I'm new
 

OK...trying to figure out how this works...I'm pretty slow when it comes to computer stuff. I need and want to quit drinking. Basically am 60 yr old. single lady, have good life, live alone. I like to bring home a big bottle of wine and guzzle it down. Been doing this for so long and every time, the next morning I want to quit for good.

nice to meet you, roger2. nothin' much to figure out here - just keep reading and posting wherever and whenever to want :)

are you thinking about aa or any other support group?

keep reaching out! hugs, k

You've come to the right place, roger2! Ditto to Parentrecovers, have a seat and start reading...Lots of love and support here for anyone who wants to join in!

don't like AA
 

Thanks! I don't like AA at all. It just doesn't work for me. I've never liked clubs, I quit the brownies when I was 7 or 8. My problem is that I can so successfully hide my drinking problem since I live out in the woods. I want to be healthy now. I'm getting old.

Roger 2,

Well the first step is admitting you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable... It's the only step out of 12 that we have to get perfect.

This site is a good first step, but I would highly recommend going to an A.A. meeting, it is the best thing I have ever done. Do not worry about being judged or being accepted, just go and listen, I'm sure that, like me, you will hear your story.

I was alone, isolated and hated myself, now I am not alone, have the best friends I have made in my lifetime and I no longer hate myself. I'm proud to be an alcoholic in recovery and you can be too!

Good luck,

John

can't do AA
 

I've been to AA meetings, gagged on the smoke and drank the nasty coffee.
I don't like being told I'm powerless really and my life isn't unmanageable at all. I don't do crazy things....just come home, drink and go to sleep. I quit for two years on my own once . I also don't like sitting around chatting with people about drinking. Sooooooooo.....There is an all women meeting here in town I might try...

Give that meeting a shot. What have you got to lose? You could meet people in the same situation as you, and who understand.

I hope you go, and wishing you the best.

Roger2, just find as many resources as you can. I use a patchwork quilt of solutions: AA, this website, a therapist, an outpatient substance abuse program. I am throwing everything but the kitchen sink at myself to stay sober.
Sure, I don't like some things about AA, because I am an athiest. But I view it as a tray of chocolates, I pick the things I like and skip over other things. I find AA very useful.
AA is not the only game in town either, if you search around, there are alternative groups that are not religious.
Welcome BTW, and keep coming back to SR!!!

new friends
 

I really will try and make myself come down off the mountain and go to the ladies meeting. If I don't, It really is good to know, that I can still talk to people on this website and still be in the woods.
My daughters both drink and we always have so much fun when we get together...the only consequences I suffer are that I feel like crap the next day. I wish I had a better reason......it would be easier.

Welcome Roger2! Glad that you found us :hug: there is a lot of support here! Please check out the other forums and the stickies located at the top of the forums-they are filled with a wealth of information-

Please keep posting we are here for you! :)

hi. i'm new to this site too. i know how you feel about not liking AA. who wants to admit defeat, right? but honestly you'll be able to pick apart pretty much any program you approach--the point is that what you're doing now isn't working for you at all. when i first went to meetings i would look at people and just see how i wasn't like them, because i never did this or that or because of age/racial/religious differences. but now i fight to look for the similarities between us, because we're all there to try and stay sober and show each other support. good luck to you.

too much bull
 

My problem is that I don't believe all the stuff I hear about alcoholism, and many other things for that matter.
Genes make proteins...that's all they do. It's a long journey from a protein to an actual behavior. I don't believe alcoholism is a disease. What? Does a drunk sneeze on you and then you catch alcoholism??? Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic....don't believe that either. I don't believe in the whole "powerless" thing and leaving it up to a higher power.
So I get really negative when I hear all these things at AA meetings. People drink alcohol because it feels good.
It's a habit, it's addictive (fun things are) and basically you just have to kick yourself in the butt and quit. Need to eat healthy, think good thoughts, exercise, and figure out why getting wasted is better than not getting wasted.
Thanks to all who have wished me luck. Maybe that's all it boils down to.
Anyways.....gonna try again. I guess I can do what I do in church, when I go. Think my own thoughts and just realize that everyone in the church is there because they want goodness in their lives...and ignore the details.

