My wife and i made a resolution to not engage in family drama this year or any year. can not have a war if one side does not show up

Expect the kitten to love climbing the tree!! It makes for good pictures though.

I'm currently not speaking to my brother. (the only family i have left)
Stupid holidays.

...Could probably come up with constructive ways to fix this thing between us, but would rather stay mad for a while.

Still not drinking, though.
And congrats that you're not, either.
:c011:

I am not sure if it can be fixed or if I even want to anymore, I tried to make things right with both families and they chose not work on things together...so be it. When I get pushed to a certain point I become evil with my words, its very rare this happens but my sister brought it out of me last week...then I was mad at myself....sigh...

If these people have a negative effect on you, then by all means, distance yourself.
Work on you.
You deserve it.

Thanks Cas, I've always been the type who automatically think I don't deserve anything good in my life and I am working on changing that! Yes they have a negative effect on my life, such is life I guess, live and learn!

My evil mother used to say with contempt "you can choose your friends, but not your family". Wrong. I choose my friends, they treat me better!

My mother is in a class all her own. I look at that saying the same way, yes I can choose my friends thank GOD, cuz I sure didn't choose this dysfunction. Anyhow, I am most disappointed in all of this nonsense, could have been so different....sigh

Lola,
Cass is right, you deserve to be happy. A year ago I was hopping mad about something and drank more because of it, as I hadn't quit yet. I work harder at self control now....and a big part of that, is who I choose to be around. Family and holidays can really push our buttons.

I agree PL, my buttons are not that easily pushed, yet they find a way to do it...everytime!

Hi, Lola.

I feel for you - our closest relatives always know our weakest points and hit right on them. All my deepest scars in my soul come from my immediate family. Take care of yourself. You do deserve a good life, don't let anyone destroy this faith.

Take care.

Thanks blue.....and yes, my deepest scars revolve around them...

I relate to that. My deepest scars are all due to the family as well. These scars shaped my behaviour and attitudes for most of my adult life until I finally dealt with them. And the only way I could was to leave them all behind and start the healing process.

Exactly, this is going to be a long process, I have many many scars but I will work through them all.

Have you thought about therapy to help you along? I did over 7 years and in hindsight, it was very helpful. At first I hated it though, but when I finally found the right therapist, she helped me a lot. I also found spirituality helped me through it...I'm not religious but I have a spiritual side and I delved into that most of the time when I had the motivation.

I am getting ready to start a new job with new benefits and yes, I am going to therapy....I hope the couch is big and comfy!

That actually made me smile. Yeah, I'm sure I wore out my therapist's seat from all my problems, lol...I'm glad you're doing good things for yourself! I need to follow your lead! :)

I have spent years neglecting myself, tired of it, time to get myself in order otherwise I am no use for anyone else either!