Why do I cringe at the mention....
 

Of God, the serenity prayer.....any prayer to be honest. I want to get sober but I can't see how to do this without the program and this is always my stumbling block. Or maybe I just use that as an excuse. A wee friend of mine from the fellowship has just been found dead and it's a harsh reminder how serious this is

To me, God is the crutch that isn't there. I fail to accept the presence of a being that is so intensely caring for my well being that has never delivered my "soul". I still suffer the effects of addiction and that is a result of something I didn't ask for. A blood disorder, a chemical imbalance, whatever. This is not something I desired...it came with the package. Can't accept this God concept. I wish it were real, but not for me. Too many holes in the story.

When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did.

Big Book pg 52

I know how you feel, I have a hard time praying and all that comes with it. I fully believe in god I just am not good at praying I suppose. I read somewhere to just fake it til you make it. Do the prayers even if you just feel like you're talking to thin air. You'll start to notice a change and it will become more "normal" I have been trying it and it seems to be working day by day. Not all of us have the eye opening spiritual experience that others seem to and that's ok. We are all different and no one way works for all. In my humble opinion I would suggest that you just try it for a week and see if you notice a difference. Good luck my friend and my condolences for your loss. This is definitely a serious issue and one that can be beat 24 hours at a time with some work and faith. I hope this helps.

There's other secular approaches to recovery if it's a real sticking point.

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Good to see both you guys but IMO,and I'll be blunt:

there's absolutely no reason anyone has to suffer, or even die, because of something like not liking the Serenity Prayer.

If AA's not for you, find something else - if you can't find something else...try harder?

D

search:

AVRT
SMART
Rational Recovery
Women for Sobriety
Life Ring
Power to Quit

:)

If the thought of the "Serenity Prayer" as a prayer bothers you, try thinking of it as a meditation instead. The concept behind the prayer is very valid for many alcoholics. Essentially you are asking for guidance in being able to accept life on life's terms and not trying to control every situation, like we frequently did while ill. There is no requirement that you include the words "God" and "Amen."

I, for one, can attest to the fact that the seeming lack of control over everything in my life contributed greatly to my drinking. Frankly, it is the Serenity Prayer that has really helped me get to Day 26, despite some serious losses I've sustained lately because of my past drinking.

Also check out the secular alternatives to AA as pointed out in previous posts.

I am so sorry about your friend.

God talk rubs me the wrong way as well, and I'm referring to it across the board, not just with AA. The good news is, it's not necessary. There are options, as sugarbear mentioned. I like the ideas behind SMART - it comes from cognitive-behaviorism, which is a field I've studied in.

Thanks for your replies. I understand and can tolerate the serenity prayer to an extent. But the thing is there are good meetings close to me where that is said at the beginning and the 'lords' prayer is said at the end. It makes me want to walk out before the end, because it truly makes my blood boil, but I don't want to appear rude, and I like the people at those meetings. Ah well. I just don't know anymore, 6.45am here and yet again doesn't look like I'll be sleeping, which probably isn't helping the thought process...

Don't let the word God scare you off Eunectes. I am an atheist and go to AA but it is the language of religion I have a problem with. Yep, it makes me cringe too but I try to look past it. You can approach AA in a secular manner and just because you don't like the religious side of it doesn't mean you are banished to the secular alternatives. AA is for everyone. It is a god of your understanding and that can be whatever the hell you want it to be. I bet if you talk to people in your meetings they will have had a similar reaction to you, some of them may be religious or have become so and others won't. We're all different. People in the meetings I go to have often said how much the god thing bothered them when they first got to AA and many have stated that their higher power isn't a creative god... I am lucky in that they don't say the lords prayer where I am, and I bet you could find a meeting in Glasgow where they don't either.

This might help some: 12Steps

Imagine two friends who have a fight or argument, the good relationship they once enjoyed strained to the point of breaking, they crease speaking to each other communication is deemed too awkward, the friends gradually become strangers, such estrangements can only be reversed by reconciliation. To be reconciled is to be restored to friendship or harmony, when old friends resolve their difference and restore their telationship reconciliation has occurred 2 corthians 5: 18-19 declares. "All this is from 'GOD" who reconciled us to him self through christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.

