Sigh. . . I'm still here, but drank this past weekend. I went to Pittsburgh, where I grew up, and stayed with my closest friend who I've known for 35 years. I hadn't been back to visit in a few years. She and I used to party together quite often. When we do see each other, it's like we try to recapture those times. She's a SAHM of 3, so she really only does this when I'm around. . . telling, huh?

I'm done counting days, it just makes me depressed to slide backwards. What I think will work better for me is to see big picture - over the past 30 days (since I decided to get serious about being sober), I've "slipped" 4 times. In my mind, it's a big improvement from drinking every night. . . rationalization? Perhaps, but it's what will work for me right now.

Hey Squisy and friends I have been reading your thread and I am glad that you are actively here and I hope the best for you. I have been sober 90 plus days now. (some folk stop counting after 90. I am just so amazed that after 30 years of attemps and a couple of treatment centers . I have put some days together. I also quit drinking when I was pregnant, but picked up again soon after they were born. Support from many places had been a huge help. I also knew that alcohol had me. I had to completely surrender, I could not control it. I couldn't drink once in awhile or moderately. I had spent the last few years completely whipped. I drank wine, beer and vodka morning, noon and night. I had nothing left. I somehow was able to keep a job, but have the summers off and this has given me a chance at beginning recovery. I hope to see my first sober birhtday in many years. The big 50 too. Uggh. My marriage is uncertain and really my whole life is very different. But 90+ days is possible and doable and so much better than trying to function day to day feeling all numbed out and awful. Thanks Squish for the thread. Its been active for a while and thats great.

Hello! Not to say I support the relapses but lets be honest - cold turkey in HARD. What's done is done. Learn why it happened - and next time you go you can be prepared. You'll know what will likely happen and can have your game plan going in. Sounds like you had a great visit though! (if she is such an old friend she might support what you're doing...)

It's very depressing to think it's day 1 again. I'm back on day 2. Knowing I'll go back to the 1 is another reason not to give in.

Question - I'm pretty new to this, but do you feel different when you go a few days without? Feels pretty good?

I really felt terrible for 5 days. I had my worst withdrawl symptoms at day 5. I had physical cravings for about six weeks. Those were the things I needed support in getting past. Now I well, I feel things emotions, physical things like being hungry and tired. So much happens when you sober up that you just can't give it a generalized term, and it is different for everyone, but this is where I am at now.

5 days - got it. Only 3 more after tonight!

The toughest part is the nights. Had dinner, saw family for couple hours. Now back at home. Too early for bed, no desire to read or do much. Husband wants to watch tv, not sure I can do that without a drink - don't think I"m ready to sit there. Need to keep busier. I'm going for a walk. Great distraction - exercise is good for us - new good hormones being released. Hope the rest of you are having a good night!

As unsettled as I feel in my own home right now, don't feel like drinking, just feel... off. Little bored and restless.

Good morning my friends! Preg how are you feeling today? LMgirl - good to see you back. I'm no stranger to constantly starting again, but we need to keep trying. I'm glad to see you are still here!

Lushy thank you for all the information and sharing on your success thus far. 90 days would feel oh so lovely. I've had an awful week of sleep this week. And I'm exhausted in the morning but still sober. :a122: I really wanted one last night. I had a really really bad day. My nanny quit who has been a member of the family for almost 3 years and I feel like I'm going through a break up! Its time for me to get the kids in day care full time, but I just wasn't ready. On top of that work SUCKS. ugh But I stayed clear.

I hope you are all sober for today and hang in there. Like lushy said first 5 days are the worst of the sleep. But we need to make the first 6 weeks for the cravings. STAY STRONG!

Hi everyone.

:( I don't know what I am doing. Why am I so lousy at this. I know I want to quit, but it doesn't seem to matter when I get home. My AV is too strong I guess. I don't know if I want to stick around here, makes me feel bad when I am sober and feeling so great and trying to give advice to peeps, just to fall off again. I feel like a hypocrite.

Sorry for for the sad note, but I felt like I left my friends and needed to check in :)
Should I try again? Stupid question I know... but I am not sure I feel committed to this. I am during the day, but once it get home I think I must turn into a different person or something...

