Wow, Draciack, that was a powerful post and full of insight. What really hit me is when you talked about the child wanting to close their eyes:

It really hit me, and helped put words to some realizations I've had lately. Once I got sober (for more than a few days) I began to see that facing life wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I feel connected now, and as I open my eyes slowly, I see smiling faces and sunny mornings that have been there waiting for me. It's not that life is easy. It's just that by shutting out the bad stuff, we shut out the good too. Thanks again for your post!:ghug3

Great post Dracieck.

22 days here. The month is almost up! There's something a little scary about that. odaat.

morning Mayflower peeps - welcome newcomers.

Good stuff that you all have shared - it is really comforting to hear the success through the struggles - think we can all relate to all the feelings and stuff that we had been avoiding - even the fact that when my hair falls just right, it looks like I have a mullet??!! Wha? Surely I was in denial.

Norther - when life throws you chicken sh**, clean it up - brilliant!! Chickens in general crack me up. Glad that you kept your cool.

Abby, sorry about work issue. Thanks for sharing the story about your friend that just got out of prison. A heartbreaking reminder of what could have been for me and more importantly, that now I never will be in any similar situation again. How did your visit go? Must have been very emotional.

Acorn - way to go on the dream job - sending you positive thoughts.

Trader - glad that things are looking up. I can totally relate about feeling like you are seeing life through a new set of eyes!

Drac - had a similar realization a bit back - you said it much more eloquently!

CApoppy- thanks for the update and encouraging people to post :) Cannot express how much I enjoy being caught up on what's going on - this is better than my usual msnbc.com visit for sure.

laura- you certainly can do it!

RGO -way to go keeping busy and having planned activities.

Gonna be hotter than the devil's workshop today so I am off to get a walk in early.

Artsoul - are you slacking on the exclamation points and icons?? I swear that I only saw a couple in your last post.... :react lol!!!

luv yas (said with thick Rhode d'Island accent)

Pork :)

OHHH one more thing that really resonated with me, that came from a wise soul in another thread..

If you get caught up in the past, or are worrying about tomorrow, you are pissing on today.

So keeping that in mind, I am going to have myself a fabulous purposeful day and wish you the same!!

Porkchopped -- are you from Rhode Island (Ro-di-land?) I went to college there :) Just love it.

I think I'm on Day 6. Starting to lose track of the counting. I guess that's a good development.

I had a VERY stressful day yesterday. Not to bore you all with the mundane details, but the kids have lots of activities and end of year school events and I'm running around like a mad woman. My au pair is still on vacation. I really need her back because I have to drag all the kids to all the events and it's getting tiring.

I told you all that my middle son had special needs (related to autism). I had to drag him to this concert last night that my daughter was in (band and chorus). Both my sons did very well and were very well behaved and I was proud of them. However, I had a heart breaking moment. One of the other kids called my son with special needs a "weirdo." He even went so far as to gather a couple of other kids and point out that my son was a weirdo. Kids can be so cruel. I think my kids are very open and accepting of others since they have gotten used to having a brother that's a little different. Many kids don't get that and they can be just cruel. When this kid tried to get another kid to come over and stare at my son and call him a weirdo, I saw it and stared him down with an evil eye that drove him away.

My son is VERY sensitive to the teasing and criticism. It breaks my heart.

I did not drink after all of this, even though it was tempting.

Hope everyone is good today.

Laura

p.s. Growing up, I had a brother with learning disabilities. He had to go to special education and a special school for a while, etc. My parents never gave up on him and I was always taught to respect everyone and their differences. He was teased at times and it broke my Mom's heart and mine, too. I always did well in school and was top of my class, etc. I remember someone once said to me, "Wow, you have a brother? Is he smart like you?" And I said, "Yes, he is. He's smart in a different way." The teacher overheard this and told my parents how proud she was to hear me say that.

*****... I'm so proud of myself! I just wrote an email to the parents of the kid who was calling my son a weirdo last night. Ironically, they are nicest of people and are my friends. I know they would be horrified to hear that their son did that. Better for me to let them know and have them deal with their son.

Also, the other day on the bus, a mean kid told my younger son to "Shut the f*ck up" as my son was giggling with his friend. It was totally unprovoked. My son is in 1st grade. My 11 year old daughter witnessed it. I reported the incident to the principal.

Taking action feels good!!!

Artsoul, you are so right!

