Thank you for this post! I'm feeling so stupid with all of these recent false starts at sobriety. I'm fighting my impulse NOT to post here, because I believe this will ultimately help me to quit for good.

This is my second attempt at quitting. My first was about 6 years ago and I stopped drinking for about 9 months. When I started drinking after that, it was very casual and very gradual. My husband (who is a normal drinker...he may look for a beer but if there isn't the kind he likes, he'll be like "oh, but we have Coke, I'll have that." Whaaaat?!) was initially skeptical that I had to stop drinking, but since finding my hidden alcohol stashes all over the house MANY times, he has come to believe that I have a serious problem.

Sorry for rambling, but my point is that I'm going to keep trying, and recalibrating my approach, and finding ways to handle stress that don't involve drinking. I believe it can be done, and the ultimate failure would be to just stop trying.

Wishing the BEST for all of us as we keep fighting the good fight. :)

I haven't had wine since September 12 (my drink of choice) BUT I continue to have a beer or two or three here and there. I had two last night. Why? I don't know. I don't even like beer. So, I know that I have made "progress" but I also know that I NEED TO STOP IT ALL. It's so pointless and damaging-to me and, ultimately, to everyone around me.

I'm saying all of this to let you know that you are NOT alone in your struggle. Many of us are in the same boat but it doesn't mean that we can't do this! WE CAN! YOU CAN! Hang in there and keep coming back.

Intervention got me into the doors
of recovery back in August 1990. My
last drink was August 10th and my
1st full day sober was August 11th.

That has been a good many one days
at a time sober for the past 24 yrs.

With knowledge of addiction taught
to me and tools of a recovery program
to incorporate in my everyday life, it
has kept me sober with no desire to
pick up a drink and want to die.

With some Willingness, keeping an
Openmind and add Honesty in the
equation then you can achieve many
AWESOME Gifts in the way of AA's
Promises as stated in the Big Book
of AA.

enfin,

The change cannot happen until you are able to make the commitment to stay sober no matter what. That means telling your husband you cannot go out with him if there is drinking involved. I couldn't eat in restaurants that served alcohol for almost a year, it made me too uncomfortable. There will be a time when you can be around alcohol socially, but initially you will have to choose sobriety first.

The depression you feel isn't because you are incapable of sobriety, it's because you don't want to give up the things that sobriety requires you to let go of. Sobriety requires sacrifice, change and 100% commitment to happen.

I was unable to make that commitment until I tried every other possible option. It wasn't until the only choices I saw left were suicide or sobriety that I chose sobriety. I have not had a drink since 2009 - you can do this, surround yourself with others who have successfully quit, seek their advice and companionship and do what they did.

Good luck!

You can use this as a learning experience. What would you do differently in a similar situation to stay sober? Or what could you do to prevent the situation entirely?

Some ideas may include talking to the important people in your life, explaining that you are quitting drinking and asking for their complete support. You may have to explain that you are going for 100% abstinence and that drinking at all always leads to drinking too much for you. Could you ask your OH to not drink around you? To not keep alcohol in the house? Or to not ask you to drink with him?

Then you have to examine your own approach. You say he was surprised that you drinking a little bit lead to you going overboard. But what were your own expectations on what would happen? Did you think you could just have one? Or did you know where it would lead? What is more imporant to you- drinking because he is looking for a drinking partner or protecting your sobriety because you know if you drink you will go overboard?

What could you say next time he pressures you to drink? Sometimes even thinking through the words ahead of time helps. "No thanks. I quit." Or "No thanks, drinking always leads me to drinking too much." Or "Remember what happened last time? I think I'll pass." Or "I feel like a coke tonight." Plan out how to say "No."

A lot of people here talk about "playing the tape forward". When that one drink sounds tempting, you remind yourself that one drink will lead to another drink and another and another until you are too drunk, resulting in arguments, problems, hangovers, guilt, depression and being bummed about screwing up your sobriety.

I think a lot of people have to give sobriety more than one shot. Keep trying, keep learning and be willing to add on to your tools and skills for staying sober. You can learn from this, change your approach and use it to make yourself more successful the next time around.

I cannot thank you all enough, I don't think I have ever read such heartfelt, kind and real advice in my life. I feel very moved by all your words and feelings. Thank you all..

Understanding everything is like looking at a ball of wool and seeing the beginning of the wool and all the twists n turns...

I think/know my OH has the same problem as me.... but he never says he wants to totally give up. He is an unusual character in many ways, knows his own mind very well, yet struggles with the same issues as I do with the booze. We met drunk and it has been our hobby for 20 years! We do get on sober too of course and do lots and lots of fun sober things, but also have this horrid tendancy to loose the off button!

He may well be coming round to this way of thinking, but will never ask for help, or do online support...

I, however, think this place is the best place to get the support and encouragement I need to carry on....

Just as a side note, when coming back on the train we received a call that our son had been scalded by boiling tea and was in hospital with his grandparents... we had to go straight over, hangovers and all, and spend 5 hours in AandE waiting for the burns to be dressed... he is fine, but I feel this is an omen. My chiddlers need me, they need a good, strong, sober mum to give them a happy, secure life.

Thanks again people. Day 1 done again, may it be the last day 1!

Don't hesitate to post here as you go; it's great support and I've used it a lot. I hope your son recovers soon.

Enfin, lots of us have had false starts, slips, relapses, full stops, you name it, myself included. I've heard a saying around here and I think it's true: "fall down nine times, get up ten." You are NOT trapped in this forever. Sometimes the OH is the last person to believe/understand what you're going through, especially if you've been together a long time, double-especially if they're able to drink normally. It's like a person who has never experienced clinical depression trying to understand why someone who does feels so depressed all the time. But it's not hopeless. You can break free from this misery. How much have you and your OH discussed what things are like for you?

Like Melinda, I'm on my third try. Nothing is guaranteed, but this one certainly feels different. Some try again and again and again for years, and others nail it sooner. Depends on a lot of different factors.

Oh gosh Enfin somehow I overlooked your most recent post. So sorry to hear about the little one! Grateful he's okay.

It'll end when you want it to end.

I tried so many times to drink, to stop drinking, to moderate, to only have one, to switching drinks, to blacking out, to thinking how I could buy wine from the same place for the 5th time in a week, to worrying my family, pals not wanting a night out with me, boyfriend looking at me in horror, hating myself, not caring, to caring I was a drunk, that I wasn't one. Thinking, thinking thinking always about booze. I just grew tired of all that crap being my every waking thought. I tried to keep drink in my life so bad and now I look back and wonder why.

I tried to be a drunk for years, everyone has there moment of enough is enough.

Wishing you well.

L x

I tried many times.

I think I joined about nine months before I quit.

I tried for about four months, off and on, to quit--with longer stretches each time.

After a handful of unsuccessful attempts, and with hangovers, self-loathing, and anxiety getting increasingly worse with each binge, I have not drank since November 20, 2012.

Keep trying. There really is not a good alternative. It's worth it. :)