Bah humbug
 

SO, my holiday season is just fab, my inlaws decided to disown us and I decided to disown my own family.....ain't life grand? Actually, I am "on a break" from my family, crazy people.....and I am sane..right?? LMAO!!! Anywho, my life has changed so much these past few years, I am trying to work on new traditions, but wish I didn't have too. The good news is I have remained sober! I had a planned to drink one night last week, while driving to the market, I thought I would get me one of those little boxes of wine and that was it, but ended up picking up what I needed and skipping the wine isle :) :) . I drove to where I thought an AA meeting was last Tuesday and waited for other cars that never showed up lol, SO....I guess maybe another time I hope! Anyway, I am TRYING to not be so pissed off this holiday season, but some days are better than others. Love to all my SR folks!

Hi, Lola.

Great job. I think it's just ten times harder for you to stay sober in Italy, with all this fine wine around. I remember my trip to Italy during Xmas days, all this great food, wine... Aaaaa.

My best wishes to you. Stay strong and determined.

awe, midnight...I would totally agree with that :) I am trying to stay strong!

Stick with your SR family Lola :)

D

Lola, I'm sorry that it's tough for you now.

I hope you find some happy and fun ways to get through the holidays.

So I live alone with no family within a couple thousand miles my mom wants me to get an xmas tree I might just ttell her I did why would I want to stare at a decorated tree by myself? Hang in there.

Thanks guys....and Fitz, I remember not putting up a tree cuz I was so down in the dumps :(:(

I think it's great you skipped the wine aisle. :)
I have disowned my family completely actually, they were quite toxic and it affected me badly. I like the SR family much better :)

^ me too

D

Sorry you are having a tough go, Lola. Your twin is here for you! I'll be your punching bag if you'd like! :)

lol Fern.....no one wants to be on the receiving end when I start swinging. I just hate that I have to say goodbye to everything and everyone I've ever known, its part of gods plan for me I suppose, but it hurts like hell!

Glad you were able to pass up the wine:) This time of year is tough, lots of raised expectations about family. Hang in there!

Thanks PL....I was thinking that earlier, I need to lower my expectations for sure...

Though I disowned them all for good reason, I still mourned them as though they were dead. It did hurt like hell because it was all of them at once. I knew I could never allow them back into my life anymore, but there's always a part of you that only remembers the good stuff and you get nostalgic. It took me a while to release the guilt of doing that, but it was the best decision I've ever made.

Thanks Rose....that's exactly how I feel, I'm grieving them...but I need to let them go :(

Just remember it won't happen overnight. It's a loss, even if it is for the best. I disowned my family in 2004, and because my friends were also my sister's friends, they became collateral damage so to speak. So overnight I lost my family and friends, of course, it was my choice, but it had to be done. It took me years to work up doing it though. There were times I wanted to contact one or the other, but I had to resist, and now I'm glad I did. But you said you're making new traditions right? Building new memories...that's really a good thing! I haven't celebrated a holiday since that time, but I was actually thinking of getting a Christmas tree this year...maybe I'm ready to have Christmas again.
:)

Hi Lola,

You still have lots of people who love you on here, me being one of them! I am sorry things are tough right now. I think making new traditions and building new memories will help. Remember you are a strong and amazing mom.

Also, you skipped the wine aisle, and I know how difficult that is!!

Sending hugs. :)

keep your chin up you can do it:) hugs to you~~

Thanks everyone! Its really hard to let go of everyone and everything I have ever known :(:(, Thanks for the much needed support!

Lola sorry it is all happening at once around the holidays. It's hard to let go but sometimes it's the only thing to do. Stay strong!

Fitz, I always had a tree when I lived alone. I loved the lights, made things very cozy and comforting. This year I am trying to figure out how to have lights and a kitten at the same time lol

My wife and i made a resolution to not engage in family drama this year or any year. can not have a war if one side does not show up

Expect the kitten to love climbing the tree!! It makes for good pictures though.

I'm currently not speaking to my brother. (the only family i have left)
Stupid holidays.

...Could probably come up with constructive ways to fix this thing between us, but would rather stay mad for a while.

Still not drinking, though.
And congrats that you're not, either.
:c011:

I am not sure if it can be fixed or if I even want to anymore, I tried to make things right with both families and they chose not work on things together...so be it. When I get pushed to a certain point I become evil with my words, its very rare this happens but my sister brought it out of me last week...then I was mad at myself....sigh...

If these people have a negative effect on you, then by all means, distance yourself.
Work on you.
You deserve it.

Thanks Cas, I've always been the type who automatically think I don't deserve anything good in my life and I am working on changing that! Yes they have a negative effect on my life, such is life I guess, live and learn!

My evil mother used to say with contempt "you can choose your friends, but not your family". Wrong. I choose my friends, they treat me better!

My mother is in a class all her own. I look at that saying the same way, yes I can choose my friends thank GOD, cuz I sure didn't choose this dysfunction. Anyhow, I am most disappointed in all of this nonsense, could have been so different....sigh

Lola,
Cass is right, you deserve to be happy. A year ago I was hopping mad about something and drank more because of it, as I hadn't quit yet. I work harder at self control now....and a big part of that, is who I choose to be around. Family and holidays can really push our buttons.

I agree PL, my buttons are not that easily pushed, yet they find a way to do it...everytime!