Counting Sober Days
 

Conventional wisdom has it that recovery is one day at a time, when in fact, ADDICTION IS.

When we are addicted, all we care about is today - the next high, the next fix, and that feeling supersedes any thoughts of the long-term future. It is only when we stop using that we can focus on the future.

We know the date on which we where born and celebrate birthdays, but do we know how many days it has been since our last birthday, or how old we are down to the day?

Why then do we count sober days?

I think we count sober days coz its like a victory over something that used 2 have a hold over us that no longer has that hold

I voted for #2 but #3 is more apt. I acknowledge sober anniversaries but do not intend to celebrate them.

Im not much of one for celebrating other milestones either.

I think that's an interesting way of looking at how we value time in the two different modes of existence (being drugged up vs not); and also an interesting reverse view of the old saying.

I don't know which I should choose in my answer to the question, because I feel like I am between the first and second options. I have checked on my sobertime many times since I quit, but I also go for small periods without checking too. For example, I am lately at the point where I will say I have 15 or 16 months and not really know which one is the exact truth, whereas this would have been of huge importance at 5 or 6 months, I would have wanted the credit for all of those.

Your post also got me thinking about my attitude toward the time we rack up after quitting - the idea that we are or are not exercising the right kind of humility or what-have-you if we are concerning ourselves with the time we stack up. I remember this person making me feel deflated when I had my One Year when she said that "Now the real work starts"...She had also indicated some prior criticism or interrogation into why I wouldn't use AA. The whole thing left me with a resentful "Screw you, lady" feeling. I think I was basically right. Yes, there was some pride involved. But what are you supposed to do? NOT care about what you have put into the whole thing? I think there's something valuable in my "script" I keep using here about people giving themselves credit for what they do achieve. There will be plenty of times we can say to ourselves, "Good for you, you managed to grow up and act your age" or "Good for you, you are doing what is common sense to most people instead of behaving insanely." I think that kind of talk is good to dress yourself down and not take things so seriously and avoid constant temptations to conduct a pity party. But what if it's also damaging and beating yourself up too? I may not know for a long time whether I am being a fence-sitter or whether I am (wisely) using give and take skills with myself. That's what I sticking to for now.

Anyway, I have somewhere between one and two years, and I think it is 15 or 16 months and will check when I am done this post! I don't own half the world, but I've got what I've got and it has to count!

I think in early recovery it becomes a focus to help us get through and gives us a sense of achievement. Personally, I stopped counting days at around 60ish. A good friend of mine said "counting days is for prisoners". I get the logic behind that and I guess I was feeling a bit chained to my days. I still continue to live one day at a time, i just don't count them :)

However, we are all different and I say if counting days is what keeps you sober then count away. :)

I love this thread! I was so fixated on days that I lost sight of real growth and recovery.

I am becoming addicted to being sober.

When you spend your days shaking, stuff flying out of both ends, not sleeping,not eating, and wishing the good lord would take you while you DT, you have a tendancy to count every minute. Then again, what the heck do I know.
8 days, 16 hrs, 11 mins clean.
Life is getting better

This "old saying" was created by addicted people for addicted people, and it is precisely because it mirrors the very mindset one already had when addicted that it seems to make so much sense.

"Time" is thrown around in certain circles as a status symbol. It is fine to be proud of one's accomplishments, and to celebrate them, but as you found out, "time" is not always used in a benevolent manner.

Lately if people ask me how much "time" I have, and I suspect that their motive for doing so is not benevolent, I will say "That need not concern you; all you need to know is that I don't drink, that I will never drink, and that I will never change my mind."

I know my "sobriety date," and I recently reached a "milestone" in "sober time" - a "chip" date - but decided not to post about it in the forums. I don't think that I will do so in the future, either.

This can happen to the best of us until we "snap out of it." :-)

Counting days was important to me in the beginning, precisely for the reasons Harleybobber suggests - it was an ordeal, for one, and literally a new beginning for me.

My sober anniversary is still important to me - I don't 'celebrate' it but I do spend the day thinking about where I've been, where I am and where I'm going.

I'm also very privileged to be part of this community where they never let me forget my birthday LOL :)

I have no problem if someone else wants to count days, or if they don't.
Whatever works :)

D

As long as you don't drink/use, life will probably continue to get better, friend.

Stay the course, and never, ever give up!

At the moment I AM counting because its new & exciting, but this thread has really made me think. Thank you.
I look forward to being secure enough in my sobriety that it DOESN'T MATTER how long its been. Now THAT will be a day worth celebrating...:a122:

Peace x

It will.

When it does, I hope that you will remember to celebrate by telling someone who is struggling that their day will come too! :-)

I also counted days in the beginning. It seemed that with each new one, I was amazed that I made it that far!! Those first three tags, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days were something I had never...NEVER, thought I would earn. Now, (like Dee) I don't necessarily "celebrate" anniversaries..but I do post something. I think it is important to let those new to recovery...that it really is possible to gather a few years, and that life really does get better!!

Cathy

at first I was obsessed with counting simply because I couldn't believe I was sober...had a fall back last July and drank "in moderation" (or tried it on)..and graduated to a full-blown 2 day sulky binge last August.

as I figured out I wasn't doing myself any favors, I resumed being sober and now I still try to remember how many days and write the total down on my kitchen wall calendar once a month.

