I don't know that I've hit it yet, at least with alcohol. 20 years ago I hit it with other substances. I don't want to retest the lows. Just like the banks, I want to be too big to fail.

I'm still climbing too Nonsensical! I CAN tell you that when I had 5.5 years of sobriety my WORST day sober was still a thousand times better than my BEST day drunk. (not that there were really any good days drunk by the end).

I am just so mad that I drank again last October 2013 and threw away 5.5 years. Actually its not even about the years I was sober because all we really have is today. THE PROBLEM IS....

....I WOKE UP THE BEAST!

My bottom was my 3rd DUI arrest and being forced into a court DUI program. I had to attend 3 AA meetings a week, 4 classes at the court program a week, pee into a cup for testing 5-7 times a week, if I came up positive I went back to jail. My saving grace was AA because the court program was a year long it gave me time between my last drink and what I thought would be my next drink.

Thank God I found a sponsor who believed in me and helped me to achieve a life I thought was impossible. I don't believe AA is the only way to get and stay sober. I used Sober Recovery as a tool, as well as outside help for depression. I was able to finally look in the mirror and see who I was, what I had become, what I had lost, and what I wanted to do to achieve the life I wanted and needed.

ME TOO STELLA! Reading this post is really helping me and who knows...it just may keep me from drinking today and save my life (or freedom)! When I drink...I am turning my life over to the care of something EVIL! :fright:

My bottom was being miserable. Full of regret. Fighting with my wife (nothing of real substance, just trying to justify and cover for my drinking.)

Missing quality time with my kids. Job performance. Missing money. Deception. making promise and not keeping them. I could keep going but you get the picture. I am sober today!!

This sums me up also..

This is what scares me! A third DUI! I got 2 in 2008 (with no prior criminal history...only a speeding ticket). The second one was my bottom! I was laying in a jail cell. Regardless....I seemed to have forgotton that FEAR because I drank again 5.5 years later.

For me this time....it was just pure misery. Not being able to look at myself in the mirror. Not being able to look anyone in the eye. Feeling extremely depressed, hopeless and anxious.

Drinking stops being fun when all you do is think about suicide while you are doing it. I would never actually kill myself but the fact that I was even thinking about it SCARED ME! There might be an indication that you have a problem when you drink a few drinks and start thinking about ending your life. :cries3:

SAD SAD SAD! I will say it again...Alcohol is evil!

I went to a company Xmas party last year and it got pretty wild. People ended up taking off their clothes (it was at my bosses loft downtown) and dancing in their underwear. I did not participate in that, but I did get the drunkest I have ever been. I was mixing drinks...wine first, then vodka and then absinthe!! I had to be driven home. I got out of the car, staggered over the outside AC condenser unit and vomited into it thinking it was a toilet. My friend got me inside, undressed me and put me to bed. I had a hangover for 3 days. That was when I said to myself I have to do something about my drinking. I was so embarrassed. And I joined this site in Sept. Things are really much better now, although I have relapsed a couple times.

Serenidad you make so many of us keep thinking of what was and how bad.. and how much better we are.. Did not want to be my Pop... bad enough that I can turn into him sober... had someone here at work get pushy on me being a happy camper.. turned for a sec and let them have my Pop for a minute. its that or a smile your choice.. me I chose the happy Camper... they never questioned my smile and bright Good Morning again.. what there is a line from a WereWolf movie.. don't make me mad.. you would not like to deal with that animal.. ekkekek run run run hahahahaa

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

This is what scares me! A third DUI! I got 2 in 2008 (with no prior criminal history...only a speeding ticket). The second one was my bottom! I was laying in a jail cell. Regardless....I seemed to have forgotton that FEAR because I drank again 5.5 years later.

For me this time....it was just pure misery. Not being able to look at myself in the mirror. Not being able to look anyone in the eye. Feeling extremely depressed, hopeless and anxious.

Drinking stops being fun when all you do is think about suicide while you are doing it. I would never actually kill myself but the fact that I was even thinking about it SCARED ME! There might be an indication that you have a problem when you drink a few drinks and start thinking about ending your life. :cries3:

SAD SAD SAD! I will say it again...Alcohol is evil!

