What did you learn yourself in your almost six years sober?

Why do you think your 'sponsor' would say something like that?

What the hell is a sponsor anyway?

I'm no expert here but, maybe you should try finding a new sponsor. One that you can relate too.

Your sponsor is wrong. Period.

A lot of people seem to use sweeping generalizations when it comes to alcoholism. I used to talk to someone who was sober for a number of years and still went to AA. I guess he was trying to be my sponsor? I was drinking heavily at the time and don't remember exactly what forum I met him on. He told me how he almost died a bunch of times, and that it is impossible for an alcoholic to stop drinking without help. He seemed sincere but I wasn't ready to stop, so I eventually ignored his calls. When you're half way though a bottle of vodka you don't want someone checking up on your drinking status.

Impossible without help? I found that discouraging.

I will try this again.
AA is wonderful.
I love AA.
AA is not the only way to get sober.
It is a great source of support for someone trying to get sober.
It is also a great way of staying in touch with other like minded people who wish to stay sober and enrich their lives by helping others to do the same.
If I tell you the only way to get fit is to run.
You cannot consider any other form of exercise.
You must run.
How does that sound?
I don't like fear based recovery, fear based politics or fear based religion.
Live, and let live.
I will probably attend AA for a long time.
I believe I can never safely drink.
I believe if I ever forget my alcoholism and think I can drink safely again, I will be in dangerous territory.
The very best of luck and respect to all.
:bus

More AA half truths....And I am a member!
people are people. Just because she has long term, don't put her on a pedestal and anoint her queen!

Serenidad - AA is not for everyone and I'm included in that group. I have been sober with the help of SR alone for almost 5 months. I think there is an element of people in AA who believe that AA is the only possible way to find a peaceful and fulfilled life sober. I certainly do not agree. SR is an amazing source of support. Those with longer term sobriety on this forum may/ may not participate in AA but I certainly respect (aspire to!) the sobriety of the numerous SR members who do not belong to AA. That being said I did learn a great deal through the time I spent in AA. Do whatever stops you picking up a drink!

There are many good things about AA but sad to say there are also folks active in AA who are sober AND miserable. I've witnessed them at some of the more undesirable meetings, They sure seemed Restless, Irritable and Discontent to me. Only you (the individual) can identify what "dry" really is...

Your sponsor sounds like a bitter person who responded to you inappropriately with cynicism. I frankly don't think she has any business being a sponsor with that attitude. IMO

There are as many opinions about AA and ways to approach and use and believe in AA as there are people. Don't let one person's view and experience convince you otherwise.

I know a lot of 20-30 year sober AA members. Also know several who had 5-10 years and relapsed and made it back to the rooms.

Also a few who never did make it back.

Use AA and other tools in whatever manner works for you to have a happy, sober, meaningful life and don't sweat the differences of opinion.

Certainly consider them... Give them an honest look to see what applies for you or what you might learn, but then make it your own recovery.

In one sense she is right. The vast majority of people that quit AA are drinking, in jail, or dead but this is not an AA exclusive. Exactly the same thing could be said for SR.

The sad reality is most people who try to quit drinking don't. The ones that do are the ones who are willing to do whatever they have to regardless of the path they choose.

I am a huge AA fan but many in AA see it as the only way what is simply not true. They can not see the bigger picture because their view is exclusively AA centric. Even Bill W said AA was not the only way.

IMO when ever we stop working on our recovery the old behaviors creep back in and will eventually lead us back

All I know is I'm not dead or locked up as a result of my Sobriety!!

. . . and things have been looking up in life ever since I parted ways with alcohol!! :)

Ain't that the truth. Screw all this deep thinking

Because your sponsor is merely a person, and each person has their own opinion. I disagree with her opinion categorically, what is your opinion?

I'm coming up on five years now and I'm not miserable or in AA. :)

there are people, Serenidad, who get sober, adopt the AA program and then stay sober and do not go to meetings anymore.
not everyone who incorporates the program into their life feels that meetings are necessary, not to themselves nor to pass on "the message".

and then there are people who get sober in other ways and never set foot in AA and are not locked up or restless, irritable and discontent. people who are out there living their lives with or without doing other sobriety-stuff. i know some of them.

to suggest that they were/are THEREFORE not alcoholics is disingenuous and arguing backwards.

what anyone gains by what seems like fear-basing participation is beyond me. AA says it's based on attraction. what you report your sponsor as telling you doesn't sound attractive to me. it's not what i'd want for myself.

I have met a lot of old recovering/sober alcoholics in AA. Just a few nights ago, I met a 85 year old. I have not met ANY old practicing 24/7 alcoholics - you see you die before you get old if you are a practicing alcoholic.

Some people stop drinking, slowly get their act together, get progressively happier and never look back.

Some people need to apply the AA program daily to progressively get better and get happier.

Which are you?

Time will tell. :)

I go to AA, but I go there for me. I listen to others' insights and share my thoughts when I feel the need. Occasionally somebody is truly helped by something I've said, and that feels pretty good. There is no recovery Bible, and no such person as a recovery professional. In the end, we are all fallible and could bend the knee to our addiction any time. My recovery is my own, I'll do what I have to to stay Sober, take what I need from here and my meetings and leave the rest.

Bunnez

My guess is that a significant number of (the millions of) people who've stopped going to AA for one reason or another manage to stay sober on their own. The inertia of positive momentum goes (no pun intended) a long way.