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Part 2

Old 08-09-2010, 07:28 AM
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Part 2

Today is Day 29, which means I have one lunar month sober and tomorrow I will have 30 days (wow I can do math;-). The past month has been great on many levels, despite having the cold from hell. I have so much satisfaction from not being ruled by my alcoholic voice for the first time in my adult life. And I am so grateful to everyone here on SR for their counsel and support.

But I am taking this, my first really big milestone (big for me at least) as a chance to move onto the next phase. I used alcohol to escape from life, but there were things I did in conjunction with drinking that added to that escapism (I'm assuming that most of us didn't just stare at the bottle when we drank). For me I would read (chick lit) and watch movies (escapist rentals, had to watch at home so I could drink) so that I would not have to think about the empty places in my life and about what I was doing to myself with alcohol, so I would not have to think about the wasted opportunities. I would do these things instead of reaching out to the people I love, or doing the activities that make life worth living.

This past month I have started reaching out to people again. I have been painting again, although I am not actually sure what I want to paint anymore. I have been taking better care of my dogs, I can see that they are happier and more balanced because of it. Stuff like that.

So my goals for the next 2 months are to get my head out of the other areas I use to escape from life, and start really embracing life. No more escaping into La-La land. I am going to work on being present in the moment. If I read, it will be books that will help me grow, and movies can just wait awhile (except maybe Eat, Pray, Love).

I am sharing this with you all so that I have people who are going to hold me accountable. So please feel free to ask me how these things are going if you ever feel inclined.

Thanks!
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Old 08-09-2010, 07:34 AM
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Congrats on a month!
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:19 AM
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LaFemme stay out of my head…

When I started this, my intention was to loose the feeling of dependancy on alcohol. That made it easy to focus my attention on a single thing – not drinking. Once I shifted my perception of what alcohol is, the goal became of not drinking becamce trivial for me.

At three weeks I am looking around and realizing that my intention is evolving to a higher ideal. It is changing into a desire to experience the wealth of this existence. To be healthy and embrace the unpreditable nature of life. My original deisre to loose my alcohol dependancy is implicit in my new intention. However, the range of my attention has expanded. Hopefully I can maintain detachment from the fruits of my desire.

Peace
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:24 AM
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Good for you LaFemme, fantastic attitude, hope the next 2 months are good for you, well done, Gratz
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:27 AM
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Congrats on 1 month! giving up our "escape" opens the door to a lot of pain but also to opportunity, happiness, peace etc.... it's well worth it
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:30 AM
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LaFemme, congrats on your sober time. That is great.

The one thing that struck me about your plan for the next two months is that it seems like a lot of work and little play. Don't forget to enjoy life. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry I misunderstood. And if I'm right, but it is what you want to do, best wishes.

That's all except remember that my opinion is worth even less than you paid for it, lol.

Congrats again on your 29 days.
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:32 AM
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Congrats to you on your sober month! Feels good to feel good again, doesn't it?
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:43 AM
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Least, actually I feel like crap but that's because of my lingering cold/ear infection:-)

BobGT, good point - I actually have no idea how to have fun, will have to work on that, suggestions welcome!

Recycle - It's actually a Jedi mind trick, I am stealing your thoughts, Bwahahaha! Great minds think alike!
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Old 08-09-2010, 10:04 AM
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Great job LaFemme!

Glad to hear you are now facing life with the can do mentality and working to create great things in your new sober life.

When using alcohol to escape the up and down stress of life we choose to take the the more dangerous route of inaction and in the end it only delays that stress and makes it all the worse in the end.

Glad to hear you have figured this out and are moving forward
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Old 08-09-2010, 11:21 AM
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Originally Posted by LaFemme View Post
I actually have no idea how to have fun, will have to work on that, suggestions welcome!
Here is a thread on that exact subject. I need to work more on having fun also. I think that as drinking takes over our lives, we drop the fun parts and TRY to hang on to the necessary parts of our lives.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
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Old 08-09-2010, 11:29 AM
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LaFemme,

I think that the spiritual aspect of recovery made me want to be a better person in all areas of my life. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I am meant to do in this world and what's really important, and that has been a big part of my recovery journey.

I recognized early on that gossip was an unwanted part of my life and that I wouldn't be able to make comments on other people, if I really wanted to be a better person. Of course, the added bonus was, that once I got all that stuff out of my head, there was plenty of room for new and fun ideas.
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Old 08-09-2010, 11:33 AM
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Great job LaFemme! Keep posting, your insight is inspiring!!

Thanks!
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Old 08-09-2010, 11:40 AM
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Congratulations! What a wonderful commitment to make. I think you're doing to the right thing by "getting out there" now. I have isolated myself during my years of sobriety and have only recently begun to question the wisdom of doing that. Good on you! You're light years ahead of me.
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Old 08-09-2010, 11:48 AM
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Well done LF.....

To celebrate my new sobriety......I got a really good haircut
had a manicure/pedicure Stopped wearing black clothes
started useing scent and make up.....

I wanted the outside to reflect how positive I was!

All my best LF
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Old 08-09-2010, 12:17 PM
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Carol - I love wearing Black, would have to get a whole new wardrobe if I were to give it up:-) But I did get a pedicure this weekend, a manicure is a waste for me because of the painting:-) I'm having more fun with my make up too!

Lildawg, let's see how well I do with getting out there...most important thing is finding things that don't involve booze, and isn't just all my married friends and their kids!

Anna, good point, I've never been a big fan of gossip, but I am working on purging all negative thoughts in my life.

Bob - thanks for the link. I stopped having fun and doing things for myself, in part because of the booze, but also because I have always put everyone else's needs ahead of my own.
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Old 08-09-2010, 12:43 PM
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Congratulations LaFemme on your Lunar month sober.
I used alcohol as a way to escape ugly things about my business and relationships I didn't want to deal with. Now sober, the things are still there, but they are being delt with instead of just letting them slide. Slowly the passion is starting to come back. I am more excited about the future now than I have been in a long time.
I enjoy reading your posts on here. You have a gift of expressing your thoughts whether it be giving encouragement or staight talk to others, or telling us how you feel.
I enjoy art and being creative also. Maybe you can use painting as your new escape.

Marcus
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Old 08-09-2010, 01:02 PM
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Marcus...painting is my prayer already:-)
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:03 PM
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Congratulations LaF - and thanks for the great post
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:32 PM
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Nice one on your sober time!! Great post too!!

Peace and Love x
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Old 08-13-2010, 01:52 PM
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Great Post, La Femme. It was hard for me to come out of my isolation after I got sober but once out i would marvel at the world around me. Simple things like being out at twilight shopping or dinner were fun because of people watching. The pace of civilization fascinated me because when I was using everything was in slow motion and scary.
For me, everything takes practice and I think my people skills are getting better and with that comes more fun.
Good luck getting out there but remember take it slow and protect your boundaries.
SH
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