Not feeling the conviction I need to go to the doctor tomorrow to get a new script to Valium and more codeine. That's if they give it to me. I feel like I'm just sinking lower and lower. Supposed to be on 25mg, max 30 a day but the last few weeks I've been doing lines hourly somedays. Up to 100mg a day. In public toilets, restaurants, at home locked in the bathroom. All time low today, at church. I've also started struggling with my eating disorder again for the first time in 12 months. Normally I swap one for the other, now it's both:( Have had 11 pills to last 3 days and feeling so so sick already. I have 2 left to sleep tonight and no codeine. Nothing. Not even kids phenerghan, I've searched the cupboards. Feel like its make or break time. I know I sound like a broken record. Just need to talk. Need courage for tomorrow if I get an appointment. |
Be honest with your Dr MLC. Totally honest. It's time to stop the rollercoaster before something bad happens. D |
Totally agree with Dee on this. The ride ends when you say it ends. |
I know what I should do. Need strength. |
You have the strength. You know you do. |
Take your husband with you MLC. I think you need some accountability to get over the hump and truly get started on true sobriety. You have already started to cut back and it will hurt for a little while to be sure. But you are heading in the right direction, don't lose the momentum. The next downward cycle could very well be the last....why not call it quits while you still have your family and your life....it's really that dire. |
He can't, he's at work. He said he is going to keep me more accountable again like he was before. Let it go for awhile there and I did ok but then yeah. Addict |
I agree that it's you who should be accountable. You do have the strength to do it, you need to just do it. We've all been where you are right now and know how scary it is, but you can do it. |
Originally Posted by Anna
(Post 3917201)
I agree that it's you who should be accountable. You do have the strength to do it, you need to just do it. We've all been where you are right now and know how scary it is, but you can do it. You don't want to do that? Ur not ready yet mid. You want to do that? pm me his number. I'll keep u accountable.:) |
Ok new doctor. Much stricter. Scary but good |
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis
(Post 3917268)
Ok new doctor. Much stricter. Scary but good |
He is a she |
111 11111 ;) |
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis
(Post 3917180)
He said he is going to keep me more accountable again like he was before. |
Yes I have more meds. She is weaning me off. |
I know this is going to sound harsh, but you are either ready, or you are not...ther is no inbetween...it kinda sounds like you are not quite ready for total honesty. Until you are, you will keep on using. If you will not tell your doctor you are an addict, you keep the door open. What is it going to take for you to close the door on addiction...your marriage, your kids...your life? |
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis
(Post 3917303)
Yes I have more meds. She is weaning me off. |
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis
(Post 3917303)
Yes I have more meds. She is weaning me off. |
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis
(Post 3917303)
Yes I have more meds. She is weaning me off. |
Originally Posted by Surlyredhead
(Post 3917308)
Does she know you are an addict? |
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
(Post 3917310)
That sounds like a good plan, she didn't think detox was necessary? Assuming you we're honest a out all the things and amounts you have been taking, right? |
Originally Posted by deeker
(Post 3917307)
yes but u r not weaning if u are snorting them every hour and doing 100 grams when the dose is 25. Did I read that right? |
Originally Posted by Surlyredhead
(Post 3917304)
I know this is going to sound harsh, but you are either ready, or you are not...ther is no inbetween...it kinda sounds like you are not quite ready for total honesty. Until you are, you will keep on using. If you will not tell your doctor you are an addict, you keep the door open. What is it going to take for you to close the door on addiction...your marriage, your kids...your life? |
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...er-dose-3.html You are doing 4x the amount u were doing a month ago.??? |
Originally Posted by deeker
(Post 3917322)
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...er-dose-3.html You are doing 4x the amount u were doing a month ago.??? |
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis
(Post 3917323)
Yeah maybe I'm not ready |
Originally Posted by deeker
(Post 3917326)
I don't believe u r? Why would you be going to a new doctor mid? She did say she doesn't think I'm ready to be completely off it when she saw my bleeding feet. |
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis
(Post 3917330)
My doctor left:(. Was just out here doing his country service. She did say she doesn't think I'm ready to be completely off it when she saw my bleeding feet. |
Originally Posted by deeker
(Post 3917334)
Was that good news for you? |
Originally Posted by Midlifecrisis
(Post 3917335)
Which bit |
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