Hypochondriac, I am with you...I am constantly right around the corner from the "f... it" moment! constantly. Booze is such an instant escape from everything. Two years sober and still it smacks me around!! Even though my life is so, so much better now. It is one of the reason I joined this site, to talk to people honestly. I had some great times drinking! And it nearly killed me a number of times, and nearly lost my family, and cost some friendships. How, then, with all that cost, and with all the improvements in my life, how in the world does the "F it" moments still haunt me? The power of alcohol, power of addictions.

it seems that relapse happens when one gives into their addiction. being aware of your AV is important, because if you can at least recognize what's going on, it's easier to avoid a relapse.

"f.. all this addictive voice stuff, i had a long time of sobriety and i'm having one drink because [insert reason here]" ... that would still be your AV talking.

if i have a drink it means i gave into my addiction... (even for just that one drink)... in reality i think there's no real reason to ever drink alcohol.

last chance this is an interesting post.
There are several reasons why I stopped drinking, which I think is probably true for many of us. And it's true that if the reason I quit is some tangible thing I want, it might not materialize, and that can give me an excuse to say, you know, if I don't get to have the sober life I envisioned, what's the point of sobriety at all?

I've been thinking about this a little bit, because of an unrelated issue I have going on in my life. I think sometimes it's best not to want things too bad.