WIGGLE!!!! You know what - we are ALL in the same boat. You try and try and try until you get it - you got that!? That's what we are here for. The alcohol and the addiction right now are controlling your emotions. Get back on the horse and let's keep trying. Get past the bad first few days and weeks. The important thing is that you want this and you keep trying. We are all here for you. Please post whenever you feel sad or happy. Let us help!:grouphug:

Riding out the waves in the evening after work are the hardest thing I know - you and I both have the "witching hour" after work. Just keep busy and see how good you feel in a few days I promise!

Oh thanks squishy for replying so fast, makes me smile. I do feel like I want to quit, today especially because of this damn headache. I fell off for 5 days, never had a hangover, then today a headache. Made me remember what I was trying for, and that I do indeed have a problem. Drinking everyday should not be normal - why did I forget this? Addictions are assholes, they really do take over your mind and take control. I don't like it.

I have done one thing positive though, I joined a new forum/group for mom's, and specifically I have joined a stepmom group. I need help and support big time in that department, and I am hoping that being able to vent and talk about those issues will ease some of my frustrations that lead me to drink.

Day one again. Anyone know if my witching hour of 5-7 will ever go away? What day are you one Squishy?

Unfortunately Day 4 my dear - that's why I said don't feel bad. We all fall off a lot but we need to find the strength to stay on. I slipped over the weekend, not bad, but enough to make me mad and pissed off at this damn disease. Handling the stress of kids and homelife is hard hard hard. My nanny just quit yesterday and my whole routine has just been turned upside down, but I did not drink! We need to understand that the pressures will always be out there, just find different ways to handle them.

I think by you joining a group is great! We all need to reach out and support each other - that's how we get by. The ones that don't have the most problems and can't seem to dig themselves out. I'm glad you reached out. :scoregood

What have you tried doing differently after work? How about taking the kiddos for ice cream after dinner?

Well I was trying to stay out of the kitchen. But it is hard because I have to cook. So I put the bottles out in the garage and asked DH to make his drinks out there (he has a fridge and freezer). He refuses though :( So my first attempt has not worked so well. Reading is the best for me. And I just started a great new book. So my plan today will be cooking something in the oven so I can get away from babysitting a stove or grill, and get my butt out of the kitchen. SD is going to moms today so it will just be me, hubby, cat and pup. I think I will plan a walk with pup after dinner since we finally got a break from the heat today. That should get me past the 7 o'clock hour and I will then get to work on my orders that I neglected last night due to booze. Damn booze. I made $100 yesterday in my online shop but didn't even know it.

I just REALLY want to make it through a weekend. I want to know what that feels like. Maybe I could reward myself if I can make it though my first weekend sober?

That's a good idea - but don't worry about this weekend. Worry about today. The reason they say this is because if you concentrate just on one day at a time, one day you look up and you have made it a week, month, 90 days. Sounds like you have a good plan today. Keep busy!

That makes sense. I will work on today.

I'm so glad this thread keeps going. . .

Wiggle - don't be so hard on yourself. This is HARD stuff. Why do you think there are so many people walking this earth with an addiction? Hang in there, stay online when you start to feel tempted. The first weekend I stayed sober (in July), I stayed on SR, chatted a bit and read posts. It really helped a lot.

This weekend is going to be HARD. I'm going to see my parents in chicago. They like to drink wine at dinner, and my dad and I used to go to this piano bar when I lived there. He's been looking forward to us coming because he wants to go. There's no way I can go with him without drinking, and I know he'll be really bummed. I hate to disappoint. . .

WIGGLE! You're back!!! YAY!!!! Ironic - we get headaches now when we don't drink instead of when we do!

Ohh stepmom group is GREAT support/distraction.

The witching hour - ohhh can it getcha! I'm finding if I can be distracted until 8:30 I'm ok = I get home from work around 6, make dinner, clean up, it's that next hour that is tough.

Welcome back Wiggle - Deep down I hope you know you're doing the right thing by being here with us. And I hear you on feeling like a hypocrit - I'm telling you to clean up when I'm only on day 3!

lmgirl - is it the steakhouse with the piano in front? I used to travel to Chicago all the time for business. I grew up in Milwaukee and I just love Chicago!

Weekends are hard. I'm lucky when I visit my family they don't drink, but my hubby's family does and they live here so its super hard.

I don't think that's the one - there's a big red-haired lady on the front, it's called the Redhead Piano Bar. It's very fun, and the piano guy is awesome. I love Chicago too, we lived there for just about 3 years before moving to FL.

Welcome back wiggle

Witching hours do go away - takes a little time and effort tho.

Don't give up :)

D