Wiggle - I love the new pic! :-)

Yes I'm moody - but more becuase I see my husband in a sober light and it makes me so mad sometimes. I am actually calmer with my kids if I don't drink. Its really weird...Its just better all the way around if I don't drink, so why do we? I don't know. There are chemicals in our brain that we need to overcome and it can be done, it has been done before.

Stay with me and when you get cranky - just shout it out here. I will listen. :-)

Glad you're back, Squishy.

this may just be my own experience but I'll share it anyway in case it helps someone.

I had to stop attributing my drinking to pressure/circumstances. That was really my alcoholic voice talking. It lends to the thought that there is a good/bad time to quit.

For an alcoholic, drinking helps nothing. It's ALWAYS a good time to quit. If you are having a stressful week, all the better. You'll be able to cope much more productively with stress if you're sober.

I had to make myself say "I drank because I'm an alcoholic. I slipped because I'm an alcoholic".

YMMV, of course. But that was my experience.

Have a great day :)

Thank you Sil - you are so correct.I know pressure has been my trigger for awhile. Why can't I just be addicted to running instead of alcohol!!! argh

Thanks for the support squishy :)

I am lucky to have my own room in the house with a lock on it if I need to get away from hubby and step-daughter. Which is also where my computer is... it always helps to vent, but my husband is worthless for that, so I thank you for the invitation :)

I think I need to talk to the hubs about my plan this time though... he doesn't think my drinking is a problem (and hey, right now it might not be) but somehow I have to make him see that I am serious. And to please keep the bottle OUT IN THE GARAGE. When it is inside it is far to hard to control the desire.

Well, I need to get back to work. But I will keep checking in everyday. Best wishes squishy, and everyone else on this journey!

next time you feel stress... don't focus on 'not drinking', focus on relieving the stress in another way. Go walk, get a cup of coffee, talk to someone (online or IRL) etc

It was significantly easier for me to stay focused on sobriety once I realized it wasn't deprivation. Those stress relievers I mentioned above are far more effective than alcohol was (big picture). Slowly, the wheel turns :)

Hey Squishy. Hope you are doing well today!

Just a quick check-in here, will be in later today. Day one went well for me except for fighting within myself between 5-7 last night. Then everything became calm again. I cannot wait for that couple of hours of fighting to vanish. It seems like hell, and that it lasts forever!

Hope to hear from ya on your day 3.

Hi Wiggles!!! I'm so glad you made it through the night. That wave that you and I have from 5-7 is awful isn't it? I came home and went on a run and then made a nice dinner for me and the kiddos (hubby wasn't home thank god). The week has been ok for me, but like I said its that Thur or Fri and I'm spent! I woke up today feeling good though and back on track with food and health.

I know those waves are hard, but can you do something else during that time? I'm not really one to talk here - but I try to find something to do just to make it to 7 pm and then I'm usually ok. I'm so glad you are here on Day 2!!! Keep going - we can be sober today. :grouphug:

Yay Squishy, glad to hear you are doing good. I am guessing your husband drinks? Mine does and doesn't really understand what I am doing, so he is of no help. I even put the booze out in the garage for safe keeping, and explained about my quitting, but he brought it back to the kitchen counter anyway. a-hole. haha.

And yes I had to do something else. I could not stand the feeling of getting home and not going for a drink... I kinda just stood in the kitchen (made a ginger ale and juice) and kept thinking how I could just hit the garage for one drink and no one would know! Fought with that for awhile and realized I hardly had a grip (I knew it wouldnt be just ONE drink after that!). So instead of cooking (like normal) I went upstairs and started to work on some orders I had to get out (I have an online shop). Facebook, reading SR and working got me through. And what a wave of relief it is around 7 pm. SOOO STRANGE! It is just weird. I even told my husband about it. He didn't seem to care much though :P

Looking forward to the rest of the week (and my life) and staying strong. I just keeping thinking about the future and how great it will be having control over this addiction. I think I read you are not supposed to think about the future, but at least it is in a positive light?

Wiggle - are you and I married to the same guy? LOL I'm so glad you stayed strong and found stuff to do! Its hard when you have a partner that doesn't really think there is a problem or cares. We are going to therapy tonight (for the 50th time again) and we will see how it goes. I guarantee if I tell her how much we drink her eyes will turn into saucers.

I'm a little envious of you, I wish I could go hide in a room. UGH I have a 2 yr old and almost 4 yr old so the minute I walk in the door my 2nd job begins. Of course my husband is no help at all and the minute I come home he goes to vegging out on the couch and I'm left to dinner, workout (with kids in tow), bath night, kids to bed, homework. BLAH BLAH BLAH - some nights I just want to scream, which is why I'm sure at such a late age I turned to alcohol. But I have to learn to push through and just enjoy my waking moments with my lil monkeys and make time for myself.

I'm so glad you are here! :lmao On to today!

Well, if your DH will go to therapy then no, not the same guy ;) he is much to stubborn. I want to get a counselor for us, or at least me. I have so much resentment, it makes me feel like a horrible person and, well just sick with myself. Which is why I used lots of alcohol to numb everything. At least I quit the pot about 5 years ago when I got pregnant (miscarriage). Smoking really puts a fog on everything and I don't know if I could see what I am doing to my life if I was still on it. Not sure why I didn't go back to smoking, maybe because my head was clear(er) for once!

