Could this be true???
 

I just got an AA sponsor with 30 years of sobriety. She (obviously) is still very involved with the program. I asked her why there aren't more people with long-term sobriety (5-30 years) in AA and she said "why do you think?" I said "I don't know....are they all dead, drunk or locked up?" And she said "look at YOU. You had almost 6 years, stopped going to meetings and relapsed, didn't you?" :-(

Could this be true? Are all sober alcoholics either dead, locked up or in AA?

She DID say that IF there is someone who is "dry" they are miserable people. Restless, irritable, discontent, depression, anxiety etc etc.

Thoughts?

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Oh for heaven's sake...

I've been in recovery for 14 years and I'm still here.

I think whenever someone makes blanket statements about groups of people, you should probably step away and get some other information on the subject.

Re-read that sentence, and and knowing what you know about SR and the people here, think of how absolutely ridiculous it sounds.

14 years Anna! You have no idea how much hope you just gave me.

Completly agree with Anna and Scott !!!

I have heard this also in AA, and do not agree. I have met people who got sober without AA, using other tools, who are not "dry drunks." AA is not the ONLY answer. There are many roads to spiritual growth, many paths to growing as a human.

I love AA (please keep that in mind as you read my post). I think this attitude really damages the experience for many people. There are people who grow weary of AA meetings for many reasons, but that doesn't mean that they disappear into the abyss of alcoholism.

AA is a support group. It has a spiritual component. It is not the exclusive end of the journey, but is a path.

I've also heard people say that it is selfish to stop attending meetings, that folks with more recovery should stay to help newcomers. There are also many paths to service in this world. Supporting newcomers on SR is a rich and rewarding service. Helping folks in the community in myriad ways (not just addicts or alcoholics - but kids, elders, animals...) is meaningful and satisfying service.

Many people leave AA at some point and get more deeply involved in their church, their career, their family, their community. Maybe they visit once in a while. Maybe they are done.

When people say this ("this is the only answer. if you leave you will either die or end up institutionalized.") - that is when AA sounds like a cult. It is a threat, designed to frighten. It demoralizes people and turns them off.

Personally, it wouldn't work for me to have a sponsor who believes AA is the ONLY path to joyous, healthy sobriety. I need someone with a larger vision.

Haha Anna. You're funny. BUT....are you happy? Do you feel like you fit in? Do you have friends? Were you REALLY an alcoholic? According to my sponsor if you are/were really an alcoholic you couldn't be. :(

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Another question...Also Anna, are u in AA?

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Well said, Heartcore. SR is a place where some of us who leave meetings decide to give back. I also volunteer at the local women's shelter. AA is not the only place to give back your time... there are myriad of choices to pick from!

Why would my sponsor with 30 years of sobriety say that then???

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Exactly what are you agreeing with?

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No, I have not used AA.

Yes, I was a real alcoholic. I came very close to dying.

Yes, I have friends, I have family close by (children & grandchildren). I have a full and happy life. I dance, I do yoga, I meditate, I read.

As to why your sponsor would say that?? Do you believe your sponsor is the ultimate source of knowledge about alcoholism? I suspect your sponsor is a person in recovery, an alcoholic who tries to help other people, period.

I don't believe that. That just is not true.

Serenidad, That's a sweeping generalization - and not at all helpful.

This is me: Drank 30 years - in the end, drank all day every day. Realized I was going to die if I didn't quit. With the help of SR I am 6 yrs. 9 mos. sober. Yes, I have friends - and I'm not miserable, dead, locked up, or in AA.

People say the darndest things - they may even sincerely believe them - but it doesn't make them true Serenidad :)

D

I find AA to be enormously helpful. My uncle and grandfather, two of the most raging drunks you would ever want to meet, both had/have thirty years in the program. It worked for them, and it's keeping me sane. I have friends outside of AA who are very supportive, but the people in the meetings understand my particular disease and it's vital that I have the camaraderie of people who have been where I am. As to your sponsor, that person is just a human being like the rest of us, with opinions that may be true for him/her, but not for everyone. Find your path.

Gang, lets remember this forums rule:

Dee
Moderator
SR

Well that's good to hear! Im glad you are doing so well. I'm not sure why my sponsor would say that but I don't like it! It makes me feel trapped...like a cult or something. :-(

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I completely disagree with your sponsor.
I attend AA, and the one thing that makes me question my continued attendance at AA meetings is the people that go around with that attitude.
I am allergic to militant ignorance.
I go to mtgs to see friends and be there for someone else coming in the door who needs help.
I know plenty of people who got sober and went on to live happy, healthy, fulfilled lives.

I grew up with a religion that told me that unbaptized babies went to limbo and people who take their own lives went to hell. Oh, and ALL the other religions were lost to eternal damnation or whatever......
I got over that nonsense too.

I repeat, I go to AA meetings and have worked hard to change a lot of my ways.
I never question anyone's recovery method.
My father quit after a huge showdown with family, police, doctor and the public.
He hasn't taken a drink since. In the 20+ years since, he has gone through a tragic family accident, cancer, heart bypass, deaths etc.
85 years old now. He would not even hear what was being said in an AA mtg.

If it was a cult we'd never have the er... 'robust discussions' we do here between AA members :)

I wouldn't discount AA over one persons opinion anymore than I would discount SR over one post.

Ultimately of course it's your decision.

If you do leave AA I'd find something to replace it before you leave, Serenidad.
I think you need to give that some thought?

D