I was walking this morning and I saw one of my neighbors awaking too. She smiled and say "good morning" to me.... this is the first time I see her in a morning. She's a nice person but I've never had a chance to talk to her because I was spending my days in bed and my nights drinking.

I remember I used to hate sunny beautiful days. I wanted cold and rainy days, so everybody would stay in and be depressed like I was.

I have missed too much.... I don't want to miss anymore.

-RGO

It's great to read everyone's posts! I'm pleasantly amazed to see how many I need to catch up on after a couple days away...I'd like to say welcome to all the new mayflowers & congrats!! This is an awesome place to be & to be reminded that we're not alone during these difficult times...Hugs to everyone--I know I've been needing them multi on a daily basis

:grouphug:

Trader--that must be difficult, kids can be terribly cruel. I had a cousin with DS, she was only a year younger than me & passed when we were just small children--you're absolutely right about special needs being smart(ER)! in a different way. No matter how many procedures she had to endure in her early short life I never remember seeing her without a smile. Her life & death really caused my aunt to hit the bottle--but she's about 16 years sober now. I haven't told her about my sobriety decision, I should really talk to her. Thanks for your post.

I'm 26 days sober today & I KNOW I couldn't have done it without SR, my new home group (AA) Odaat, & my higher power---who I've known my entire life, but hopelessly went in all other directions to do things MY way, then wonder why the same ole BS still fills my life & squanders my mind.

I have a sponsor now & I'm getting antsy to begin these steps. I hope I stick with it. I'm pretty notorious about being real gung ho in the beginning of any new project & then skipping out all together. I've never tried sobriety before though, so gotta WORK IT!!!

A friend unexpectedly visited me yesterday & I was telling her that my hardest vice to give up is Definitely drinking (I gave up other stuff too) because I have very easy access to it--it's still in my house, because I'm not the only one who lives there. Then i jokingly (but serious) reiterated what would happen if we had a beer on the deck while chatting--here's how it'd go....we wouldn't have one we'd have two, then we wouldn't want to go to sleep (cause it's 4 p.m.) so we'd go to her old work & hit up happy hour, then we'd go to writer's night & have a few more, then close down a bar elsewhere...and who knows where we'd end up after that...I have 3 things to say
Yikes & NO thanks

Hope ya'll have a glorious Tuesday! Keep on rockin' MayFlowers!!!

:bounce ---this soooo reminds me of the south park medicinal fried chicken episode from this season...hahaha

traderjane -- I am so sorry about the kids giving your guy such a hard time. He is lucky to have such a loving, sensitive mother.

This reminds me of something my sponsor likes to tell people. We alcoholics/addicts tend to be over-sensitive. And, like pretty much everything, this can be a good thing and a bad thing. At times, it means we overreact, are touchy, and want to numb overselves to anything painful. We can make a big deal out of just about anything.

But then there is the good side of it, we have a wonderful ability to feel the pain of other people, to emphathize and want to help so badly. I've seen this among the people I've met in recovery. They will go to the ends of the earth for you. The essence of recovery is reaching out to help another and realizing your own pain is being healed.

Today, my in-laws are off sight-seeing. I have to tell you, they have such anger and negativity they are frazzling me terribly. I awoke to a mad panic about a missing wallet. The immediate assumption was that it had been stolen, which was pretty much unbelievable given the circumstances (no, I wasn't accused -- not THAT bad). When I asked how/when that would have happened I got some very, very paranoid, angry scenarios. It was found two hours later in a very reasonable place. I am exhausted by these people.

Oh, yeah. Those thoughts of a drink came to mind. I just don't want everything that happens AFTER that drink. Isn't it funny that we all think in terms of "a" drink? Has any one of us every had a single drink? That would be hell!

Thanks for your supportive words, everyone!

JLR -- sorry your inlaws are driving you nuts. I can relate to that -- when I was married, mine drove me crazy, too. That's one good thing about being divorced LOL!!!

I totally agree with you about the 'being sensitive' thing. It's a double edged sword. You feel so much for so many -- which can be good or bad. Unfortunately (or fortunately, however you want to view it) at least 2 of my 3 kids have inherited this trait from me. My daughter is extremely sensitive -- everything she feels (a lot) I feel it, too. My middle son with the special needs -- ditto, even more so. They say kids on the autistic spectrum are not supposed to be sensitive -- well he sure as heck is. My second son is a bit more "happy go lucky" -- though not entirely easy, either -- maybe God wanted to give me a little break with #3.