Hi And Welcome Roger2.

Yeah...it really boils down to if you feel you can stop being addicted to alcohol. Forget the genes if you want, but right now would you say you are physically addicted to alcohol. Can you make it one day? Can you make it 3 days? Have you been able to try?

I could make it 2 or 3 days, and then the need to drink would be too overpowering for me, and I would go out and buy some more.

I'm a person who really needs to have help to stop. The women's meeting sounds like if could be interesting. I had to promise my kids I would stop isolating and drinking, and get out and be social. This is now a really important part of my recovery tool belt.

I too am an atheist who attends AA meetings. I'm a sucker for love and support. I need lots of it!

safety in numbers
 

Thanks, Log Cabin. I suppose I need help from other people too. I can quit for a few days, even a week but by then I'm feeling good and ready to drink it up.
I live by myself in a beautiful little house in the woods. I actually am "elated" at times coming home on Friday, big bottle of wine, some chips and salsa, a DVD...and I'm thinking...THANK GOD, I'm alone and can do whatever I want. Woo hoo.
Then I wake up in the morning feeling terrible...ready to quit again and again and again. Once I woke up and I'd tipped over my glass next to the bed and it must have landed on my little dogs head - his head was purple. Kind of awful but pretty funny too.
I'm scared to think what I'm doing to my health. I'm 60 yrs. old and have been doing this a long time. My daughter is getting married in October and I want to look great for her wedding...not all red faced and bleary eyed!
Regarding the genetic thing and a lot of other stuff...most people simple would not believe the line of bull they are fed daily through the news and even so called scientific studies. "Studies have shown"...can mean ANYTHING.
Gotta do this thing.

I was certain that all of the NA/AA stuff was hogwash.

(I found out later though that in reality I was the hogwash, lying to myself & others, making the same mistakes over & over, looking for excuses, being critical, saying I was going to do something and never doing it.)

The NA/AA program was everything people said it was - once I tried doing it.

Just for me, it is the greatest show on earth.

in support
 

I didn't mean to sound dismissive about AA. It's great when someone is saved by this. I've dropped in on meetings at times in my life and I never felt comfortable...ever. I guess, cause deep down I know as anyone who is truly honest with themselves is that the willingness and ability to quit has to come from only one place - inside of us. No club, medicine, therapy, intervention can work if we don't have the courage and strength inside.
I think a meeting of all women would be supportive and like you said, it would be nice to meet people who are struggling with drinking...find out what they do. I just don't want to do that 12 step thing and "study the steps", gaaaaaaaaaaa ...I'd rather just get together and play scrabble.

Roger2... I love reading your posts. I 'see' so much of me in them.

Honestly - please do keep coming back.

welcome roger2 you are in the right place, there are other options besides AA such as s.m.a.r.t. recovery and lifering. There are links to these sites on this site when you look under resources I think..
in any case I have been sober for 16 days now, and do not attend AA, although I would not rule it out. I am finding this site to be a great source of support and encouragement.
thanks for your post I look forward to reading them =) noba

I see myself in you so much also. I was so certain I was strong and willful and stubborn enough that I could do this alone.

Well I finally found out through many hung over mornings that I could not do it alone. I needed the help of others who had walked in my shoes, and knew how to stop for real, and for good. I love AA because I can be in a room of people who understand where I am coming from, and can give me so much advice.

The other thing is that I took advice and suggestions from ANYWHERE and ANYONE I could. I just became willing to listen. That was all I had to do.

As some others have said, AA is not the only way to sobriety....please explore all your options. And playing scrabble with other sober women is a really good idea! You will, however need to meet them!

maybe check out the secular connections threads...and just sorta look around SR and see other people who have found alternative ways to stay sober. What I do to stay sober probably doesn't "require" AA...but it is something I have only been able to do within AA.

The common thread I see in SR is the need to share about sobriety with other alchoholics. The WE part seems critical and I myself am someone who has enjoyed greatly being single and spending time alone. There is room for both parts in my life.

