|
Bamb, you said it yourself: you can't control other people s opinions. Why would you want to, anyway? Unfortunately, if you're not comfortable with who you are, chances are you won't find much peace. That's a fact, whether you live in WV, Gayland :wink: or alone in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Having said that, you might find a location where you're more comfortable. Let's avoid that infamous brush stroke... Some cities are known to be more "gay friendly" than others. That doesn't mean that no one will give you a hard time in, say, San Francisco. It also doesn't mean that you won't find helpful, supportive people where you're living right now. Trust me, I've been around... And I find that, as my sense of self-worth grows, the baggage I carry around does get lighter. You mentioned in an earlier post that the reason you haven't moved is mostly monetary. So how about challenging yourself? If you really do want to relocate (again, that won't solve all of your problems) why not set out to do something about the constraining $ factor and, at the same time, work on yourself? Are there any GLBT support groups available in your area? |
Originally Posted by ananda
(Post 1866981)
The whole label thing....you know we do have to categorize things in order to function in the world...thus labels. But they can be fluid loose tools for organizing info instead of ridgid cages that we can't see beyond. Of course! :) But there is a difference between describing a person or group and only seeing a person or group as one thing (and using the label in a negative way), and that's my point. Sorry I wasn't more clear. I was born and raised in West Virginia, and it's not the most accepting of states. Don't get me wrong, we have some good people here (plus plumming, electricity, and shoes [sorry :)]), but many move away to pursure new opportunities. West Virginia isn't a destination state (which is sad, because it really is beautiful here). We need more new people with different perspectives to come here to live. In my short travels around, I've noticed that it seems the more diversity there is, the less judgemental everyone tends to be... Sorry I'm rambling. Hopefully this is the last post I make here. I'm probably getting on people's nerves. :) Peace all. |
"My experience, however, has been the opposite. GLBT people usually don't volunteer up the information. Instead, nosy people trying to find out the truth are looking for a hot piece of gossip." I know, I have witnessed this type of behavior first hand and I find it abhorrent. The amount of importance some people attach on others' love lives is a pretty good indicator that they don't have much of their own. But Matt is right, there are people who take it beyond annoying gossip and are downright psychotic about it. I do not suffer these fools anymore than I would someone who tosses around the "N" word. As a female I have encountered lots of men who hate women but something tells me I have not had to suffer the same degree of hatred that Matt is speaking of. As far as conversation goes, I love diversity in thoughts and opinions as long as they do not contain cruelty. Hell I don't care who you sleep with, tell me what movies you like, what music do you listen to, what books do you read? Do you like to travel? Where do you work? Yeah, I'm nosy but in a harmless way. I like to hang out with people who can "entertain a thought without accepting it" (Aristotle). I sometimes forget that there are some dangerous fools out there. I sincerely wish it wasn't so. |
Sorry, I lied about posting more. :) Maybe I'm confused here and misreading the posts, but I never said nor do I believe I have a problem with accepting myself. I am who I am. The problem I have is when everyone else has a problem with it. As much as I would like to say I don't care what others think at all, that's simply not true. I want to be loved and liked and accepted the same as every other human being. I have the most basic and simple needs that aren't being met. I don't fit in here...I never have and I never will. I'm realistic. I know not everyone is going to be accepting everywhere, but I do believe there are better places for me to live. For example, if I don't like rain, I'm not going to move to Seattle...I'll try somewhere in Arizona instead. Thank you everyone for listening to me complain and taking your time to care to reply. |
B., here's why I keep hammering the self worth idea: I think that, if you're okay and comfortable with yourself, you can just let other people's ignorant, hurtful comments slide. That's not to say that you should become a doormat. But ultimately, some fights aren't worth the effort. You may not agree of course, I'm just describing what works for me right now. I'm sure that will change in time. Bamb, keep posting :) It's good to discuss things openly. |
When I said that about people saying my brothers..mothers husband..whatever it was I said. I was being a little sarcastic. Trying to be funny I guess. I said that becasue My grams will say stuff like that and she says those things to be accepting of the person. I think it is cute when she does it. God dont get her trying to remember street names of some of my friends. She will really make you squirm. LOL.. My friend Snoop. She innocently called him Spook one time. LMAO. But he knew she really thought thats what it was. I dont judge anyone. I dont critisise anyone. And when the day comes when I think I am better than someone and being "Petty" Please someone kick me in the head. I just get a kick out of things. I look for humor in everything. I will bust on myself so hard to get a laugh. So my words were taking way too seriously. Lighten up people. It isnt a joking matter for those who really do struggle with issues. But I was reflecting on MY OWN experience. So I can bust on my ESH if I choose. I really hope this thread doesnt turn into a debate. And I'll tell you something..I am asian and dont get along with asians. Dont know why. Not predjudice. Just dont mesh well with most of them. So whatever. I have been told by my own race I was a disgrace to my mother whom has been missing since I was 5. Because I didnt speak Korean. So I really dont want to hear about critisism. I have enough crap to deal with in my life to be taking most of it too personal. |
Originally Posted by chiynita
(Post 1867391)
I just get a kick out of things. I look for humor in everything. I will bust on myself so hard to get a laugh. So my words were taking way too seriously. Lighten up people. It isnt a joking matter for those who really do struggle with issues. But I was reflecting on MY OWN experience. So I agree... No more pettiness. None of the posters have been mean spirited; let's all just dump the labels and bickering, and move on together. :ghug :) |
Would you rather they say something homophobic? On a slightly less general note, part of my issue with people saying, "Oh my ____ is gay..." is that I'm not that person. I am probably very different from them. Sexuality is probably the ONLY thing I have in common with the _____ (friend, ex, brother's uncle's wife's step-cousin). The ______ is probably a nice guy filled with rainbows and kittens and other gay sh*t. ;) And- I do always try to couch these f*ckhead posts with "I'm very touchy" statements. My personal history is one that I have never been in the closet, I've known I was gay since I was eleven. But I have also taken a lot of abuse, and spent a period on the street when I didn't feel safe at home because of my sexuality. My experience with other people reacting to my sexuality has generally not been very positive. So... yeah, I come across as pretty spiky, even when people are 'trying to be nice.' Ahm. I'm not up to step 6 yet, I am a work in progress. Maybe in a few months I'll come back full of rainbows and kittens... ... but please don't hold your breath ;) My spikes are part of who I am. |
Bamb. Come to Baltimore! Only a few miles from WV and very gay-friendly!!! KJ |
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:52 PM. |