One thing I do is wake up every morning and appreciate the fact that I am sober, not hungover, my BP is not through the roof, I'm not having heart-pounding palps. I sign into the gratitude threads....same thing in the evening.

so I count but I try not to obsess....

Birthdays (or anniversaries) are a big deal in fighting alcoholism. You never forget your first one and with celebrating each one after that you find you are peeling away those layers of the onion and growing spiritually.

When I first got sober, counting days was so important to me. In some moments, "not going back to day one" was my sole motivation for not drinking. It was simple and succinct. I don't count days anymore, but on milestones, I really reflect on how much things have changed.

I counted days until I reached 30 days, and then it was 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and then 1 year.

I continue to count my years. My sober birthday has become much more important to me than my natal birthday over all these years. Why? Because that is when I really started to have a life.

I got sober 3 weeks shy of my 36th birthday and I would not wish those years of havoc on my worst enemy. I celebrate my recovery because I am celebrating the life I have found since recovery.

This June 7th, it will be 30 years.

This is what has and still is working for me.

Love and hugs,

I started counting in the beginning, but found it rather counter productive, i was always too focused on NOT making it that i needed to stop. I am sober day by day, but am now of the mindset that i will be for the forseeable future, so day by day means living the day...not focusing on staying sober for that day.

I am thankful to be at that point.

But I also say, if it works to count...count!

One problem with counting days is when you mess up or relapse on something that is not your DOC, for example, alcohol is not my DOC, but one time I had a couple of glasses of wine and I had to start my days over. This got me thinking, since I have to start my days over, I might as well live it up then on my DOC, whereas if I wasn't counting days I may not have done this :(

In the past, approaching "milestone" dates, seemed to act as a trigger for me. There are more than enough triggers out there that are out of my control, so the only day I count is today. As long as I'm clean today, that's all that really matters.

When I first quit some years ago I counted days. I got to a couple thousand than relapsed a few times. Now I don't count, I'd have to get a calender out to figure out my last drunk, but it doesn't matter much to me anymore.

I haven't drank since I got up this morning and I won't drink before I go to bed. Today was successful. Tomorrow with the help of my higher power I'm gonna try and repeat that.

Considering this is my first (and last) 'real' quit...I'm counting! Not to the exact day because I know its 70-something.
After drinking for 30 years and never keeping track of my attempted sobriety...I am now. I tried quitting so many times in so many ways...I have no idea. Now it means something.
It has changed my life, my thinking, my habits, my spirituality and my outlook on how I view the world and myself.
It also gives me a barrier between my past life and my future. Knowing that before that date I have to forgive myself to move on in sobriety -and understand that it was addiction driven. To understand there were supressed feelings and emotions, there were lies and denial.
What lies now and ahead is a new surreal life of sobriety. Open, clean and honest.

I'm not asking for a gold watch every yearly quarter but I think its' important for us as addicts in a supportive setting to encourage others that are struggling by showing them success can be won and that we need to proceed in our daily battles of overcoming this monster. Wow, that was a long sentence.

I did. Up to 90 days. Now I plug my date into the sobriety counter once in awhile to see where I am at. Somewhere in my time frame...not sure where..but NOT drinking is normal to me now. And SOMEWHERE in my time frame..alot of ANGER has left me. But..I still cry easily. I thank GOD that He gave me two daughters. I am grateful. I was watching my grandson play football (I think it is weird that they play football in April..but what do I know?) anyway this kid on the other team gonked helmets with a kid on our team. The one kid reached out to help the other kid to his feet..and the kid wasn't moving. I cried. The ambulance came and he gave us 2 thumbs up as they wheeled him past us on the stretcher. Having daughters I never had to experience all the contact sports. Well basketball but that was just a couple of sprained ankles. BUT had I had boys..they would be girly boys because I cannot STAND to see anyone get hurt. And all I wanted to say is.. I agree with the poster above. Sobriety is my new addiction.

Yes...I counted days..then months...now years.

I'm tickled to help our SR members celebrate milestones.
:funjump:

How do I celebrate my personal DOS?
I've made it a practice to attend a meeting of my home group
anonymouslly adding an extra contribution to the basket

I want to keep those dorrs open for anyone interested in AA
:yup:

Oh I definitely counted hours then days then months. I am nearing 1 year and while I won't have bells and whistles it is a day I will enjoy sober and each year I will reflect and be proud of the fact I rose up and made a better life for myself.

The date that is most important to me is my son's birthday because that is a blessing and only through sobriety and recovery would I be the best mom I can be to him.

SR has been here the entire journey so far and will continue to be :)

I kept track of the days for about the first six months. Now, if I really want to know, I just plug the date into the soberiety calculator. I find this helps give me some perspective on my recovery progress. BTW, today is Day 660 for me!

As for posting milestones, I love to see it. In fact, the VERY first post that I ever read here was someone posting about one year sober. That really got me thinking that WOW...I'd love to be able to say that someday. That was nearly two years ago:)

The only time I've counted was when I was getting close to my 1st year birthday. I didn't do a countdown or anything but I was relatively aware that it was coming up. I've never been a day counter though.....not for the end of school, days till Christmas or my birthday as a kid, nothing. It just doesn't mean much, if anything, to me.

AA birthdays mean something to me though...... I still don't count the days but I do look forward to my annual b-day.