Razorback I just looked at your June 2012 plan thread...you're October 13 plan thread...and now this one.

The fact that you "must' stop drinking for "awhile"...well, you are still struggling to accept this thing has its teeth in you. This is addiction. Plans are great...but unless you radically accept that this thing is enslaving you, manipulating you, conning you, feeding on you...oh geez...hon...

When you gonna throw up the white flag?

The major problem I had practicing, was the breathing. (woodwinds also) It had gotten so bad, I couldn't keep my phrasing if my life depended on it. By the time I finished the piece, I felt like I needed an oxygen mask.

I can tell I'm making a little progress when I don't feel so winded. It's definitely more enjoyable and not so much work. Stay well Razor.

Peace,

michaels

Did it. Feel exponentially better starting Day 3. Went out to the beach to see the Supermoon at 5 am (THAT wouldn't have happened a few days ago)! Walked 1/2 my daily dose of walking, downed my juice and shake. Now taking an Antabuse as I'll be going to this all-day seminar, probably with a reception at the end. I'll take a sparkling water, sir!

Still doing great on Day 5! I did take Antabuse Saturday, and indeed, they were serving wine, which I didn't have. But I might have otherwise. Then yesterday I went down to a town they call "Little Saigon," where I bought this beautiful Vietnamese pants/tunic outfit. I felt very huge (wonder how I gained those 20 lbs, hmmm) among these little Asian women, and that sure added incentive to stay AF. It was a fun adventure, I walked around and looked at all the Vietnamese stuff, the mystery items in the food court at the mall, then drove (that kept me from drinking too) the 40 miles home. Felt the pull of my favorite bar, but did not go in.

Today I'm meeting with someone who's helping keep me on track career-wise (this self-directed, nebulous career stuff makes me go off the rails). We usually have wine. I'm taking an Antabuse and saying right off that I'm not drinking for the rest of the year. This major event in my life happens in December, and career possibilities and PR stuff is escalating fast. I need a clear mind (and a few lbs less) to take advantage of this amazing opportunity.

Found a book for my Kindle called "Alcohol Lied To Me," which I found inspiring and useful. As I'm feeling better daily, I'm embracing the "do what you can today" attitude. I used to run six miles a day. Today I climbed on the treadmill for a 30-minute walk. I feel bad that I'm not up to running. But I did SOMETHING. And felt rather proud of myself afterwards. This isn't easy, especially since so many bad habits have evolved along with the drinking.

I heard from one of my former happy hour buddies that the general manager at the beachside resort/bar we favored wants to "get rid of the locals" (there's yellow neon sign over the entrance that says "locals welcome"). We've all spent a small fortune there. But I know at least one guy gets drunk and weepy around other patrons and has fallen into a planter, another brings a drooly, shedding bulldog "service dog" in that sheds everywhere, and God knows what terrible behavior the rest of us have exhibited. These are almost all accomplished professional people -- one has two PhDs -- but I think that must contribute to the attitude of entitlement there. We all dress like crap and look like dumpster divers; this is a very expensive hotel. Anyway, hearing that kind of helped.

This isn't exactly easy. But it's not impossible either, and there's quite a reward for doing it!

Still going. Still feel sucked into bars and liquor stores, but I podcasts loaded on my phone for those times. Helps.