Congratulations PJ and Roxy, on finding each other. ❤️

And you are doing it buddy, the one to break the cycle.
The Phoenix rising from the ashes.
Much respect.

Miss Roxy certainly is Foxy! So happy for you both, PJ! Had to catch up on posts but good to hear the bond with the kiddos is strengthening. You’ve done some hard work and enjoy the love.

Croutie! Such a delight to see you post.

Alas, I agree with you all DRAMA ain’t my calling.

love to all! Snooz and Leshar, hope you are ok!

We are adapting, dog and me both. I have been alone post burns-and eventual sobriety since Nov. 2015 and many years b4 burns when boozing. That, plus a truckload of mental health disagnosis- having a living thing is very out of comfort zone. What others, including psychologists etc, consider to be very difficult, dsyfunctional,trama based mental health status, has been my normal. Small steps.
Me and dog are on a steep learning curve.
I wAS offline all last night 'cos the large data, getting online-whatever is the correct jargon, had (another) Australia wide outage. The inner critical voice expressed extreme annoyance. Recovery voice kicks in to remind moi I am not homeless anymore, or being bombed in a war, or infirm in a wheelchair- so just accept, letgo of negative emotions and move on.
Attached Imageshttps://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...dogjulyone.jpg
PhoenixJ is online now Report Post

Hello dear Julyers,
Hello Croutie, it was lovely to see a post from you!
CW, I'm sorry I didn't respond to your earlier question about theatre stuff. I was/am embarrassed to be struggling again. Today is day 23.
It really is hard to come back, in all sorts of ways, but I don't want to hurt myself any further. I have pretty bad generalized anxiety and fatigue at present, but I'm hopeful these issues may improve with time. As far as theatre stuff, I'm not doing anything related to this at the moment. There's a play I would like to audition for in October, the production is next February. I feel I have lost a ton of confidence in so many ways, perhaps it's getting older, or the enforced isolation of Covid. I'm a nervous nelly driving now, where I used to be a confident driver. I never did have a lot of confidence around people, but I came out of myself when performing. I don't know if I still have this.
I've been walking a lot, brisk walks, but have developed metatarsalgia in my left foot. It's pretty painful. I bought new walking shoes and will use the treadmill at the gym as pounding the pavement probably didn't help matters.
Love to all.

23 days is great Leshar :)

D

a good start, Leshar

Good to see you Leshar. 23 days is great. :). Hope the metatarsalgia goes love. Sounds painful. :hug: I used to pound the pavement and it damaged my knee. It does give our joints some hammer. :dunno:

Have a good weekend classmates. Hope you’re keeping ok. Love to all. xxxx

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Oh Leshar, please don’t ever feel judged posting that you’re struggling, although I understand the hesitancy.

I’m so glad at least 23 days is 23 days of a clearer mind. I also understand how the confidence might be up and down, or waning - for all sorts of reasons. Thank you for the update re theatre, please don’t be too hard on yourself.xx

Same for you, PJ. I love the idea of a pupper or a kitty, but yes 24/7 would be a new thing. I don’t honestly know how I had kids, it’s such a distant memory now! Keep truckin’

Love to all. I’m up late, eating too many sweets, so no perfection here, that’s for sure! xx

Thanks all, thanks CW. The anxiety is difficult to manage, but I'm doing the right things, and I hope it may yet improve. I just seem to be on edge all the time, it's tiresome. I broke down in a flood of tears at a friend's yesterday as I was all het up about new neighbours moving in next door and what they might be like, will they be noisy etc. I value my little house and the quiet. I can't cope with noise, the busyness and socializing of neighbours. I worry about my age and possible coming ill health; I lament not taking care of myself. I just worry! My friend was supportive and got me laughing and that helped. Each of us has our struggles. Why make it worse with the ill effects of alcohol?
Love to all.

