Day 1 again! I"ve lost count of how many times I have attempted to give up drinking. My drink of choice is wine and it is usually around 5pm that I start drinking. What makes it even worse is that my partner is also a big drinker and neither of us are working so it's not such a big deal if we wake up with a sore head as we don't have to go to work. If we go out with friends or family, I will only have 2 to 3 glasses of wine, but when I get home I open another bottle to top up. I know that the wine is having a really detrimental affect on my health, as every morning my stomach feels like the lining is being eaten away. I've never sought help before, apart from this forum, but I am considering getting some assistance or counselling. I feel so ashamed though that I have reached this stage and I feel ashamed that anyone will know about my "secret". Yesterday I was very hung over so wasn't such a big deal not drinking last night. but tonight will be the gig challenge.....DAY 1! |
Wine was my best friend for a long time. I miss it. But it's toxic. I am in hiding myself, nobody who really knows me is aware of my problem. I'm in day 4 of sobriety and I hope to stay that way. Day 1 was rough...you can do it though. Good luck. |
Originally Posted by Rose2012
(Post 3689912)
Wine was my best friend for a long time. I miss it. But it's toxic. I am in hiding myself, nobody who really knows me is aware of my problem. I'm in day 4 of sobriety and I hope to stay that way. Day 1 was rough...you can do it though. Good luck. |
I'm trying to start today, but I find living alone is tough as there's really nobody to be ashamed from except myself. I left my wallet at home to help make it more difficult to buy any booze to drink. |
welcome back dragon - and welcome romando :) D |
Welcome both! The shame you are experiencing will slowlly disapear and be replaced with a feeling of pride, pride like you have not felt for long. Give it time and keep sober. Then tell us about how great you feel ;-) Easy? Not at first, but you have to want this more then anything |
Originally Posted by Thepatman
(Post 3690044)
Welcome both! The shame you are experiencing will slowlly disapear and be replaced with a feeling of pride, pride like you have not felt for long. Give it time and keep sober. Then tell us about how great you feel ;-) Easy? Not at first, but you have to want this more then anything |
It's normal to not want to stop when you know the pain of the first few days. Careful with detox, some need medical assistance and it can be dangerous for some. But like I said, you pass this initial hell and it's up hill from there. Happy you are here posting |
Much appreciated, Thepatman. I've gotta get some work done for now, but I'll get back on here in the afternoon when I usually start to feel the urge. Yeah, the first few days are the toughest but after that, it's a lot easier. So I guess I have to make that step first and then focus on the next part, which is just realizing there's no situation in which I can drink. |
Originally Posted by romando
(Post 3690037)
I'm trying to start today, but I find living alone is tough as there's really nobody to be ashamed from except myself. I left my wallet at home to help make it more difficult to buy any booze to drink. |
Originally Posted by romando
(Post 3690054)
Thanks a lot. It's encouraging to hear. The hardest part is hearing voices, anxiety and freaky visions for a few days when I do try to stop. I even didn't see my doctor last week because sometimes I feel I don't wanna stop. But as you said, it's always a much better feeling when you do. |
Originally Posted by dragon12
(Post 3690126)
Also, one of my triggers for wanting a drink is loneliness and boredom. I'm determined to start getting involved in activities that do do revolve around alcohol. Sadly. here in Australia, so many social outlets involve alcohol for people my age, so it won't be easy. |
Originally Posted by Rose2012
(Post 3690133)
This is exactly my problem, and I worded it the same "loneliness and boredom"...I live in an isolated area and have no friends or family. The only activity I see that revolves around no alcohol is studies, so my solution is to go back to school. I'm hoping I'll meet some people there who aren't interested in the bar scene...mind you, the school is in Montreal (Qc) where alcohol is a big part of the social scene...sigh. |
Rose2012, I'm a fellow Quebec resident, so I understand the dilemma. Beer is freekin everywhere. La belle province is half drunk! LOL! |
Originally Posted by Thepatman
(Post 3690149)
Rose2012, I'm a fellow Quebec resident, so I understand the dilemma. Beer is freekin everywhere. La belle province is half drunk! LOL! And yes Dragon...to get good grades, I will need my sobriety. I used to get way too involved in the social aspect of school. I'll just have to be careful and stick to coffee and soda water...scary to think of right now on Day 4. |