Keep coming here and sharing. It helps me.

good day
 

This has been a good day! I've run upstairs every so often to check and see who has written. I talked to my daughter too, and she's drinking club soda tonight. LogCabin, your porch looks so much like mine even the flowers are the same color. Mine's not a log cabin but it's small and tucked away in the
mountains.
I have been divorced for 10 years...husband was bad alcoholic, finally got sober (on his own) is remarried now and we are all friends. (I still have some deep resentment though I think....from the physical abuse, cheating, etc. but I've moved on from that as best as I can). He's got lots of money now too....dern it!!
I have 3 absolutely amazing kids in late 20's and early 30's. Both daughters drink too much so I want so much to be an example for them. Maybe I can lead the way. My son drinks beer but not to excess...probably doesn't want to be like his dad.
Guess I'll call this - day one.
:-)

You need to look up the definition of disease. A disease is not necessarily communicable - something you "catch" like measles or whooping cough. It can also be something you are born with, like MS, or develop, like arthritis or diabetes.

Alcoholism is a lot like some forms of diabetes in that it can be 100% controlled by behavior.

Alcoholism by any widely accepted medical definition, is most certainly a disease.

Welcome....:wave:

Here is a list of various recovery programs
SMART might appeal to you.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

Keep posting....:)

cough cough
 

I know about the "disease concept" argument that has been going on for the past 200 years. From the definition, well, old age is a disease...or life itself could be considered a disease! And it's fatal!
My ex husband was a disease too.
Anyways.....it's just something to waste time arguing about that will never be resolved.
Hey, how did you pick that out from my message and then write about it?
How can I do that?

"It's always darkest, just before it turns completely black".... ha

Welcome to SR Roger2

It's a habit, it's addictive (fun things are) and basically you just have to kick yourself in the butt and quit. Need to eat healthy, think good thoughts, exercise, and figure out why getting wasted is better than not getting wasted.

If this is true than why do you suppose you need to go outside all this stuff seeking support and help?

Im not an AA person either, but I do believe I needed to admit I was powerless and my life was unmaneagble before I could attemp to quit. Its not a matter of just stopping. Much more goes with that. Its been over four months since I had a drink, but it isnt the not drinking I focus on. Its all the stuff that led me to drink in the first place. If you dont think AA is right for you, well I think you should try it again. Just try, it cant hurt. Also check out the link CArol refferred you to.. I got some good stuff out of it.

Whatever you do I wish you the best and hope you stick around.
Welcome,
Beth

Roger2

I do not buy into the disease model myself. I finally had to come to the place in my life though that it doesn't matter anymore whether or not I believe it is a disease or not, or if I just lack self control and I had crossed that line. The thing is I want to learn to live w/ out any kinds of substances because i felt like they were defining who I was. I also came to the point that I could not safely use in any form and control my using, just for today!

I still do not agree w/ some of the stuff the meetings of AA/NA (but for other reasons than just the disease concept) but I decided that I couldn't do it on my own anymore. And guess what???? I made clean and sober girlfriends! one lady "L" comes over and brings her son and our boys play and we eat and play cards! We don't drink or use and we attend meeting together!

So you see, it took me a little bit, I started meeting probably in Nov. or Dec. but I made friends and I am sober as of 1/20/08. My life is so much better, my future is brighter and my fear has left me!!!

welcome and blessings! Sheila

Hit the "QUOTE" button in the lower right. If you do not see the button it may be because you do not have enough posts, some functionality is limited until you post X number of times.

Hum....wonder if I did this right. Oh this computer. When I turned it on all the icons and words were really BIG. I didn't do anything to it last night either. I got the icons smaller but the print is still pretty big.
Maybe it's because it's DAY TWO. WOOT ! And I can see clearly now the rain is gone....it's gonna be bright bright sun shiny day !!!!
I'm already planning what to do today instead of puttering around the house feeling bad (like yesterday).
I feel like there's this little group of people somewhere out there rooting for me. Pray for my daughter's too. They struggle with this "affliction" (I like that word better).
Wow, the new Hadron super collider is going to fire off some protons around the first of September and get them up to 99.9% of the speed of light!!!!
Some people are afraid it'll create mini black holes that will suck the earth up.
That would be a bitch!
:-) thanks ya'll.