Hi LauraAnderson,

I hope you do stick around. I am new to this as well. Just joined last Sunday. I did not have perfect success in my first week of "sobriety." However, it was a HUGE improvement from the way I had been drinking. So I consider it a partial success. I will continue to be on here, reading posts, evaluating my situation, etc. and I hope you do as well.

I think for those of us who are perfectionists (like me, and possibly you) we can get discouraged if we don't succeed 100% the first time. I think we need to adjust our thinking to: this is not an all or nothing deal. Just because you don't succeed 100% on the first go round, that does not mean you should stop trying. Maybe it will be incremental improvements, I don't know. I think the key is to make some goals for yourself, perhaps baby steps at first... and try to achieve them. I don't think there's a right or wrong here, I just think we all to figure out what's going to work for us to either: cut down or stop drinking, whichever the case may be.

Anyways, I hope you stick around.

I used to do the same thing until even my hubby going out and having a drink with friends meant that somehow I could drink alone. Its a vicious cycle and it takes a while for us to see it. Took me YEARS!! Glad to have you back!

Shelly

Laura I do hope you'll listen to what all the others have said too. When I first failed I felt guilty and ashamed and I stayed away. There is so much great support here and when you are ready we'll be here.

Don't feel like a failure. Winners never quit and quitters never win. ;)

Dear Laura,

(((((Large Big Hugs)))))! You have not given up and that is a wonderful thing! You also admitted to everyone the "power that alcohol has over you". It takes a great deal of courage to face your demon, alcohol and to have admitted to all of us your weakness. This is why in AA, it is stated that alcohol is "Cunning, baffling and powerful". You have not experienced anything more shameful than any of the rest of us has at many times also felt. You are NOT alone and you have joined in the company of all of us who have felt the same weakness towards this disease. Please...allow yourself to be "human" just as all of us are. Just continue to take "One day at a time" and it will come in time. Keep on fighting the good fight and stick with SR.

Love Pancake xo

Maybe you and your husband need to be together in this thing recovery. My wife, who we still have many serious issues between us,would never ask me to get her a beer. She does not drink around me, through her choice, not mine, and we do not keep alcohol in the house. If she wants a drink its her responsibilty to get it. If family or friends come over it is their resonsibilty to BYOB and serve themselves. Sobriety needs to be as I said, a partnership.

“from craving arises sorrow and from craving arises fear”. In our sorrow and fear comes our pain. When we try to medicate or numb our pain chemically, we become addicted. When we try to smother it in the comfort of our family and friends we smother the love of family and friends. What are we to do? To whom or what can we turn? Who can you turn too?

I hope you stick around Laura! This place is for anyone who wants to be sober, and it definitely sounds like that is still what you want. Learn from the mistake and come up with a strategy on how you will react the next time your husband asks for a beer. If you make that decision now it won't come as a surprise when it happens again.

Please stay and keep sharing!

Unless you're talking about quitting addictive behaviors, and then replace "never" with "always."

Thanks to everyone who has posted. You are a group of supportive and amazing people.

I didn't write this thread in the best state of mind last night. When my husband asked me for the beer, I took it as a sign that he was fine with me drinking... and so figured, no big deal since I had been thinking about it all day anyway, so I gave in. Unless I'm stressed, I have no problem thinking about alcohol until about 5 PM and then I can't stop thinking about it. Yesterday I kept telling myself I wouldn't have any and so I thought about it all day. It is as though before, it was enough just to know the evening drinks were in store...and as much as I wanted.

Best wishes for continued success to all and thanks for the encouragement.

Hi,

I think it was the obsession that bothered me the most. I spent so much of my time thinking about when I would next drink, what I would drink and how much. It was actually a relief to stop drinking and be able to get on with my life.

Hi
 

Hi lauraandersen4, The guilt we all share is a prerequisite for getting to this point .We feel bad so we drink, we stop drinking feel good and start drinking.. I can feel your pain. I hope i get to to know you and share are stories and achievements.. Jay.......:c014:

I see we've got a couple new members that posted here, welcome to SR, I hope this thread inspired you in some way.

Laura, I'd go through and thank everyone for their posts, but I'm on vacation and using a laptop so I just want to say that I found everyone's posts helpful and supportive. That's humbling and inspirational in my recovery.

So many people have false starts, you don't need to be sorry, we'll keep a seat warm and we don't shoot our wounded. Keep coming and reaching out for help, we can't escape the grace of our brothers and sisters in recovery forever, if you want this bad enough the miracle will happen.