Now that I think about it, drinking really started to become a problem after my miscarriage. I knew I was depressed for a long time, but I don't think I have ever connected the dots. hmmmmmmmm

Now I am just a selfish young stepmother of a 14 - almost 15 year old. I am taken advantage of and walked all over and given no respect in my own home. But I did this to myself (got married), and I am just now realizing that hitting the bottle every night is not going to get me what I want (respect, confidence, a life, happiness).

You have it tough, working all day, then being "house manager" the second you get home. I hope that therapy will help your husband to see all that you do, that the home needs to work together, with his help, and not everything can be left on your shoulders. I would crumble too! Good thing we see what we need to do to help ourselves, it is the staying strong part that is hard.

Life is too short to be miserable.
If my life needs work then how the hell is adding booze going to help????
Thank goodness I found this site, only support I have.

p.s. sorry for my (late)life story. eek.
It does help to get it out, but no more hijacking your thread - promise! :D

You can hijack every day my dear! Consider this page everyone's personal journal that we need to write. I love hearing about people's stories. In fact I'm thinking about changing my major from Bus Mgmt to Human Services.

On another note - I miscarried as well the first time with twins. Its devistating and I know what kind of curve that threw me. My only condolance was that it just was not meant to be at that time. My body was already under such stress and damage from drug abuse that it was a good thing I did not carry past the first trimester.

We are all here for different reasons - but we are all here for the same recovery. You can talk to me anytime!!! Stay here my dear - we all need each other.

You are so right, everyone is here for one reason or another, but we are all working towards the same goal. It is great. Thanks Squishy.

How's it goin' Squishy? Hope therapy went well for you and DH last night. You are in my thoughts.

On to day 3 for me, with an unhangover. I am pretty sure that is a real thing, technical term might be detoxing?

Hey Wiggle! I'm so glad you are feeling good today and on Day3! Therapy was stressful last night. We beat up on him pretty bad (she's a very vocal therapist, old hippie type!) But we'll see, he's already attempted a few changes. She of course said I'm obsessive/compulsive. Well DUH! Of course I am! I handle everything because he doesn't do a thing!

And I seem to have found the one therapist that said - "well you just need to scale down your drinking". ARE YOU SERIOUS!?

Oh dear - well we will see how it goes. On to another day right?!:gaah

Yay! Glad you made it another day. I figured it would be stressful. LOL @ the obsessive/compulsive remark. Does she think if you stepped back he would take some responsibility? haha. I know mine wouldn't.

Well, I hope his changes he is trying stick anyway... you know how long that usually lasts ;)

Lets get on with this new sober day :whoop

And that's what I said!!! So she finally realized that he uses me to be lazy. He complains all the time that I'm "go go go!" but he is more than happy having me make all his appts, getting things done around the house and with the kids while he falls asleep on the couch at 7 pm. BLAH!

Is there a cruise where we can send our husbands to just leave us alone? :-)

I'm glad you are here - have you had the night sweats or dreams?

I was actually just looking for that cruise :D ....jk but that is a great idea.

I have had very random dreams and light sleep, but I have always been an extremely light sleeper. No sweats though.

I am not exactly sure what I should be feeling either. I am soooo grumpy with DH, like PMS x10. And yesterday I just didn't want to do anything. I finished a book and then wanted to go to bed (at 7:30!). Is that normal? To be extremely unmotivated???

I was so confused that I finally forced myself to do some laundry, play with the puppy, and did a little gardening. Felt like then I could finally go to bed! ...Only to have my SIL come over wanting to drink. AAAAHHHHHHHH! Then she and hubby drilled me on why I wanted to quit drinking. Are you effing serious!? My husband is sooooo inconsiderate, let alone his massive family that feels like they and drop in whenever they want with out a call. Irritating. But whatev, I made it though without a drink.

How are you sleeping? Any other weird effects happening without the drink? I guess, besides seeing DH with sober eyes?

Hi wiggle and squishy - I've enjoyed reading your posts the last few days - felt kinda like evesdropping on a private conversation! Just intrigued me so much since I could relate to the "do it all yourself" comments. Then when I sit down I need that drink to actually relax at the end of the day. Favorite part of the day - having couple more glasses right before bed with a couple smokes outside by myself. If the hub comes out - I wait till he goes in, then start my 20 min private time. By then a bottle and a half is gone and i'm in a numb state ready for sleep. By the time I go to bed he's usually asleep. And we're supposed to be trying for a baby. I'd rather sit outside and drink to a stupper.

I know finding new activities is key - what did you guys do?

Hi Preg! Welcome! Well one of the things I do is finding an interest in something maybe I haven't done in a while. I'm back to finding new healthy recipes to cook and also running. I'm not saying this is a cure, but keeping busy is key. Maybe photography, taking some school courses or even gardening? You have to find what will work for you. Then once you break your current routine, the cravings will go away and you can start a new life. I hope that helps!

Hi Wiggle! I'm sorry to hear your night was rough! ARGH. But keep strong, you did the right thing last night and didn't drink. Its hard when the hubby is verbally stupid. I get that on a daily basis...

Stay tough today!:wild