no chat for me and i need help
 

Posting from a nook and palm phone...no java.

Posted earlier about relapsing. Starting to feel horrible. I get really needy when i quit drinking and now is no different. I hate this. Im normally a strong, capable man. Someone, please help.

It's the quiet time of the day but there's always people around John...:)

You can get through the tough times - I think we're a lot stronger than we feel we might be :)

I guarantee you won't regret not drinking either :)

D

Hang in there John.

So many of us know only too well what you are going through. It makes you feel very vulnerable doesn't it, especially when you are a strong capable person?

We have all got an inner strength, you will get through this and this is the hardest part remember.

Keep posting. We are all behind you xx

I k lw the feeling of 'needing' a drink, or a similar gratification, even though I'm not an otherwise whimsical person. I guess you just have to find something to fill the void... be it junk food, exercise, someone to talk to.

Or maybe that needy feeling is just a generic feeling of helplessness because you really want a drink but know you can't have one. Try taking a step back from whatever you're doing and say "it's not really a feeling of being needy, it's just my head tricking me into wanting another drink". Maybe that will help you realize you'll be ok after all, and it's just a passing feeling.

John-its not that your not a strong capable man, if you usually are-then you are! Its alcohol thats the a**, testing you every which way it can....i was like you this time last week, this exact time, i woke up and wanted sobriety so bad i was prepared to do anything..sober for a week...and feeling better than i have in years..sending you positive thoughts from the U.K. xx

SR is a good place to be needy John :) Welcome x

I think most people on here would consider themselves strong and capable but all of us have had our butts kicked by alcohol at some point.

You mentioned AA in another post...could you go to a meeting today? x

Thank you, all. Im looking for meetings now. Feel horrible. Want to cry my eyes out.

Contemplating whether or not to go to the hospital. Ive detoxed like that before...IVs, vitamins, atavan and serax, but ive only been drinking again for 3 days. I guess i should be ok.

Sometimes i think my fear of going thru withdrawal is worse than the actual withdrawal. Thats the main reason i drink now. I really get mothing else out of it.

This is probably true but do you know which is which? If you are worried I would go to the hospital x

Keep in there john. Technology is amazing you can talk to people all around the world who want to see you sober. My best wishes

It is amazing and i am grateful. Could really use a hug though.

It's just miserable and every emotion can be heightened.
But keep on ,see a Dr to help put things in perspective for you,or help if needed.
You know you need to stop and you have to now that soon life will be so much better without the drink not just less bad things about the drink , money health black outs relationship rows work etc but good sober you get yourself back but t needs you to go through the pain and confusion but it is so so worth it.
I couldn't have done it without this place but I have and my focus has changed at once that happens I guess you just have to never be complacent and avoid the drink.
It's well within your grasp that's why your here.
John.

*HUGS*

:ghug3 x

:ghug3 Here's another for you.:)

Hi John,

Remember the pain you are going through when you feel like another drink. It is the alcohol that is making you "weak".
I think when people are vulnerable they are at their most lovable, the pain is exposed and
They are not hiding behind a lot of BS.

I am not a huggy person but I would love to offer you a firm handshake.

We are all in this together.

Love
CaiHong

im going thru the same thing as you my friend ..it is disgutingly horrible.
add to that i lost my gf of 14 yrs
i want to break down and cry also.
but i did this to myself and i hate myself for it

Perhaps a change in attitude may help you John. Try thinking of this as a gift to yourself. :) A start to a new and meaningful life. Feeling pride and accomplishment is a great motivator! You can do this...think of the rewards.


Best Wishes To You!

Ulverston,

Has your gf passed away or have you split up?

Bruno.

John, do you want to pm or chat?

hi bruno.
we split but i think i could accept it more if she had died..
this is so painful for me it has has almost broken me one more hit and i will be completley done

Hang in there fella,

I know what you're going through I really do,

Keep posting on here,

We all care and it will help.

Bruno.

How are you doing too John?

do you have any real life support Ulverston?

D

And i would shake your hand firmly (my dad was a marine...i was taught early on to give a firm handshake).

Then, I would give you a big hug :c031:

thanks dee and bruno.
yes i have aa and a sponsor plus some friends who understand what my situ is .
but when i come home at night and shes not on the phone or with me...it kills me the lonliness i feel is awful...
now i know she has really washed her hands of me and i dont blame her,it's all my fault,and i loathe myself for it she put up with my crap for 14 yrs she must be a saint...
says somwhere in the big book that we alcoholics find the best women in the world...that was certainly true for me,
god i wish i could go back 13 yrs ago knowing what i know now..
but you know what?
we reap what we sow i only have me to blame

Not at all! You can get through this... and time is a massive healer of alot of things.

1993 - I lost my job and my first love on the same day... came back smiling :)

2009 - Few years later, lost my job, then my mum, nearly drank myself to death for two years, 1 month in hospital, 8 months ago stopped drinking... and guess what... came back smiling :)

Out of alot of bad, alot of good can come... life is sent to test us! You feel like $heet tonight, but you will sort your own head out, and you will come back a stronger person. Your girlfriend will then see what she has lost. xxx

:ghug3

Well thats one way to look at it sure...but does blaming yourself really help?

It won't undo the past, it won't bring someone back - it might make you feel so despondent and sad that you start to think about drinking tho...

you know the old saying...if you love someone set them free?...I never got that when I was drinking, but I do now...


Ulv, I let two relationships go - I agonised for years about what I'd done and how much I missed both of them...but you know what?...it turned out ok for them...they found happiness - and if I really love someone thats all I can ask for.

I'm not a martyr tho LOL - I found peace and happiness and even love again too, in recovery - and I made damn sure that when I gave my heart again it was a good, full heart to give - not a heart that half belonged to addiction.

Give it time Ulv - I know it hurts now, but it won't always be like this...start picking up the pieces and doing what you have to to make you ok :)

D

:ghug3 there! I effed up too today! I feel like a loser. I feel I let God down AGAIN...BUT, instead of going and getting another drink...I am starting over AGAIN!