Scared of AA meetings, am I a AA meeting snob???
 

Ok, I hope no one thinks I am too snotty for saying this, if you knew my current state, you would know that is definetly NOT the case. However, I want to start going to AA meetings, but it is so overwhelming the choices that are out there, it confuses and scares me. With that said, I have been looking into nicer area's that hold AA meetings, dare I say I feel I need to be around hardworking middle class people like myself? That sounds terrible I know as alcoholism is a disease and class shouldn't matter. I am worried and scared, there is a meeting in the small town I live in, but don't wanna go to that one because I don't want anyone knowing this about me right now.....UGH! When I pull up meetings there are so many different kinds, some are opened, some are closed, some are big book,some are for beginners, some are this, that and everything else in between! Waaahhhhhhhhhhh, I really hate this!!! Woe is Meeeeeeee.......LOL!:c029:

I don't think anybody walks into their first AA meeting because their life is at the top of their game.....Everybody is scared...For me...Ashamed...Terrified...Is probably a better word. Open meeting. You don't have to be a member of AA...You can bring a friend if you want....Closed...Members only...How to become a member....Have an honest desire to quit drinking.....Big Book...Goes through the book...Step meeting...Usually a step every meeting...It varies...Beginners....Might be good for you...Mens...Womens...They're all good. The fear will be gone when you walk out out of the meeting...All I felt was hope...I didn't have much when I went in....All you have to do is sit and listen...Talk to some people before and after..Tell them you are new...They'll take care of you...They are people just like you and me. Alkies.

Everyone is scared at first. The first thing to do is calm down and breathe. And don't worry about seeing someone you know at a meeting, because they are there for the very same reason you are and they will keep your secret just as much as they want you to keep theirs. that is why it is ANONYMOUS! What happens in those rooms stays in those rooms.

For your first meeting I would suggest an open meeting, because those are for people who aren't sure if they have a problem or not, or just people in general who are interested in the fellowship. Also you can take someone with you to an open meeting for support, such as a spouse or partner. I took my boyfriend with me to my first open meeting and after that I was okay going alone to other types of meetings.

Don't let everything overwhelm you. I know there is a lot of things to choose from and such, but just take it one day at a time. Any meeting is a good meeting! So just pick one and get there. :)

I'm not an AA person, but I think you should do whatever works for you in your recovery. :)

Why not be as comfortable as possible? Finding any type of crowd in AA shouldn't be too hard.

It dosen't sound snotty of you at all. It just sounds honest, dont worry about it, its okay to be wondering what is what with different meetings. You have really good suggestions above from Flyer and Sapling and not much more for me to add. Perhaps phone the local AA Inter-group or any AA local number and just chat with the member and ask first hand about different meetings in your area of choice where ever that may be, it dosen't matter its really just up to you.

Good luck!

Wouldn't it be cool if you did go and found
someone you knew, maybe in HS, or someone
you've seen in church or the grocery store?

To know they are there at a meeting for a
reason, in fact, the same reason as you and I?

To know you can walk up to them or them to
you and smile and say, hey Ive seen you in HS
and u reply, yes and i remember you too.

You start up a conversation, go for coffee, begin
sharing your story of why you and they are at
a recovery meeting because you both have some-
thing in common. An addiction to drugs or alcohol.

When i began AA 21 yrs ago, I didnt know anyone
personally. Then when i went to my first AA convention,
I saw several people from my hometown and my
first job. Never in my wildest dreams who'd i'd think
we had the same thing in common. And to know our
paths were meant to cross.

Anonymous part of the program stands for what you
hear or who you see in meetings stays there. How
comforting is that?

I went to a zillion meetings for 7 yrs till i relocated
and listened and absorbed all i could comprehend
of what recovery was all about and how those with
many yrs. sobriety continue to stay sober or clean
a day at a time for as long as they have.

I went to those meetings not for the social aspect
of it but rather for the support of the fellowship to
help me within my little family.

People knew i was married and there was no hitting
on me, but rather respect and they were there to guide
me along each day i went helping me stay sober.

In meetings I saw a sign that said Responsibility. I am
responsible for me and my recovery and it's up to me,
to pass on the knowledge of recovery to others still
struggling with addiction.

That is what im doing today and grateful that AA was
available to me 21 yrs ago or I would surely be dead
by now.

Somebody recommended the meeting I go to every morning...Said it was a Blue Collar meeting...I checked it out...It's right down the street from a homless shelter...Not bums...Just people that have drank or drugged themselves out of everthing they had...So we have from 40 to 60 people every morning...Half from there and half middle class working people with some long standing sobriety.....Always have new people coming and going...Makes for some fantastic meetings...Find one you like and make it your homegroup...Makes you part of something. I made that my homegroup on my second day there. Shop around...You'll know the one you like.

Yes, it IS scary, that is normal. I think it's called wandering out of our comfort zone? And from what I gather, we have to move out of that comfort zone in order to change.

None of us have class at an AA meeting. lol
Seriously, we're all there to stay stopped from drinking.
Get to any meeting and just sit and listen. Or start with listening to speakers online.
You aren't alone anymore!

I'm ashamed to say, I've left many a bar in a very inebriated state back in the day. I can say, I've never been ashamed to walk out of an AA meeting with my held held high for being sober.

I think you will be surprised at how much in common you have with people from different walks of life. I know I feel a bond with people that have the same disease as I do.

I agree, my guess is you'll probably feel quite a bit in common with whoever's there.

Meetings do vary quite a bit in quality though, so it's worth "shopping around" to find one that makes you feel at home.