For me it was realizing I had been drinking for 15 years. I always thought I would outgrow it, but never did. Health issues are almost a guarantee at this point. Beyond that, it was drinking 6 high alcohol beers in one night. I got pretty drunk, but I was mortified I was able to drink that much. My husband was also making snarky comments about my drinking at night. Between all those things, I knew I needed to change and could no longer continue down this path.

My bottom was a looooong time coming, but 10 days ago I couldn't ignore it any longer. It was such a humiliating, frightening experience, but I now know it was for the best.

I hadn't been feeling well, but that was natural for an alcoholic like me. But this was different....I knew something was wrong. My liver area was hurting more and more, and i had zero energy. Shortly after that i woke up one day and my face and eyes had a yellow tint. I went to the emergency room and all hell broke loose. They took soooo much blood. they took an ultrasound.

I never had so many people talking to me bluntly about death before. I ended up in the hospital for 6 days in order to get my enzymes headed down and not up. It was the worst experience of my life, but I'm glad it happened. If I hadn't seen the yellow staring back at me in the mirror I would have carried on drinking and telling myself i'd quit eventually.

I'm home now, feeling good, and getting stronger. I have my pale skin and eyes back finally. my mantra is "safe and sober."

And I'll tell you the absolute worst part... I'm 32 and I've been wanting a second baby for years. (What a joke considering the hot mess i was.) And there I was, in a hospital getting an ultrasound...not for a precious baby, but for how i had destroyed my insides. It was a horribly life shattering moment.

Yup. I've woke mine up a time or ninety.

What I have found is that once the Beast gets you down it keeps you down by making you look backwards with shame and regret. Nothing puts that bastage back to sleep faster than looking forward with hope and optimism.

Give it a whirl, you might like the results.:)

Bottom
 

Mine was health problems too. The panic attacks, the pain in my chest. Totally on the way to death. The hangovers, going broke, just trying to survive and then tell myself "tomorrow will be different" and it never was. It is tough, but like someone else said, better to have a ****** day sober than a "good" day drunk.

I had been drinking for 38 years, Serenidad.

I was on my way to becoming a smelly, selfish old drama queen.
Or a dead one.

Life's too short for that kind of s**t.

Thats the stuff right there.

Good stuff here! It's so scary what alcohol does to our body! I talked to a male friend of mine on the phone an hour ago. He recently got out of the hospital . He relapsed after 3 months sober and was found face down in his apartment barely breathing!

Apparently no one could get ahold of him for a few days. For some reason he left his front door unlocked (a God thing) so his friend walked in an found him.

Anyway....he woke up 7 days later in a hospital in ICU. The doctors told him her almost died when he first got to the hospital. So scary! Anyway..he survived and hasn't had a drink in over a month but as we were hanging up he told me he was heading to a BAR for lunch. A bar he used to drink at all the time! He said he was gonna just have a root beer and eat. I told him I thought this was very dangerous!

He lives alone and doesn't work any kind of program. I'm so afraid that today could be the last time I ever talk to him. The doctors said that if he drinks again he will die. I told him about my fear and that I guess I would just have to check the obituaries regularly. He laughed. I'm not sure he cares. I know I'm powerless over this...it just stinks. :(

F--- alcohol! I hate it! It's killed way too many family & friends, has tried to kill ME and is trying to kill millions more!

I'll keep praying...

P.S. Sorry about my double post earlier. I'm not sure why of posted twice.

There were some issues with the website posting the same post multiple times.

When you objectively all the damage alcohol does not only to the person drinking it but to their friends, family etc. it is depressing.

Legal problems, financial problems, mental problems, emotional problems, spiritual problems, physical problems...the list is endless. So I agree F*** alcohol!

I love your posts! Glad ur back!

I had so many life altering, alcohol induced bottoms but was to stupid to hear the wake up call. I've had several sobriety stints but would go back ten times harder. My bottom could quite possibly be my early grave and that's what I'm preventing.