2.5h on 3 walks with dog today. After a chance dog/vet show gave me a thought (!) and after a little google research...I purchased a muzzle lead accessory for dog. A halter that snugly fits around her muzzle, but she can still pant. It clicks together at the rear of her head, at the top of her neck. The leash snaps on a ringlet on the bottom of her muzzle. A marked improvement in behaviour. No lunging at other dogs, walks more closely to my side...
BUT the vet guy on TV was gently rebuking owners of a great dane that goes mental on walks. In Britain, such dog behaviour- if it causes distress to any people, can be put down. The vet told them that would be their fault, not the dogs. HeVincent thought about and painted his art, including technique. He failed miserably as an a got them on the right track. I kina worked out with my anxiety ridden blue heeler gentle, soft voice commands, praise good behaviour, just stand still on walks and wait for her to calm down, or ignore if unwarranted attention seeking behaviour- she kinda yowls- as a yodel. She's cool. Gonna build her and I up to 3h walking time daily. Following guidelines on keeping her fit and stimulated.
When she goes outside for misafternoon siesta, I sit outside and started studying. Reading letters written by Vincent V/G to his bro, Theo, who supported Vincent emotionally and financially and died of grief, overwork and stress 6months after Vincent died (shot himself in stomach, took a long time to die in Theo's arms). The letters, hundreds of them, give a real time idea of how he thought about his art, what he observed in his studies, relationships with colors and technique.
Vincent was a crap art student had to take this yearw to draw' book by a credible arist. After some serious google research, I found and downloaded a copy of the same 'how to' book. I then went to an officeworks, that printed and bound the letters and the how to book for a fraction of the cost on a nice book, No copyright issues.
I did, however treat myself to a very lovely book of Leonardo Da Vinvi's drawing. It comes with Leo's notes- that's adanced drawing study. I took study leave from art school this year 'cos of depression/anxiety. So study at home good- thanks to dog.
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Keep posting Leshar.

Dog is quite honestly , a living metaphor for my recovery. I have begun to see the world with gentler eyes. As I treat dog with kindness and mindful patience, some of it applies to self care. The mindful stuff. Also- lots of water, healthy meals, exercise, patience, adapting to new things, rest, moderation, etc. I had to take study leave from Uni art course to deal with depression/anxiety. I started studying at home...a first this year. Also= hard, productive work.

Stick at it PJ. Roxy is in new territory too, you’re all she has to guide her right now. I have former dog breeders on both sides of my family. They totally rate (mostly) Cesar Millans work with training dogs. You are the pack leader always.

Leshar, give your neighbours time. They might even have a noisy gathering or two, but have hearts of gold. I’m sure my son’s neighbours judged him when he moved in…he’s young, (looks very young), has racing cars in his workshop and lots of friends (truth is he got those friends from helping a lot of them lots of times)…but, he takes care of his neighbours houses when they are away, and recently helped his incapacitated neighbour during a health emergency. I guess I’m saying, don’t judge a book, or what you see by it’s cover, your part in the neighbourly relationship is important too. Gentle care now might mean attentive, caring neighbours when you need them. :)

Thanks PJ, and CW.
The new neighbours had a noisy party yesterday.
I'm feeling so trapped and adrift. Crying a lot today. I know I must take each day as it comes. Thanks for your kind words, CW. I hope you are doing well.
PJ, Roxy is so lucky to have you.

I’m going to flip this another way, Leshar, because I struggle with noise sensitivity too.

Neighbours are enjoying life. You should too. I’m practising flipping things upside down. I’m probably going to be annoying by suggesting the above, but I have terrible noise issues where I am and I try to turn the question back on myself. It’s a party, it’s one night, I don’t have to work tomorrow, they are young and having fun, they might be celebrating for reasons I’ll never know. The world doesn’t have to always be our way. It’s bloody annoying, but it’s my current challenge too.

All my stuff sees me the boss of dog. No shouting or agro actions, soft, gentle voice, praise good behaviour, ignore bad (depending), rinse/repeat. She learns swiftly.
3.5h , 15km, 3 walks...Roxy is knackered. The muzzle harness prevented her attacking 3 silent organisms, which were all silent but dog got supernose. A pigeon in long grass, a rat dog hiding and a cat. Credit to her- well behaved otherwise .See GP first thing tomorrow about status quo- re depression/meds, so an early start. I also got 2h study in.
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Leshar sorry you’re struggling with things love. Life can be hard and difficulty finding our way sometimes. I dislike it when my neighbor has loud music on so all his neighbour’s have to listen to it too. :hug: sending hugs land love xx :hug:

PJ, having Roxy in your life is marvellous for you both. I’m so happy for you both. :Valdog:

Love to all my classmates. xxxx

Thanks, CW, I really appreciate your perspective. I read a post on another thread that opined that alcoholics often default to being restless, irritable and discontent, and that there is a feeling that someone, or something is not treating us right. I know that I am too often this way. Any change is perceived as a threat to my already fragile status quo. I want to blame, and not take responsibility for my own negative thoughts and actions. Time will tell with regard to the neighbours. I'm sorry that you have to deal with noise issues. Your attitude is admirable.
Sending you good wishes, and love to all the Julyers.

Thanks, Mags. I hope your hand is coming along.

Thanks Leshar. It’s getting there. :)

Have a good week Classmates. Hope everyone is ok. :Valdog: