Part 2
 

Today is Day 29, which means I have one lunar month sober and tomorrow I will have 30 days (wow I can do math;-). The past month has been great on many levels, despite having the cold from hell. I have so much satisfaction from not being ruled by my alcoholic voice for the first time in my adult life. And I am so grateful to everyone here on SR for their counsel and support.

But I am taking this, my first really big milestone (big for me at least) as a chance to move onto the next phase. I used alcohol to escape from life, but there were things I did in conjunction with drinking that added to that escapism (I'm assuming that most of us didn't just stare at the bottle when we drank). For me I would read (chick lit) and watch movies (escapist rentals, had to watch at home so I could drink) so that I would not have to think about the empty places in my life and about what I was doing to myself with alcohol, so I would not have to think about the wasted opportunities. I would do these things instead of reaching out to the people I love, or doing the activities that make life worth living.

This past month I have started reaching out to people again. I have been painting again, although I am not actually sure what I want to paint anymore. I have been taking better care of my dogs, I can see that they are happier and more balanced because of it. Stuff like that.

So my goals for the next 2 months are to get my head out of the other areas I use to escape from life, and start really embracing life. No more escaping into La-La land. I am going to work on being present in the moment. If I read, it will be books that will help me grow, and movies can just wait awhile (except maybe Eat, Pray, Love).

I am sharing this with you all so that I have people who are going to hold me accountable. So please feel free to ask me how these things are going if you ever feel inclined.

Thanks!

Congrats on a month!

LaFemme stay out of my head…

When I started this, my intention was to loose the feeling of dependancy on alcohol. That made it easy to focus my attention on a single thing – not drinking. Once I shifted my perception of what alcohol is, the goal became of not drinking becamce trivial for me.

At three weeks I am looking around and realizing that my intention is evolving to a higher ideal. It is changing into a desire to experience the wealth of this existence. To be healthy and embrace the unpreditable nature of life. My original deisre to loose my alcohol dependancy is implicit in my new intention. However, the range of my attention has expanded. Hopefully I can maintain detachment from the fruits of my desire.

Peace

Good for you LaFemme, fantastic attitude, hope the next 2 months are good for you, well done, Gratz :whoop

Congrats on 1 month! giving up our "escape" opens the door to a lot of pain but also to opportunity, happiness, peace etc.... it's well worth it

LaFemme, congrats on your sober time. That is great.

The one thing that struck me about your plan for the next two months is that it seems like a lot of work and little play. Don't forget to enjoy life. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry I misunderstood. And if I'm right, but it is what you want to do, best wishes.

That's all except remember that my opinion is worth even less than you paid for it, lol.

Congrats again on your 29 days. :c011:

Congrats to you on your sober month! :c011: Feels good to feel good again, doesn't it?:)

Least, actually I feel like crap but that's because of my lingering cold/ear infection:-)

BobGT, good point - I actually have no idea how to have fun, will have to work on that, suggestions welcome!

Recycle - It's actually a Jedi mind trick, I am stealing your thoughts, Bwahahaha! Great minds think alike!

Great job LaFemme!

Glad to hear you are now facing life with the can do mentality and working to create great things in your new sober life.

When using alcohol to escape the up and down stress of life we choose to take the the more dangerous route of inaction and in the end it only delays that stress and makes it all the worse in the end.

Glad to hear you have figured this out and are moving forward

Here is a thread on that exact subject. I need to work more on having fun also. I think that as drinking takes over our lives, we drop the fun parts and TRY to hang on to the necessary parts of our lives.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

LaFemme,

I think that the spiritual aspect of recovery made me want to be a better person in all areas of my life. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I am meant to do in this world and what's really important, and that has been a big part of my recovery journey.

I recognized early on that gossip was an unwanted part of my life and that I wouldn't be able to make comments on other people, if I really wanted to be a better person. Of course, the added bonus was, that once I got all that stuff out of my head, there was plenty of room for new and fun ideas.

Great job LaFemme! Keep posting, your insight is inspiring!!

Thanks!:)

Congratulations! What a wonderful commitment to make. I think you're doing to the right thing by "getting out there" now. I have isolated myself during my years of sobriety and have only recently begun to question the wisdom of doing that. Good on you! You're light years ahead of me.

Well done LF.....:funjump:

To celebrate my new sobriety......I got a really good haircut
had a manicure/pedicure Stopped wearing black clothes
started useing scent and make up.....:yup:

I wanted the outside to reflect how positive I was!