I don't have a problem with the Serenity Prayer. I do cringe at the Lord's Prayer at the end. Just too Christian. I only pray to Jesus when I am worrying if my direct deposit will hit.

I know Bill W. wrote that the Lord's Prayer wasn't a contradiction in the "god of your understanding" thing, but what if a Jew or Muslim is in the room? It is clearly a Christian prayer and it rubs me the wrong way, too. It takes for granted that to buy into spirituality you have to have a Christian concept of a Higher Power. Frankly, it sucks.

But to the OP, don't let it bug you. Latch on to the positive things in the room at the meeting, the fellowship, etc. And as others have suggested, I think you don't have to stray far in the rooms to find others that feel the way you do.

I've been repeatedly among groups of people for other matters who held strong opinions vastly different than mine, and survived the experience without being overcome with angst.

You may have also. Like at a shopping center.

Just as you would not avoid a market that was full of people who subscribed to the latest end of the world certainty if you needed some parsnips for a stew you wanted to enjoy, you may have a personal stake in getting a leg up in sobriety important enough for you to bear being exposed to beliefs other than your own for an hour at a time.

Or you could try to convert them to your viewpoints, but that would make you an irritation and would probably prove out as a useless effort.

You could leave or practice tolerance, or continue to get ruffled...not sure other choices exist.

I like the God thing. Especially after he removed my obsession. That was a miracle.

Blessings,
Zube

I found reading 'Sober for Good' to be very, very helpful.

I'm a sober Atheist in early remission and found sobriety outside of traditional 12 step support.

There are lots of ways to get sober and the book I mentioned, delves into many of them. ( Including AA)

I'm an athiest (agnostic?) member of AA. When I first came in to the rooms, I had that same reaction. I made it a barrier to accepting and taking part in the program. The last time I came in (5/26/12), I was so desperate and I knew I would die eventually if I wasn't able to quit. I forced myself to be openminded and tried to squash any negative/judgemental thoughts about the program. I became willing to listen and tried to get something out of every experience.

A few things that stuck out at me. Someone said that when they came in the drink was higher than them. And that looking around the rooms, they could see that some people had a many long 24 hours put together (long time sobriety). So therefore, they drink was higher than her but that some of the members were higher than that, therefore making GOD (group of drunks) her higher power. I was able to use that idea as my hp at the time. Further, I was able to believe that I am not the highest thing in the universe-seemed arrogant to me. Not sure what is higher-an energy in the universe or something but not me. I also believe that the hp concept is one that evolves over time and does not need to be clearly defined at first (or maybe ever). Since I believe in the group of drunks, I think of the our father prayer as group bonding. I will admit that I'd rather say something different and I do not always say it-only if the mood strikes me. I don't have any problem with the serenity prayer, I just leave off the word god.

Again, this last time I came in the rooms, I was completely down and out. For my own recovery to work at all, I had to overcome a lot of anger which is what you are describing. It wasn't only towards the hp, I hated the happiness and gratitude I saw at AA. I thought it was fake. I hated the words sobriety, sober, grateful, etc. I hated the promises. Thankfully I put aside those thoughts, genuinely listened and did as I was told. I have been sober 7+ months now and have not been happier in as long as I can remember.

I cannot handle the religious aspect at all. It freaks me out as well. But as others have mentioned I make more use of it as meditation. Someone in a meeting said he doesnt actually say "God" grant me the serenity. But just skips the god part. Meditating to something bigger than yourself I find much more easy and useful. Even though I am freaked out because of the god aspect I actually have a copy of the serenity prayer hanging in my house because of the power of the rest of the message.

AA only asks the question if you are willing to believe in a power greater than yourself. I take it like this, if there isn't a power greater than myself, I would have been able to figure out this whole addiction thing and overcome it on my own, with no outside help. I would have been able to think my way out of it, as I tried to for many years. It probably wasn't going to happen. Not really realistic for me to be thinking that self-knowledge will solve my problems.

I don't think you have to believe in God to get sober.

I do believe you have to quit drinking to get sober, though. Whatever efforts that for you, Eunectes, embrace it.