I needed a sponsor to work the steps and needed other alcoholics at the meetings to keep me sober. The foundation of AA is one alcoholic talking to another.

I've found listening to tapes (there's an AA app) is incredibly helpful. Also, this blog is great: Heather Kopp. She takes a Christian point of view. Her book is also excellent.

I may go to meetings one day, but right now my anxiety won't allow it. I've got 4 severe mental disorders and I literally feel sick at the thought of sharing my vulnerabilities with other people in a room.

I can do it here because I'm anonymous, but not in real life...not yet.

Thanks Lala! I will definitely check her out.

Keep doing what you are doing but keep working toward real meetings. You do not have to share anything and the gifts are amazing. Be careful because alcohol wants you alone

Don't I know it Wakko. Luckily, my hubby is wonderful support, so I'm not completely alone.

So ITCHY! I think I shouldn't have drank that energy drink earlier...

Just took 1mg of melatonin...no cravings, but restless, very restless.

Thanks lala, I bought her book for my kindle last night, and read a good chunk of it before going to bed last night. Very sobering story.

Doing great!! Your positivity shines through x

Congrats on your sober time Heart! :You_Rock_

Thank you guys so much!! Support is so important, and it's keeping me going!

Checking in on Day 17!!! Despite having a nasty cold, I'm feeling really good. Got my Life Recovery bible and workbook today, and can't wait to dig in!

I spent last night looking for more recovery stories to read. I picked up The Glass Castle, and A Million Little Pieces. I finished reading Sober Mercies on Monday, I think? I just started Drinking, A Love Story.

I think it's good for my recovery to keep reading these stories, scaring me straight they are lol.

I also got the Life Recovery Bible and Workbook the other day, and I'm getting into it a bit. I think I'm going to start on the Recovery devotionals, and start my steps. I plan to go through these very slowly.

All in all, I am doing fantastic. At day 19, I still have not had one craving. I've noticed that I have a lot of nervous energy, and find myself going and going, and then I look at the clock and it's almost bedtime. Not sure how long this will last, but I'll take it for now.

InsaneHeart, All in all, I am doing FANTASTIC, at day 19? Darn right you are FANTASTIC. Rootin for ya. :egypt:

Congrats. That's wonder work. Stay strong and focused, as you may know it's easy to get tripped up once the novelty of not being wasted all the time wears off. But it sounds like you have a solid plan.

Thank you so much. This made me smile :)

Thanks Less. One thing I've learned from reading all the posts on this forum, is that if you don't have a plan, you are sure to fail. I can't have that. I want my sobriety so much, and I plan to keep it.

Mini epiphany...

I am not depriving myself of alcohol, I am rescuing myself from it.

Go me.

I joined an email based AA Meeting for women. They send out the meeting topic on Sundays and people can respond with their shares at their leisure through the week. I shared for the first time today (last week I just read others shares to get an idea of how it works), and it felt good.

I think this was another good step for me. Day 22 sober!

Day 24 sober...still feeling great. Doing my daily devotionals. Still on the first step, but I want to do this slowly. I know that recovery is a lifelong process, so I am no rush to get through the steps. I'm just so thankful that I'm still doing well. I don't feel deprived, I don't have cravings yet.

My first real test will be in a couple weeks when my friends have their annual Halloween party. Everyone will be drinking, except for my husband and I. We'll see how I do.