Just as a follow up, the parents of the boy who was teasing my son wrote back to me and were VERY GRATEFUL that I told them what happened. They were horrified that a child of theirs could do that to someone and plan to talk to him seriously today. They are such good people. They thanked me for telling them and said they would have never known about it had I not told them. So maybe some good will come of this after all.

Got a mani/pedi today -- trying to treat myself right. Hope you all treat yourselves well today, too!

Laura

Day 11. Sobriety, what a wonderful birthday gift
 

This is our 11th day and it is my birthday. Our sobriety is my birthday gift and what a wonderful gift it is.

We are lazy because my second gift is a week of home holiday with my husband, enjoying all those things we forgot. Lazy mornings in bed, a warm house, hours in bath, storms outside and peace inside and all of that sober.

Making plans, being together, getting breakfast in bed, and all of it sober.

Thank you, all of you for your courage and being there and making me feel supported and encouraged . I salute all of you who are out there staying clean, sober, getting back on the wagon and living to fight another day.

BIG :grouphug:

Thank you, thank you, thank you

Happy Birthday Margareth !! ...and the 50th post too !!! LOL
Thanks for giving us all strength as I look forward to my Birthday later this year !! Hope your day is a special one !!
:bday7

Hello Flowers! :e082: (some of these smileys are weird)

Hope your Tuesday has gone well (or Wednesday for those on the other side) Isn't is great that so many of us are going about our daily lives SOBER?? YIPEE!

Acorn - meant to ask you: when's your "dream job" interview? I hope you land it. That would be a great sobriety gift!

RGO - Thanks for sharing how you saw your neighbor and talked to her - I really related to it. It's nice being able to interact with humanity these days, isn't it? :-) I'm so happy I no longer have to look down, mumble, and try to slither away while wondering if they "noticed."

Trader, I'm SO glad you contacted the parents about their children being so mean. It's an epidemic these days. You wouldn't believe what some fellow students have said to my daughter (high school) in text messages. Honestly, I really wish they would start group therapy or anger management in kindergarten. I don't ever remember anything like this when I grew up.

Atlas - congratulations on 26 days and getting a sponsor, and sharing with others about your sobriety. You're doing all the right stuff. Infact, I think I'll give you the FLOWER POWER AWARD OF THE DAY!! No money, though, sorry.:whoop

Margareth - keep being lazy and enjoying your sober time with Mr. Margareth - Glad you can support each other in your sobriety. That's awesome!

jlr - So true, so true!!! Like having one lick of a candy bar.... what's the point??

porkchopped - trying to imagine a center cut chop with a mullet..... it's not working!!! haha - hope your day is going well, girl!

Had some crazy stuff happen today (some flooding in my art studio, taking my daughter's car to get gas and having it quit at a stop sign during morning rush hour). I hate "surprises," but I found myself thanking God/angels/saints/SR/my lucky stars - because I can't imagine what it would have been like to do it all with a hangover. AUUGGGGHHHHHH!

oh, porkchopped - this is for you:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:slider3::e052::hyper !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

teehee......have a great night!

50 already
 

50th already, wow!
Yep, the day is very special and all sober too. :c031: thanx

Hi Mayflowers!
Haven't been here in a while. Had a couple of false starts in early May.
Quick out of the gate but stumbled.

Presently on day 10 though and feeling very positive and strong.

It really is a 'just for today' thing for me.
Just for today, I know I will NOT drink. If I let my mind go too far into the future it's overwhelming but just for today, I know I'm not drinking. That, I CAN do!

Read something recently but can't remember where...it might have been here but i dunno really. When I have cravings, I think...

"God brought you to it and he'll bring you through it"

Have a wonderful sober day Mayflowers !

Hey Richard - CONGRATS on 10 days. Yippee!!!!!
I can only go a day at a time, too. I haven't really made changes to my life (other than not drinking, obviously), and I'm not going to AA, but I come here several times a day (in the beginning, I practically ran to my laptop a few times when those cravings hit:yikes:). So far, so good. Glad you're still around! Have a great day! :wave:

Margareth - I read your post and completely missed/forgot about your birthday. Another brain glitch.........

So, without further ado, Happy (belated) Birthday!:birthday