Hello all
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Dallastown, Pa
Posts: 14
Hello all
I don't even know how to start......I have been a practicing alcoholic for the last 4 years.....though, I can think of many times in the past that I showed the classic symptoms since the age of........oh....birth.
When I look back on my life it was average, like most middle class families are. But I grew up feeling I would never live up to my parents.....low self esteem.
I am add, which was not addressed in my childhood because my parents were dealing with my brother who was add too.(very violent)
I went to college....eventually. I was raped by several men. I was drunk at that time, by my choice(being drunk). Before that happened, I had a gpa of 3.8.
I met a wonderful man. Unfortunately, for him, I married him. I guess it was a moment of clarity for me.
I managed to keep things in order........had two wonderful children.....lived a good life, keeping my damage under control....until 4years ago....
I no longer had the kids to keep myself busy......nightmares.....oh, the nightmares...
So. I AmMe.
When I look back on my life it was average, like most middle class families are. But I grew up feeling I would never live up to my parents.....low self esteem.
I am add, which was not addressed in my childhood because my parents were dealing with my brother who was add too.(very violent)
I went to college....eventually. I was raped by several men. I was drunk at that time, by my choice(being drunk). Before that happened, I had a gpa of 3.8.
I met a wonderful man. Unfortunately, for him, I married him. I guess it was a moment of clarity for me.
I managed to keep things in order........had two wonderful children.....lived a good life, keeping my damage under control....until 4years ago....
I no longer had the kids to keep myself busy......nightmares.....oh, the nightmares...
So. I AmMe.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
Hello and welcome 
you've come to the right place if your looking for support and advise to stop drinking. There's people from all walks of life and all at different stages of recovery here - all with something insightful to offer you.
Have you stopped drinking or planning to?
you've come to the right place if your looking for support and advise to stop drinking. There's people from all walks of life and all at different stages of recovery here - all with something insightful to offer you. Have you stopped drinking or planning to?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
Hi AmMe, welcome. This is a great place. I had bad nightmares when drinking. And in withdrawals. I think the alcohol had a lot to do with mine. Everything is much better without the alcohol. Best wishes to you. Stick around. 
to SR! You've come to a good place for support. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Dallastown, Pa
Posts: 14
Thank you. Do I have a plan? Nooooooooo! A couple of years ago I went into rehab....I went out of rehab with a great expectations...I would go out in my world and do well.....do 90 meetings in ninety days.......meet a sponsor, do the steps and all will be good. Do everything they said.....After 6 months, I went back.......now, I only aggravate my family once a week. I plan it.... Like a vampire feasting on my family. And, the rest of my week making excuses for my actions. No, I don't have a plan.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Dallastown, Pa
Posts: 14
So, I know that I cannot control what I am doing anymore. I can go for a week or two......but I give major excuses when I can't. I see the disappointment in my husband's face and my kids too. They are doing crazy things to keep tabs on me. I just want to live life without thinking that alcohol is the only way.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Maybe AA is worth another go now that things, and you, are a little more desperate?
Or maybe other recovery programme might be a better fit?
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
D
Or maybe other recovery programme might be a better fit?
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
