Slipped Again
 

Yesterday, I had my first AA meeting near where I live. I was looking for additional support. I had been nearly two weeks sober and was feeling great and then at the meeting, a complete ******* started on me for no reason. It looked like he wanted to get physical, so I just left in a huff.

It really upset me and I lost control of myself. I went into a bar and had a drink. After 2 pints, I went home and really shaken by my experiences.

2 weeks, I cant believe it. 2 Weeks in and I was doing fine, no real temptations and then some idiot takes out his insecurities on me and I throw it away.

He starts telling me, how I cant make it in AA or stay sober if I dont believe in God. I said you mean a Higher Power, he said; No God.

Anyway, I have even had a drink tonight, but tomorrow I am starting day 1 again and this time no more AA.

You need to learn how to deal with your stress without going right for the drink. One stranger's unsolicitated opinion should not have driven you to give up. Who cares what he thinks?

What are you going to do next time? Are you drinking now? Snowball effect is the worst.

Time to find a new meeting.

IMO it takes a while to find a good meeting but once you do you will be glad you did.

Sorry about your experiences. As lighteningbug says, may this help you learn better ways to cope when someone makes you angry in the future. Perhaps call someone next time?

I'm sorry that happened Alone. We're very fragile in the early days - that was shameful behavior on his part when you were seeking help. Bug is right though - learning to deal with stress without falling back on our old 'buffer' is essential. You will do it! Glad you are back with new determination, hopefully.

pick up where you left off. Sort of reminds me of boot camp. After 49 pushups you falter on 50 - the DI yells ONE! Don't let them get to you.
Have you considered AVRT, rational recovery or some other type of recovery method?

I was angry by how he made me feel. I have problems and I am dealing with them in the best way I can, head on and sober. So when a person I don't know and doesn't know me, says I am going to fail, because I don't believe in God, I took exception to this.

I mean I don't believe in the tooth fairy either, does that mean I cannot get sober unless I change my beliefs and start believing in fictious authority figures ?

I was angry to be in his company, I look back over my life, both Sober and Drunk and I have always chosen the people whom I mix with. I could smell urine on some people and here them talking about getting wasted in the mornings and I thought, this isn't me.

I got angry not just at him, but the situation and of course proving I was "normal" had 2 drinks to prove I wasn't an alcoholic.

The fact is, I am not falling around drunk at all hours of the day, but I do have a drinking problem and I have chosen to refrain from drinking so that problem doesn't get worse.

Maybe I was trying to over compensate for support, instead of getting quality support I so desperately need.

Am I drinking now, I wont lie anymore, Yes, but I am not drunk.

I havent considered it, but Sir, I will now. Thank you.

I am sorry that you had that experience, aloneatlast.

LBrain mentioned Rational Recovery and AVRT; have you looked into those techniques/methods. While AA has been great for many people, it is not the only game in town.

I had a guy in AA tell me the same sort of stuff once. I told him I was a Buddhist and left him with his mouth hanging open as I walked away. ;)

I have just been looking at The Crash Course On AVRT it seems very promising and I think it time to shake up the destiny tree and try again.

Can I just say a big thanks to everyone for not judging me, it may seem small but I really do appreciate it. TY

I wish I had a comeback like that. :You_Rock_

I would suggest that some of the things you mentioned (not drinking at all hours of the day, not falling down), as "yets." I've done some things while drinking that I never would have predicted before they actually happened.

I am sorry that this experience you had with this person made you got back on your resolve to not drink anymore.

However, I feel I do need to point out that I don't think its fair that you judged some of the other AA members present at that meeting.

We are all lucky not to be at that point where we are drinking in the morning and don't bother to take care of ourselves.

Careful, not trying to come off as rude but if you keep drinking you may find yourself in similar predicament.

josharon, I was doing so well. I cant tell you how happy I have been sober and I went along to AA with an open mind, just seeking extra support. I have a genuine heartfelt desire to stop drinking alcohol. My life is so much better sober. I do not want to keep going down the path of drinking my life away.

