Hello all
 

I don't even know how to start......I have been a practicing alcoholic for the last 4 years.....though, I can think of many times in the past that I showed the classic symptoms since the age of........oh....birth.

When I look back on my life it was average, like most middle class families are. But I grew up feeling I would never live up to my parents.....low self esteem.

I am add, which was not addressed in my childhood because my parents were dealing with my brother who was add too.(very violent)

I went to college....eventually. I was raped by several men. I was drunk at that time, by my choice(being drunk). Before that happened, I had a gpa of 3.8.

I met a wonderful man. Unfortunately, for him, I married him. I guess it was a moment of clarity for me.

I managed to keep things in order........had two wonderful children.....lived a good life, keeping my damage under control....until 4years ago....

I no longer had the kids to keep myself busy......nightmares.....oh, the nightmares...

So. I AmMe.

Welcome AmMe glad to have you join us :)

Hello and welcome :) you've come to the right place if your looking for support and advise to stop drinking. There's people from all walks of life and all at different stages of recovery here - all with something insightful to offer you.

Have you stopped drinking or planning to?

Hi AmMe, welcome. This is a great place. I had bad nightmares when drinking. And in withdrawals. I think the alcohol had a lot to do with mine. Everything is much better without the alcohol. Best wishes to you. Stick around. :ring

Hi IAM, welcome. This is a great place to start, many of us are struggling, it helps to know you are not alone.

Hello AmMe. A sad and scary story and brave of you to share it so honestly. So you are here. Do you have any plan for getting sober? A method/model or approach to it all?

Welcome to SR AmMe :) x

Hi, good luck with your demons and we want to help.

Welcome AmMe, lots of support here :)

I'm sorry for the bad things in your past AmMe but I'm really glad you've found us :)
Welcome :)

D

Welcome to SR AmMe!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

:welcome to SR! You've come to a good place for support. :hug:

Thank you. Do I have a plan? Nooooooooo! A couple of years ago I went into rehab....I went out of rehab with a great expectations...I would go out in my world and do well.....do 90 meetings in ninety days.......meet a sponsor, do the steps and all will be good. Do everything they said.....After 6 months, I went back.......now, I only aggravate my family once a week. I plan it.... Like a vampire feasting on my family. And, the rest of my week making excuses for my actions. No, I don't have a plan.

Thank you. You really make sence.

what is the plan?

So, what do I do now?

Make a plan?

Thank you for the quotes.

So, I know that I cannot control what I am doing anymore. I can go for a week or two......but I give major excuses when I can't. I see the disappointment in my husband's face and my kids too. They are doing crazy things to keep tabs on me. I just want to live life without thinking that alcohol is the only way.

Maybe AA is worth another go now that things, and you, are a little more desperate?

Or maybe other recovery programme might be a better fit?

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

D