I agree, my guess is you'll probably feel quite a bit in common with whoever's there.

Meetings do vary quite a bit in quality though, so it's worth "shopping around" to find one that makes you feel at home.

Wish I could add something but I'm guessing you get the picture. Everyone there has gone through the first meeting jitters. May I suggest an Open Meeting to start with? Good luck.

Hey there fellow Ohioian :)

I am up in Cleveland and been in AA here now since June. Love it wouldnt change going to that first meeting. :)

What interested me about AA was a feeling that there was a common bond which transcended all class differences, the brute fact that addiction knows no differences, the terrifying slavery brought about by chemistry simply does not care And so, like passengers in a lifeboat, saved from disaster, at least for the immediate future (hours, days, weeks, months, years or even a lifetime) the normal differences in life simply disappear. When you have seen their eyes and they have seen yours, you know that they have been where you have been their hands reach out to help or just to say that they are glad you've come. Here on this website it's the same way. We're glad you've posted your concerns. Do stick around and- good luck.

W.

Thank you so much everyone! I can't believe this is happening to me!

Wai till you go to a meeting...It's even better.

Better as in good, or OH GOD!!

Both...That's how people treat you there.

Oh Dear!

But don't get me wrong. AA meetings are not like in the movies. There are always some rough spots, meetings where you may feel a little uncomfortable. I've been studying not for profit groups for quite a while now, not only AA but all sorts of charitable organizations, even dog clubs (!!!). (Maybe the dogs have more sense than some of the owners!) Anyway there always seem to be one or two old timers who more or less figure that they run the show, or ought to anyway. So sometimes recovery ends up in being a sort of ego thing. It happens. People are human. And alcoholics are oh so human! So the best way to do it is to roll with the punch, take advantage of the good stuff and there's lots of that. If after awhile it's not for you then try some other program. Only one thing is important- never give up on permanent sobriety.

W.

I started out at a hall downtown in my medium sized suburb of Seattle that held 6 or 7 meetings a day since I knew it was there. Thank God I did! it really helped through the early days. I went frequently the first month, then backed off to one meeting a day. At 30 days I noticed all the commotion around. Finally, at 45 days I was bothered by the chaos, bitterness, attitudes, and complacency. I started to really question if being sober was going to turn me in to one of "these people." Of course there were some great people with great attitudes, but that was the exception.

Finally one particularly chaotic night I was asked to share and just said "my name is...I'm leaving now to see if I can find an AA meeting somewhere."

It's a nice downtown but it's similar to many others where the residential real-estate closest isn't the most prime and it's also split by the main BNSF west coast rail line- hopefully you get the picture.

I found a meeting in a church near my own neighborhood the next night and my program of recovery finally started. In fact, this meeting and those people connected with me. I could look around the room and see so many that had what I wanted. We're still a very diverse bunch, but for the most part we share similar goals and interests beyond sobriety too.

I could be called a snob for this, and probably have been...I really don't care. I will work with any alcoholic who asks for help so long as they are willing. I found a group that is supportive and close and gives me a pattern to model my life. To me, that's recovery.

You will know in your heart when you've been to a good meeting. I try to take newcomers to my two favorite so they can see how incredibly different two -very good- meetings can be and hopefully check out others on their own to find what works best for them.

Good luck. Some very nice people are waiting to meet you.

You should appreciate the fact that you have so much choice, and such a variety of meeting available in your area. Where I live, there are only 4 meeting a week in the city, and only 2 I can fit into my schedule. There are maximum 7 people at each meeting.

So count your blessings and go to a meeting...try them all if you like. Good luck :)

Hi

Good on you for giving AA a go. Excellent advice has been given.

I am starved of choice as far as AA meetings go.
It can take me all day and late into the night to get to a meeting but I manage to get there and am so pleased they are available.

I am on an extended holiday in Vietnam and found a meeting (thanks to Veritas) which I attended last night with the one other member.
We would ordinarily never cross paths but what we shared, the fellowship,is just magic to me.
I am coming up to 9 months sober with the support of both and AA and this forum, have never been happier.
My obsession with alcohol has been removed as promised in the BB.

I hope you find your solution.
CaiHong

Hi. I just wanted to say I dont think theres anything wrong with wanting to be with others like you. Go to a few meetings and I think.youll find that you have more in common with those you usually wouldnt mix with than you thought :)

I'm not pointing the finger at you, Smileyblue, your post just reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend a while back.

He is in the contemplation stage of sobriety at the urging of his fiance and a few recent very negative consequences. He still lives in the same smaller town that we both grew up in and said he doesn't like to attend meetings since the town spreads rumors and gossip so quickly (17,000 people in a rural area). I was trying to think of a good response to something that I could see as a fairly reasonable objection when he said it's too late when he gets home from work. I found out that he carpools with his fiance to a city 60 miles a way each day and there is a four hour differential in their shifts. He was a bit aggravated that I would suggest that he attend a meeting in another town while his fiance was still at work!

He still won't commit to anything but at least he knows now that he's not being honest with himself when he uses that excuse!

Thank you for posting, it is very brave to reach out for help. I don't think you sound snotty and the choices can be overwhelming. I was scared to death before my first meeting, and it must have shown, because as soon as I walked in, several of the ladies there came up to me immediately to make me feel welcome. That being said, maybe a gender specific group would be a good place to start. Good luck! xo

you don't live in Kirkland by chance? I got sober at lakeside milam and the Alano club in Kirkland. I live in north Carolina now and the recovery here is great, but I do miss the Seattle area. so many meetings!