What WON'T you miss about drinking?
 

I'm in one of those moods today like how you get after a breakup where you want to sit around with your friends and trash talk your ex, thinking about all the stupid things he/she did over the years. But today the ex is booze!

I will not miss hangovers. OMG, the lost days stuck in bed, feeling nauseous and dizzy. All the crappy "hangover food" I ate - greasy breakfast sandwiches or McDonalds - because I told myself it would somehow make me feel better. It didn't!

I will not miss blackouts. Seriously - the worst feeling in the world. Vague little glimpses of a night, spending the next day desperately trying to put it all together. What did I say, who did I meet? Did I call or text or email someone - better check my phone! Not remembering driving home, checking the garage to make sure my car is there and no new dents.

I will not miss talking to random strangers, getting all friendly and telling god knows who, who knows what. And even worse - the one night stands, waking up and thinking, who is THIS in my apartment? I'm lucky I never got raped or murdered.

I will not miss the wild mood swings, sobbing hysterically over something that happened years go, getting angry over nothing, picking fights. I almost ended my engagement one night while drunk, convinced that he "didn't understand me." Yeah, because he's not a drunk like me!

I will not miss random bruises, wondering what happened to me. I will not miss making a complete ass of myself in front of friends, coworkers and strangers alike. I will not miss hiding empty beer bottles when friends or family would come to visit. A few times I hid empties in my car and then threw them away at a coffee shop or dumpster, so my husband wouldn't see how much I'd had. Not proud of that one at all.

I feel like I could go on and on? What about you? What won't you miss about the drinking and using days?

For me, replace 'won't' with ' don't'.

I don't miss how my life was out of control, how alcohol came before my family and how I was slowly killing myself.

I don't miss the horrific self destruction.

P.S. my favorite breakfast on earth is at McDonald's.

ALL the above to the T!

I won't miss saying "just 10 more minutes" to my kids.

I won't miss the look on my kids' faces when they know I am making empty promises.

I won't miss waking up at 2am hung over with insomnia, fighting through a day of no sleep, and then feeling just good enough to do it all over again.

I will not miss recognizing that I am the butt of someone's joke, but being to inebriated to formulate a coherent defense.

I will not miss shuffling around a dark kitchen at 5am to get rid of all the bottles so I can pretend to be normal in the morning.

I will not miss the self-loathing and hopelessness that each morning brought.

Lying to people I love.
Wondering if the cashier can tell I am smashed.
Thinking I am OK to receive an unexpected phone call only to hear, "Have you been drinking?"
The disappointed look on my wife's face when she sees I am smashed again.
The possibility of getting a DUI.
Wasted hours being wasted and unproductive.
An overflowing recycle bin.

One thing I despised about drinking was the procurement of the wine. I HATED that feeling around 5pm of not having any wine in the house and then saying I need to run to the store for some "groceries" and then spending $10.00 a bottle for that poison. Now when I'm in the grocery store, I see other women (mostly women) with their wine in their cart at 5pm and think oh thank goodness that I don't have to do that anymore.

Smelling like a frat house
Fighting like a 'Real Housewife from New Jersey'
Being drunk enough to let that creepy dude put his hand on my knee
Paying my bar bill
The anxiety of a near empty glass
Drunk texts, emails, postings

Waking up at 3 AM unable to sleep, knowing that I am going to puke, counting the
minutes until it happens. Puking again and again (if I opt out of force-feeding myself more booze to quell the nausea) so that the capillaries around my eyelids rupture and create really awful red raccoon eyes that somehow need explaining to an inquisitive public.

Following this physical torture, the absolute worst anxiety and existential dread and feeling as if I am walking around in a living hell. Unable to do anything at all but agitate, move, maybe talk on the phone to some concerned family and friends.

the lying and deceit - trying to remember conversations with my wife and kids the following morning

Insecurity. Seemed it was getting worse with each passing day.

This is so poignantly true, and I never realized what a poor lesson in life it was providing to my kids when I uttered those same words hundreds of times.

When I heard my older daughter tell my younger one not to get her hopes up because something would likely never be a priority on our "later" list, it cut right through any numbness and broke my heart.

i wont miss asking my son to borrow money to pay the elect bill because i spent bill money on vodka and wine. Il have 60 days at midnight.

I don't/won't miss anything about drinking, anything at all, and I wont/dont miss the old me, the lying, cheating, deceptive, secretive, insecure, irrational old me, not for one minute

I don't miss waking up feeling like hell and hating myself.:(

Among other things, i won't miss spending 30 dollars on a bottle, drinking too much of it and deciding at the end of the night I am starting a new life and pouring the rest down the drain, only to repeat that process at 5:30 the next day when work ended and the hangover faded.

So funny that you would post this today, I haven't logged in here in a couple days. I am still staying sober (Day 23 today) and working my outpatient program. My homework today is to write a Good Bye letter to (My Drug of choice) Which is alcohol!

Thank you Alison for posting this. I look forward reading everyone's responses!

Not to be Missed in Sobriety

Lying
Cheating
Stealing
Fears of anything/everything
Physical , mental , emotional and spiritual bankruptcy
Loneliness as I need never be lonely again
My inflated ego which did me no favours
Humiliation as now I can be humble
Hopelessness as there is always hope in sobriety

Trying to pretend I didn't black out the night before.
Pretending I "feel fine" in the morning despite internal shaking, red eyes, horrible anxiety, and nausea.
Saying hateful things to the people I love.
Hating myself for "relapsing".... AGAIN.
Being "that drunk girl" in the bar.... not an attractive "drunk"... but, the one everyone avoids.
The look in my childs eyes when she sees the beer in my hand even though I swore I had quit... as she walks away to spend the night in her room to avoid me.
Feelings of terrible guilt, dispair and shame at my actions.

I won't miss berating myself in my car on the way to work.