Forgive me, I did not want to sound like I was judging them.

I only felt I was being sorted, picked and packed in a pre-made box, which I felt I did not belong to. I was not judging anyone or trying to be aloof.

I'm sorry you had that experience, but I think it would be a real shame if you let one guy put you off AA or make you fall back into old ways.

I was always very affected by what people said to me too, but in time, I learned to trust my own judgement again :)

Not everyone you meant in recovery will be a saint. Stick with those people who have the qualities you aspire to :)

D

I am so lucky that I didn't have to put up with any of that nonsense. An oldtimer saw me not saying the serenity pray (because I don't know it that well) and asked me if I had issues with the higher power concept. I said no, but I am an athiest. He said, "don't let the higher power stuff scare you off."

Some meetings are just better than others.

Dee74, for two weeks I had made a commitment to myself to stay sober and not drink again. Almost everyday I tried to post something positive to look back on and reflect upon to help myself and if possible others too.

I do not know anyone on this forum, but I can relate to little of everyone and I have drawn so much strength from SR, that I could have gone on sober indefinitely.

My family are supportive, my friends are understanding (true friends anyhow) and my sobriety was really helping me be better at work.

I went to AA, for extra support, not because I really needed to because I may drink again, but only to add a different perception on being sober. I found the message of some group members incompatible (shall we say), with where I found myself. I know people have said "Yet", but the disappointing thing for me was I feel I could of maintained my sobriety if I had not been in that situation.

I wont make that mistake again.

I've had some pretty vicious aggressive and insulting things said to me over the years too alone - keep moving forward in your recovery and you will learn to take those on the chin and disregard them - because you'll have a superb sense of who you are :)

Nothing anyone says or does to me can make me drink anymore :)

D

I wish I had met someone like you at the meeting, I mean it, you talk a lot sense. Thanks:You_Rock_

I need to go to sleep before I drink anymore, take the hit and keep moving forward sober.

Thanks Dee74 and everyone
:thanks

Tomorrows a new day :)

D

Good for you. Have a good night.

I've heard people say that if you like everyone you meet in AA, you aren't going to enough meetings. Remember, the person who said that is another sick and suffering alcoholic. Many who haven't had a drink in years have yet to grow spiritually (which, of course, has nothing to do with belief in "God").

I'm sorry you drank over it, but this experience is a good illustration of the power that resentments have in their effect on alcoholics. We just can't afford to have 'em (or at least not to hold onto them).

So I'm glad you are not giving up on sobriety. Keep your eyes on the prize, and soon you will learn to discern who is worth listening to in meetings and who is not. All opinions and "guidance" that is offered in AA is not equal in value. I've heard a lot of garbage spouted in meetings, people who play "doctor" by claiming someone who takes prescribed medication isn't sober, unscrupulous types who hit on newcomers of the opposite sex, etc. Remember, AA is full of sick people, the majority of whom are working to get well.

So...why dont you...
 

...ask DEE to be your sponser ?

You may be 1/2 a world apart...but you speak the same language !

Just a thought.

Dave

P.S. If you dont...I will.

See you tomorrow Alone. :)

I hope that you find AVRT useful, aloneatlast. It really "clicked" for me when I read it. After 25 years of drinking just the "Bullet for my Beast" slideshow/presentation was all I needed. Sober now for 2+ years.

The important thing isn't that we never fall, it's that we're prepared to get back up again. You just have to rise once more time than you fall.

You can do this, aloneatlast! You don't fail unless you quit trying.

how's things today aloneatlast? hope you are ready to continue forward without drinking

Do you not see the incongruity of this. A stranger says you can't get sober (for whatever reason), so you drink. To what, prove him right?

That's the "thinking" problem that recovery, such as AA, seeks to solve.

I'm confused here. Head on and sober involves drinking when someone says something we don't like?