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Sorry Yes... I couldn't get it off my mind and have failed. When my husband asked me for a beer...which is rare, I used at as an excuse to open the wine... ALREADY!!!! I have lasted a day. I just kept thinking about it. His beer offered me the opening I had been waiting for. I apologize for my previous posts and will return when I evidently am more serious about pursuing this issue. I thought this time it was for real. Sorry. |
you have not failed, you are learning a great deal about yourself be nice & kind, TO YOU! |
Maybe you're just not ready yet. Don't be so hard on yourself. You can always try again. No reason to leave the board. (((HUGS))) |
SR is *for* people struggling Laura. Stick around... D |
Hey,I stopped every day for 45 years, I'm a slow learner. Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. - Thomas Edison I'm on day 81, and life is good, but then I'm easily pleased by the simple things in life--like life. |
If everyone left who had relapsed around here it would be awful quiet here!! You learned something today. Not a good idea to get a beer for your hubby. I had a similar experience a few days ago. My dad asked me to pick up some beer for some friends they were having over. No problem, I said, beer was never much of an issue for me. Then he said, also why don't you stop by the ABC and pick up a bottle of brandy. Bells and lights go off in my head. They also sell rum there. I like rum. Maybe I'll pick up a bottle of rum. Everyone else will be drinking tonight, why not me? And so it was done. The next day I felt like crap, much like you. Posted here, as you have. And was welcomed back, as you are welcome. I learned that going to the ABC is a bad idea for me, duh!! Doesn't take a brain surgan to figure out an alcoholic probably should stay out of a liquer store, but none the less, it was a lesson learned. I told my Dad about it, he said he was sorry for even putting me in that situation and won't do it again. I don't know if your husband is supportive of your stopping drinking or not, if he is, tell him about it. If not, it's a bit tougher, but you have to take care of you. If he insists on drinking around you, let him get his own beer. Stick around, learn from your mistakes and the mistakes and successes of others here. Take care. |
No need to leave SR....please relax Many of us had false starts before we actually quit. :yup: |
Thank you so much guys. I just feel so weak and stupid. I spent all day doing things that I like doing to try to keep my mind off of it. I read even here that the first week is easy. It is as though I was just waiting for an excuse. It's just pathetic. I just don't feel I deserve your company yet. |
Take good care of yourself. Maybe drink some water and try to get some rest? |
Old AA saying....:) "Sit down, we don't shoot our wounded" Well...my first weeks were never easy...:no: Yes...I did return to drinking after I decided to quit. Took me 4 years to actually stop. And that is not something I recommend as a time line. You did not committ murder or treason you drank wine again. That can be overcome. |
Hi Laura, recovery is a journey. By coming here you have made a start on that journey, it is a bit soon to give up. :) Don't be discouraged, it isn't easy for anyone. |
Aaahhh Laura, I know that feeling of worthlessness but no need for you to go climb back into the bottle full time! It may take a try or two but you can do this!!! Stick around and know that you have support here, no matter what mistakes you make. I liked what Tyler said, if everyone left here that relapsed, it would be awfully quiet here :) I just don't feel I deserve your company yet. |
I'm so sorry Laura, but don't beat yourself up. You can always try again. I look forward to seeing you back here! |
Lauren, I hope you stick around SR. There's so much support here. This disease is very diabolical and relentless and can so quickly mess with your mind, as you found out. I hope you continue to read and post. |
Please don't leave, Laura. It's hard. We know. :) |
Please stay. We're all here on this journey together. As Dee said, SR is for people struggling with this demon. This is a SUPPORT forum. We're here to support you in getting sober. Please stick around. |
"we strive for ... progress, not perfection" I feel your pain - I've screwed up numerous times since my 3 month stay in treatment back in Nov. 2008. I am still trying though - we have to! Today I have 80 days! My new sobriety date is April 12th of this year (easter sunday) and only then because I was sitting in JAIL and the truth of my sickness was all around me. God was my only friend at that time - and thanks to him, I have the gift of salvation (even if I keep messing up) as long as I keep trying! Hang in there - DO NOT GIVE UP! And do not beat yourself up! |
Sometimes it's hard to learn unpleasant things about ourselves. I can tell this was a bit of an eye opener for you. This forum is for people just like you, like me, and like the next person regardless of where they are in their quest to feel better and live healthier. It's hard to find out that alcohol might have a bit of control in your life, I know it was for me. I remember waiting for that 'permission'.. the invite, the hubby drinking.. it was only when I told him that I had to quit and quit for good that I started to win the battle, because until then, I knew I'd always have an 'out'. It's tough stuff.. I too had a bunch of false starts. Stick around!!! |
Laura, I think it's safe to say that almost everybody in this place has experienced what you experienced the crummy feeling of shame (or whatever) at not being able to quit. If at first you don't succeed... What I've found is that once you commit, all those things that get in the way of your sobriety lose a lot of power. The booze never loses its power over you, and that's why you stay away from it. It sounds like you really want to get sober. Just keep trying and don't beat yourself up too bad. We've all been there. |
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