how many times did it take????
 

I cant really believe it, after such a good happy week I just drank a bit on Fri and shedload last night.... Why why why.... Well I know,why, my oh wanted me to drink with him, and then was surprised when it lead to so much.... Although after 20 years of the same thing happening in not sure why he is,surprised.... Our so looked forward to night out was ruined, we argued horribly, he was so ill andblamed me for not being able to stop, says I need to grow up and move on.

But my real question is this, will it ever end, will I ever be able to stop.... Or am I trapped in this cycle forever! Has anyone actually made it to sober after so many false starts, or have I doomed it to failure???
I feel no hope... Finally the change has not happened.... I have failed.

Can anyone give me hope????

Sorry for such a downer.....

What have to tried to do, in order to quit?

I have actually tried three times and the third time stuck. The enjoyment was gone, the daily withdrawals became unbearable, and my health was failing with inflamed liver. Once you get a health diagnosis all the B.S. Stops. You either stop or die in the not so distant future.

My first try was 2010, second in 2013, and did it so far in 2014.

I lasted 10 days in 2010, 7 days in 2013 and I am almost four months in 2014. Stopped at 32 years old.

Hi there. I am sorry you are feeling so down, it is normal after a bout of hard drinking. I can't answer your question because I am fighting the same battle. But I do know this, you are not doomed to failure, success is always possible and is always worth fighting for. You have to keep trying.
About your partner, I have found that most non-alcoholics do not understand the problem and no matter how many times you try to explain it they aren't going to get it.
I wish you luck.

Hi, I'm sorry :( I'm back on day 1 again this is the third time since I joined SR. It's disheartening but you have to draw a line under it and keep going. Do you really want to stop? Does your OH understand what this means to you? Have you got any other support? (((hugs))) I'm taking my slip yesterday as a lesson learned, not to be complacent. The past is gone and no point beating yourself up about it (like the saying goes - only look back to see how far you have come..) but definitely learn a lesson from it and make a new plan. You can do this if you really want to :)

Hey Enfinthechange, Sorry it was a rough time. I'm glad to see you're here though. This was a bump in the road. Don't let it turn into a complete detour. Big hugs for forward progress.

Thanks guys, I need to get out of this hotel room, get home and make a,plan. Stick to it. Involve my oh, maybe tell my parents.... I just dunno...

You need to get to the point where you are more scared of continuing to drink than scared of life without alcohol. Are you there yet?

There ya go. Change it up. Adopt some things that have worked for others.

That's it, Mavis! I'm glad to see you here, too. Way to hop right back on the bus! :)

Enfinthechange, I saw a post where someone (with more sober time under his or her belt than me) mentioned that part of their plan included posting at least 5 times a day on SR whether they were really feeling into it that day or not.

It's something I'm trying that's helping to keep me focused.
You've already made some big strides. Be kind to yourself!

Yes and I have been sober for over 2 years now. Not easy but I was finally ready to get off the merry-go-round. Which is exactly what it is. To me false starts are trying to find our footings and our mojo. I had good intentions, just couldn't execute due to I didn't know how to stop or I didn't really want to stop. I would try over and over again and for me I just wasn't quite there yet. But just because I wasn't at the time doesn't mean I wouldn't get there. I did.

You have not failed. And as long as you are posting and reaching out and trying, that is not failing.

Please don't lose hope, you can do this, you really can. If I can, so can you.

Sorry to hear about your rough time, ((()))) do you have a plan of action that you can stick to when you feel a craving ? A lot of people on here step up their efforts after a bump in the road, could you do that ? I've read so many times here that you have to have really good concrete plan.

This is an excellent point. To stop drinking is one thing, to stay sober and live sober is something else. I personally needed direction because I would stop drinking and then be like "okay now what". So I went to see a drug and alcohol counsellor, best thing I ever did.

Enfinthechange
Yeah, just having a little doesn't work for me either. I'll have that and then want a boatload. Because I drank to get drunk. There was no other reason to do it. Your AV will tell you otherwise but you both know what will happen. Because you drink to get drunk.

That's a really good idea to involve others in your goal. It helps when the going gets tough and makes it more real to you.

Just remember one thing. No matter how many times you have to start over, Never Quit Quitting!

I have had a good number of relapses, and now sober. You are NOT doomed to always be in this cycle. You simply aren't. Get up, dust yourself off, and try again. You can do this.

You can stay sober. You can choose sobriety and live a deeper, richer, more joyful life.

It is not too late and it starts today.

You must make that choice fully and without reservation.

And you must take action to support that choice. Some of the actions may be uncomfortable and difficult at first, but if you take them anyway, you will find that you will leave this awful feeling behind.

It took lots of times for me. It doesn't have to be that way though. The point is i finally stayed sober up until today by not ever giving up. I also got a lot of inspiration from the example of others.
I felt at times that i would never 'get it' , that the odds were against me, that i was too old, too young, too far gone.....etc
Today i am sober.
I still don't find it easy at times or that it comes naturally.
But I AM sober and for that my gratitude is boundless.
You can and will stay sober if you decide that enough is simply enough.
Period.
G:)

Your OH isn't being supportive, in fact is sabotaging you by wanting you to drink with him. But you had a choice, and you both knew where it would go.

Do you want it enough to be so focused on sobriety that nothing he says influences you to drink? Because he will try if nothing changes. That's his thing, not yours.

I never succeeded in quitting until I realised it had to be total and for life.

It took many attempts and many failures for me to achieve sobriety.I could always stop drinking,but not stay stopped.

I once went 3years sober,then drank again for 17more years,that told me I couldn't do it on my own.Despite huge reservations about AA I became desperate enough to go to an AA meeting,I have been going ever since and never needed to pick up that first drink.

I know my Alcoholism wants me dead,in the meantime it will settle for me being drunk,I have to remain vigilant all the time.

Literally hundreds. What I needed to learn was willpower alone wasn't enough, that realisation is what made the difference.