time) started radiating to my back. Middle and lower back. Every 30 minutes or so I would get a shooting pain that made it extremely uncomfortable to sit up. I thought I was going to die on June 27th, 2014. I thought "That's it, my liver has failed. I have finally done it." It's a weird feeling to think you are going to die in the next few days.

I knew at that point I couldn't continue. That was my bottom. Stopped at 32. I am certain that I would have died in a few months to a few years if I would have continued.

Much like Melinda I ad reached the end stage health wise.
I was unable to walk or eat or sleep and my lungs were full of fluid and not draining.
My despair was total and I simply 'wished for the end'.
In a moment of clarity (call it what you will) I realized that whether I survived or not, my drinking was over and that if I lived I would find the fortitude to finally live my life sober.
My 'bottom' was simply the hell that I need never return to if I don't pick up that drink and remain humble and grateful enough to reach out.
I have the POWER of CHOICE today.
G:)

No I am not sick of you Serenidad. I have been reading your posts and you give me a sense of connection.

anyway, to answer your post,
1. I was threatened by eviction.
2. I realized that life needs me, and
3. I have been booted off so many bloody forums for drunken postings that I have now only got room for my own two feet. and if i don't retain them, well...

Serenidad we'll never get tired of you asking questions, while you are typing (unless you type with one hand) you arn't at the bottom of a bottle.

My bottom was the realisation alcohol was boss and for a control freak that's real bad.

I didn't have a bottom, just a realisation that I was getting worse and not liking the future.

Almost losing the house, after payment arrears.Which I have managed to hold onto for now. As long as I stay sober, I will get back on track. Family life still not that good just now, but working on it.

I woke up one morning and finally i had enough of drinking i was done

i was losing everything i cared about luckily i made a full recovery

Mine probably sounds a bit vain but here it is. I was disgustingly hungover but had a hair appointment so dragged myself out of bed, showered, threw any old clothes on and headed for the mall. I had been drinking red wine the night before and had spent the morning vomiting but after a few painkillers I was able to function enough to cope with the hairdresser. I hadn't really looked at myself for a long time and those big, brightly lit mirrors hide nothing. My face was bloated, bright red and all sweaty. I was grossly overweight and in all honesty hadn't even noticed. I could smell stale booze and cigarettes coming off my fingertips. When the hairdresser combed my hair back he revealed a huge bald patch I hadn't even noticed. I started crying, not just because of the way I looked but for how it reflected how I felt on the inside, dirty, hopeless, depressed and desperate. I had been drinking all day every day for a few months, was calling in sick for work all the time and I was broke. I felt like death. I stopped drinking that day and saw a Dr the following week. I think I would be dead or in jail if I hadn't stopped when I did. I had also begun driving while drunk which was a boundary I thought I would never cross and I was horrified at how easy it was for me to do. My husband was also sick of me and had one foot out the door.

Insomnia, itching, IBS, chest ache, lower r&l quads aching, failing vision, constant charlie-horses in calves and feet from dehydration, no appetite, hot 'n cold. In short I felt death was near and alcohol was offering no relief and was the culprit. Prison, multiple DUI's, Lost relationship with kids all were not quite enough for me.

Everyone always wants to know about my bottom. :)

We don't have enough threads asking where our TOP is. Maybe because now that many of us are sober we don't know where that is yet. I'm still climbing. :a122:

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/i...421ax6R0PfkEAt

Looked a bit like that :)

Maybe the Top is Topless. :c029:





haha, I'll get me coat.....

Like many others, I am not sure what my bottom was. It rightfully could have been any number of events over the past several years, but I kept on drinking for some reason. I just woke up one day and realized enough was enough and just stopped. It wasn't fun anymore.

My "bottom" so to speak was when I looked in the mirror (really looked) & saw a person I didn't recognize anymore: 70lbs overwweight, tired, depressed, & feeling hopeless. What I saw were the symptoms of my alcohol drinking & what it made me become. I didn't like the person I had become & so I took action.

I barely touched alcohol the first 35 years of my life, because I was so afraid of turning into my father (who was an abusive alcoholic until the day he died). The day I started drinking in the morning, I realized I was just like him. My biggest fear suddenly turned real. That's when I knew I needed to stop, and after a few more months (...) of crying into my red wine I think I pulled myself together.

This is my reminder everytime I crave a drink.

...oh, and my 39th birthday, when I was alone, drunk and feeling really sorry for myself. I cut my wrist (not deep - attention-seeking, not suicidal), took a picture and sent it to my ex. Then I turned off the phone and went to bed. Very proud of myself the morning after when I had to call him to apologize... It's moments like these I hope to never experience again.

...and to everyone who dislikes these bottom-threads..: I'm still early in recovery. My stories keep me motivated to stay sober. Reading other's makes me realize I'm not alone in having done a lot of stupid things. :)

The recognition that alcoholism is a fatal disease and seeing people different shade of yellowish / green in groups is a bottom I remember daily......

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lly-again.html

The endless hampster wheel of getting, hiding and using dope brought me to the point of considering suicide. That did it for me. No more.

lost job

Very similar, except my liver actually did fail.

Bunnez