I'm waiting on doc to get back to me.I am getting in as soon as I can.He specializes in alcohol and drug abuse.He will know more on what I should do in regards of meds.Thanks for the reply's:)

IMHO you will know you are a normal drinker when you have an aversion to alcohol. Only an addict would put themselves through what we have and even think of picking up a drink again. It's a enigma within a paradox wrapped in bacon. You will know you are a normal drinker when drinking again and sticking your head in an industrial fan are equally difficult. Just my thoughts during a paws manic episode.

You are right Silentrun,
Well day 2 in the books....

You have a great attitude with looking at it as a needed step. Most people who are in recovery for long periods agree that this is a step everyone takes. I took it, I was sober a few months, and then thought.........."Hey, I can control this now, I obviously did the last few months". I was back where I started in less than a week. Good lesson though, one I think everyone needs to learn the hard way (like most lessons in life unfortunately).

Thanks nighthawk,
I feel like that it is nessesary for me to know this with certainty in order to strengthen my sobriety.I think I am on the right path to a sober life,just may be a few bumps in the road getting there.Just wish my brain would heal up and give me a freaking break on all the negative moods.whatever I'm going threw paws,withdrawal,midlife crisis lol.In time I suppose it will all work out.

Earliest is next Thursday for doc...not sure if I can make it that far without $@%~£ng up!
My lack of planning is biting me in the butt now.

There is always time to make new plans Stubbs. A good start would be to plan out today to include some non-drinking activities. Early on i found that making an actual calendar/schedule for myself was helpful. I have a very regimented schedule at work, so I applied the same logic to my time away from work. I literally listed by the hour what I planned on doing from the time I left work until I went to bed. Not sure if that would help but the worst case scenario is that you get some things done you might not have.

It's just the depression and anxiety and lack of motivation that is killing me.Other then that Im doing fantastic! Lol,It's just going to take time to rid all these negative feelings away.I am counting the days down to when Inget to talk to my doc.Inthink he will put me on some antidepressant for a little while.
I am not one to really like taking a pill everyday to make me happy.But what the heck I was taking Vicodin and beer to make me feel good so whatever he says I am going along with...:)

Just keep in mind that there is no magic pill that the doctor can prescribe to make your depression and anxiety go away. Many of them actually can take several weeks to even begin having an effect. So while it's a great idea to see him, plan on doing some hard work yourself on getting back on track, even if meds are prescribed. Developing a routine, eating better, getting exercises, all can make a big difference.

Thanks Scott,
I've been on them in the past a couple times.But I drank on them and they didn't seem to work to great.I just need something to take the edge off.

Day 5.feeling slightly better also.its been a month since my original quit date with one relapse 5 days ago.my body and mind are coming along...

Stubbs , thanks for keeping us updated . Posting , accountability is key . Wishing you well

Ill fight this beast till I die,Just hope I can wear him out in time.

Woohoo! Day 5.. you are building those days back up again. Keep going! =)

These weekends are killing me...I slipped again!

Stubbs..what happened?

Was working in yard and cleaning pool and that's where it began.Just start thinking man it's a beautiful day out and a beer would just hit the spot.I am weak when I am outside or working around yard or in house.I tried to fight it for a little while but gave in.I only had a six pack and didnt even really get a buzz.I just feel like something is missing if I'm out by the pool or grilling out and I dont have a beer.This is where In NEED to learn how to live sober.I k ow I can enjoy these things sober but I just don't know how right now:(

I actually drink O'Doul's (non alcoholic) beer when the occasion calls for it. I had one last night when I came home from work and it hit the spot. Ocassionally I will have two ..but there is no desire for another. It works for me because a sugary soda is not appealing to me. I also drink a lot of club soda and lime cordial Both hit the spot on a hot day when I'm thirsty..and they actually quench my thirst rather than make me thirstier as alcohol dehydrates and then begs another. I dunno...I know some folks don't like the idea of NA beer...but I sure do. There is actually one I will have go to U.S. for (I'm 20 mins from border) called Erdinger. It's supposed to be tastiest NA beer out there..I believe its a hoppy type beer...kind you serve with orange slice. I look forward to trying it.
I get the taste of beer but no disaster.
It's a suggestion Stubbs...I know it helps me from time to time..cuz a pop just isn't what I want sometimes..or water.

You need to start a new thread. This one, entitled "Relapse," seems to be a self fulfilling prophecy. Call the new one, "I'm not ever going to drink again."

We alcoholics want to be gratified right now and nothing is going to stand in our way. Drinking is a fast fix for self gratification. Sobriety isn't. Don't expect to enjoy all your old activities sober right away. But if you stay sober, you will. First comes the sobriety, then comes the enjoyment. That's the order of things. Accept it, or continue to struggle and drink. And everytime you drink you are pushing the times you can enjoy sober farther and farther down the road.

Thanks for the advice,
I drink beer for the taste along with the buzz.fake beer I've tried and the buzz was missing.it would just lead me to real beer.i need to learn to live sober