All my best LF

Carol - I love wearing Black, would have to get a whole new wardrobe if I were to give it up:-) But I did get a pedicure this weekend, a manicure is a waste for me because of the painting:-) I'm having more fun with my make up too!

Lildawg, let's see how well I do with getting out there...most important thing is finding things that don't involve booze, and isn't just all my married friends and their kids!

Anna, good point, I've never been a big fan of gossip, but I am working on purging all negative thoughts in my life.

Bob - thanks for the link. I stopped having fun and doing things for myself, in part because of the booze, but also because I have always put everyone else's needs ahead of my own.

Congratulations LaFemme on your Lunar month sober.
I used alcohol as a way to escape ugly things about my business and relationships I didn't want to deal with. Now sober, the things are still there, but they are being delt with instead of just letting them slide. Slowly the passion is starting to come back. I am more excited about the future now than I have been in a long time.
I enjoy reading your posts on here. You have a gift of expressing your thoughts whether it be giving encouragement or staight talk to others, or telling us how you feel.
I enjoy art and being creative also. Maybe you can use painting as your new escape.

Marcus

Marcus...painting is my prayer already:-)

Congratulations LaF - and thanks for the great post :)
D

Nice one on your sober time!! Great post too!!

Peace and Love x

Great Post, La Femme. It was hard for me to come out of my isolation after I got sober but once out i would marvel at the world around me. Simple things like being out at twilight shopping or dinner were fun because of people watching. The pace of civilization fascinated me because when I was using everything was in slow motion and scary.
For me, everything takes practice and I think my people skills are getting better and with that comes more fun.
Good luck getting out there but remember take it slow and protect your boundaries.
SH

Stanley, my Life Coach keeps remindin me to have an atitude of gratitude, it makes a huge difference.

I confess I have had a little trouble implementing Part 2 this week, being sick has been a definite hinderance and the fact that its draggin on is difficult for me:-(

Congratulations a day in advance, LaFemme - well done! :scoregood

I'm so glad you're taking this journey with us - you add so much to the forum. I can really relate to the desire to begin to live again. Perhaps you're tuned into Matisse who said: "Painting is prayer." It doesn't always feel like that to me; sometimes it feels like work, sometimes like therapy, and just as often like facing my fears. There's nothing scarier than a blank canvas, even after 25 years!:omfg:But when it feels effortless and I'm tapped into my source, it's definitely like prayer, and those are the times I cherish.

Enough about art (sorry!) I think you're doing great and hope the next 30 days is even better (it was for me). Love your life and yourself, and don't get overwhelmed, but otherwise, go for it girl!

gratitude
 

I like that "Atitude of Gratitude". She's right. I am grateful to be alive and sober everyday. Sometimes, even after ten months, I still thank God for not throwing up that day. It's the simple things.
I'm sorry you are not feeling well. I know we can't give medical advice but I hope you have a doctor that can clear up your condition.
SH

I love your post. A big congrats to you. Sounds like your head AND heart in in the right spot. :)

Congratulations on your month sober. I'll get there again soon as well.

It looks like you are living the quote you have in your signature. "Follow your bliss." I'm a big Joseph Campbell fan as well.

Congrats on your sober month. And thanks for sharing what your future plans are. I think it important that all of us realize that its vital to keep changing and working on our future selves, and your post reminded us (me) of that!

Thanks to everyone for their support...it makes everything seem possible!

Great post LF, there's never such thing as having enough inspiration with what we're all up against here....posts like these help me a lot.

Awesome thread LaFemme. :You_Rock_

la femme, you are quickly becoming one of my favorite posters....don't get the big head...i have reeeeaaaallllyyyy low standards due to years of drinking....lol.

when i quit it was simply to feel better. i have reflected on the harm i have done in the past whether by action or inaction...both had consequences on those around me. all i can do it try to do better from here on out...i can't pull a superman and spin the world around backwards turning back time.

to think i only ended up with 1 dui in 9 years of hard drinking is amazing and a testament that i did most of my drinking at home.

i am so at peace with myself now. i don't get in a hurry....every task is on 'my time' now. i'm much more productive at work. i had a detail assignment offered to me today which i promptly turned down. i'm at a stage in my career where i'm very happy and am not a climber.

right before i turned that down i was offered a lean six sigma class in columbus ohio....as much as i think l.s.s. is the business equivalent of est i recognized i do have over 4 more years before retirement age of 55 and it will help me on future projects.

when i was drinking i would have turned it down.

not drinking has freed up the me that i used to be.

keep on rocking la femme. you hit the nail (continually) for a lot of us.

david.