Yes, I think when it's tough if it's a part of the culture and social scene. I'm in Korea now, and it's so easy to access alcohol and it's dirt cheap. So it's probably not the best place to be! But if you feel lonely or bored, I've found after a few days, this feeling disappears. That energy takes a while to recover. I too tried eating like you and I'm sure the calories are still less than alcohol! Plus it's tasty. |
yeah wine was my daily dose for a long time too. Glad its buggered off and I dont have to pick up again. healing is a long gradual and wonderful process and it all starts with day 1, congrats and welcome :) I love dragons, just take a look at my nickname :D Kevin |
Originally Posted by romando
(Post 3690254)
Yes, I think when it's tough if it's a part of the culture and social scene. I'm in Korea now, and it's so easy to access alcohol and it's dirt cheap. So it's probably not the best place to be! But if you feel lonely or bored, I've found after a few days, this feeling disappears. That energy takes a while to recover. I too tried eating like you and I'm sure the calories are still less than alcohol! Plus it's tasty. |
Originally Posted by nogard
(Post 3690266)
yeah wine was my daily dose for a long time too. Glad its buggered off and I dont have to pick up again. healing is a long gradual and wonderful process and it all starts with day 1, congrats and welcome :) I love dragons, just take a look at my nickname :D Kevin |
i have been doing day 1's for a looooonnnnggg time. get control now. i have bad rosacea and as soon as i have one drink my face is red or purple. how embarrassing. |
Thanks, yes I know I have to get control NOW! Alcohol does terrible things to the way we look, I have what I call my wine belly. Sometimes vanity is not such a bad thing because I would love to look as good as I did a few years ago. |
Hi Dragon, Me too on being a wine drinker. I started out with a glass or two not every day. It worked up to a whole bottle or more of my lovely red wine every night. I used to start drinking at 7pm, and it worked itself down earlier and earlier every day. Funny, I thought just drinking wine and not hard liquor was never going to be a problem. I did realize it was a problem, and I am glad I stopped. It's really hard, I still want to drink, but I know I shouldn't. Best of luck to you. I have not had a drink in 9 days. I do feel a little better, can think clearer. I hope you get to that point soon. Best wishes and all the best to you JunebugApril |
Originally Posted by Junebugapril
(Post 3690375)
Hi Dragon, Me too on being a wine drinker. I started out with a glass or two not every day. It worked up to a whole bottle or more of my lovely red wine every night. I used to start drinking at 7pm, and it worked itself down earlier and earlier every day. Funny, I thought just drinking wine and not hard liquor was never going to be a problem. I did realize it was a problem, and I am glad I stopped. It's really hard, I still want to drink, but I know I shouldn't. Best of luck to you. I have not had a drink in 9 days. I do feel a little better, can think clearer. I hope you get to that point soon. Best wishes and all the best to you JunebugApril |
Welcome Dragon and Romando, Day one is hard, but it gets easier every day. Wine was part of my nightly ritual as well, and like both of you my glass led to a bottle, and then a large bottle. Today is day 46 for me, which is the longest since having my son five years ago. On of you mentioned having a support plan in place, and I think that is really important. I saw a doctor when I first stopped, have attended an education series, and went to a few meetings, I have also been reading a lot if memoirs in recovery, and exercising almost every day. Today was a stressful day at work and rather than rush to get wine, I flew into the house with enough time to throw on my gym clothes and get to yoga. SR is a great resource, and you can get on here 24/7. Read around and keep posting, you will find lots of support and inspiration. |
I appreciate the advice and good to have people with many similar feelings. Most mornings I wake up feeling that I won't want to drink but by the time the afternoon rolls around and I'm heading home, I try not to think to stop myself. That feeling is coming again, so thankfully, I left my wallet at home. |
Originally Posted by romando
(Post 3690523)
I appreciate the advice and good to have people with many similar feelings. Most mornings I wake up feeling that I won't want to drink but by the time the afternoon rolls around and I'm heading home, I try not to think to stop myself. That feeling is coming again, so thankfully, I left my wallet at home. |
Plan failed... delivery is too easy of a temptation. The way of trying again tomorrow seems too easy. |
How'd you go, dragon12? |
I had a friend who died a few years back, he died sober with 43 years continuous sobriety. It took him 13 years in AA to sober up in the beginning. Dont give up. |
Sorry to hear that. I won't, just I'll try again. Just I'm not too sure what to do after I finish work. I have that feeling too much everyday. |
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