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Originally Posted by ulverston
(Post 3381654)
hi bruno. we split but i think i could accept it more if she had died.. this is so painful for me it has has almost broken me one more hit and i will be completley done I know what you're going through I really do, Keep posting on here, We all care and it will help. Bruno. |
How are you doing too John? |
do you have any real life support Ulverston? D |
Originally Posted by CaiHong
(Post 3381296)
Hi John, Remember the pain you are going through when you feel like another drink. It is the alcohol that is making you "weak". I think when people are vulnerable they are at their most lovable, the pain is exposed and They are not hiding behind a lot of BS. I am not a huggy person but I would love to offer you a firm handshake. We are all in this together. Love CaiHong Then, I would give you a big hug :c031: |
thanks dee and bruno. yes i have aa and a sponsor plus some friends who understand what my situ is . but when i come home at night and shes not on the phone or with me...it kills me the lonliness i feel is awful... now i know she has really washed her hands of me and i dont blame her,it's all my fault,and i loathe myself for it she put up with my crap for 14 yrs she must be a saint... says somwhere in the big book that we alcoholics find the best women in the world...that was certainly true for me, god i wish i could go back 13 yrs ago knowing what i know now.. but you know what? we reap what we sow i only have me to blame |
Originally Posted by ulverston
(Post 3381938)
we reap what we sow i only have me to blame 1993 - I lost my job and my first love on the same day... came back smiling :) 2009 - Few years later, lost my job, then my mum, nearly drank myself to death for two years, 1 month in hospital, 8 months ago stopped drinking... and guess what... came back smiling :) Out of alot of bad, alot of good can come... life is sent to test us! You feel like $heet tonight, but you will sort your own head out, and you will come back a stronger person. Your girlfriend will then see what she has lost. xxx :ghug3 |
Originally Posted by ulverston
(Post 3381938)
thanks dee and bruno. yes i have aa and a sponsor plus some friends who understand what my situ is . but when i come home at night and shes not on the phone or with me...it kills me the lonliness i feel is awful... now i know she has really washed her hands of me and i dont blame her,it's all my fault,and i loathe myself for it she put up with my crap for 14 yrs she must be a saint... says somwhere in the big book that we alcoholics find the best women in the world...that was certainly true for me, god i wish i could go back 13 yrs ago knowing what i know now.. but you know what? we reap what we sow i only have me to blame It won't undo the past, it won't bring someone back - it might make you feel so despondent and sad that you start to think about drinking tho... you know the old saying...if you love someone set them free?...I never got that when I was drinking, but I do now... Ulv, I let two relationships go - I agonised for years about what I'd done and how much I missed both of them...but you know what?...it turned out ok for them...they found happiness - and if I really love someone thats all I can ask for. I'm not a martyr tho LOL - I found peace and happiness and even love again too, in recovery - and I made damn sure that when I gave my heart again it was a good, full heart to give - not a heart that half belonged to addiction. Give it time Ulv - I know it hurts now, but it won't always be like this...start picking up the pieces and doing what you have to to make you ok :) D |
:ghug3 there! I effed up too today! I feel like a loser. I feel I let God down AGAIN...BUT, instead of going and getting another drink...I am starting over AGAIN! |
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