Im getting drunk today
 

Its been an awful week now Im making it worse.

Found out one of my close friends had actually committed suicide and not just relapsed like I thought. I had a hand in talking him into rehab the last time I talked to him. He stayed sober awhile then took a ridiculous heroin dose on purpose to die.

While dealing with this realization..my wife has went psycho on me. She has big time anger issues. We argued 4 days ago. She was yelling screaming and threatening. I responded by not responding. We have not talked since. Its weird. I cant do all the talking like I used to while she shuts down and does whatever she wants. Its a very emotional situation I contributed too but did not create.

Im at the point where I am ready to walk.
But I look at my beautiful daughter and I cant bear to think of how she'll feel growing up thinking I dont love her. What a predicament.

I have nobody else and no outlet.

Im super angry about all this.

One part of me wants to go to the airport buy a ticket to somewhere and never look back. But instead Im gonna sit here get drunk and dream about it.

They are leaving for the day.

I know its not the answer.

But today its my answer.

Please wait, Think it through. Drinking is not going to make anything better.

So sorry to hear about your friend and your relationship problems Fallow :(

Feel free to tell me to bog off, but I sense that with you posting here first that maybe you want someone to tell you not to drink?

I'm the last one to give advice, but you know deep down you're not going to feel any better for it in the long run. Big hugs xx

Please give it a chance before you go through with drinking. Try finding the nearest meeting. Go there, raise your hand a share with others. You are not alone. There are others going through similar situations. I am sorry you are hurting, but remember Alcohol or drugs may temporarily ease the pain but after a couple hours you will be much worse off. You can get through this. Do you exercise? Can you drop down on the floor and do 1 push up? Try it right now, Try 5 if you can. It may help. It helps me. What area are you located in, I can find you a local meeting or phone number to call.
Hang in there.

Alcoholics Anonymous : Local Resources that provide A.A. Meeting Information

Fallow,
I'm very sorry about your friend and marital troubles. I think we all know that drinking won't help either of these problems and will impair your ability to work on solutions. Hugs.

So sorry to hear what you are going through. Try and think about how crappy you will feel after the drink wears off. All your problems will still be there. I wish you the best ((hugs))

Fallow, it sounds like an awful week. I'm so sorry about the death of your friend. And it must be very frustrating dealing with your domestic situation.
Feeling angry is understandable.
It sounds to me that what would help would be to lean on the support of some friends. Talk through how you feel with someone who understands.
Drinking will make you feel worse. That is a fact. Did drinking ever solve anything for any of us? Did any of us wake up/come to after a night of getting drunk feeling good about ourselves?
Be kind to yourself rather than self-punish.
We are here for you x

I really dont know why im posting here.

Mostly to document the situation for posterity I suppose.

I dont want anyone to tell me not to drink I know its up to me...
The tools are there.

Im just in the mood for a nice blackout buzz and a few cigarettes.

Ill deal with the rest of my baggage tomorrow.

Fallow...you have other option other than drinking. The fact you posted before you drank means you know you do.

Stay sober for this hour. Stick with us here.

I care and we all care about you.

What happened is defiantly hard to handle. I agree. But drinking will certainly put you in a worse spot.

Stay sober hour by hour please.

Yes Jeni it would be nice to have some friends to lean on.

Unfortunately I have none.

Ouch Fallow, You know you have friends here.

Get out of yourself and get to a meeting.

(I'm sorry if that sounds harsh)

I am no one to talk. I have messed up a thousand times and more.

If you have already begun to drink, you may not be up to leaving to go to a meeting.

Maybe a call to someone from the program could be helpful.

I am sorry.

Your daughter needs a sober Dad, just like my child needs a sober Mom.

You know I care.

We can start our day over at any time.


:grouphug:

Yeah, i've done the same, for different reasons. When we want to drink even as we are quitting, it really helps us to have things as frigged up as possible. I can remember thinking... man, if this isn't a good enough reason to get totally drunk, wtf would be??

Yep. Worked everytime. :(

I don't know your details, and it really dosen't matter if I do, because the truth is, nothing is worth drinking over anymore anyways, no matter the reason/excuse in my face.

The drinking won't bring you anything that you need, or even want after you get drunk, and things are still rotten, and getting sober again starts anew.

I'm sorry for your troubles. I hope you can do better than drinking. I wouldn't wish a return to drinking on anybody, you know?

Life is pretty crappy at times, overwhelming. But drinking might be An answer but it's not The answer. All the pain, sorrow will be there tomorrow along with a hangover & regret.
You can't run away & hide from life. It is always there in the morning.
I'm sorry your plate is so full but find a way to stay sober & keep your head in the game.
You will be happier tomorrow if you do.

You know I feel that way too sometimes, and will say I have no friends. But it is not true.

ISM

I separate myself.

There are lots of people that I could go and be with and be friendly with, but I hide out at home.

There not gonna come banging on our door. Seek and ye shall find.

Be encouraged Fallow!

I'll be quiet now...

[QUOTE=Fallow;3600440]I really dont know why im posting here.
Mostly to document the situation for posterity I suppose.
I dont want anyone to tell me not to drink I know its up to me....[/QUOTE}

Oh, I will not tell you not to drink. But I will tell you some tough words.

I suggest that you buck up now. And face that life is not easy. Life is not fair. Life owes you nothing. You are not a victim of anything but your current self pity. Self pity is the fast track to a drunken life that loses everything.

You are doing no honor to your friend's memory by drinking. You are showing no love to your daughter by drinking. You are showing no respect to us by posting you are drinking and saying you want no interventions from us.

We know you are hurting. But the answer is never to then join the crowd and hurt yourself!!

Stand up, go look in the mirror, and start being the person you know you can be. You define who you are. Other people and life's circumstances, do not. Now, get in the shower. And go out and focus on anything but yourself. And let us know later how you feel after trying that.

Ah yes, the tough love angle...

Hmmm. I wonder... ?!

[QUOTE=EternalQ;3600462] Strong words. I know that was for Fallow, but I might print this out and keep it with me. It's the sort of thing I need to hear too from time to time.

Oh yeah? you do?
Why is that?

Nothing is so bad that a drink won't make worse. I remember a few times when my idea of drinking a problem away ended up creating a few more.