yes, everytime I relapse I come to the same conclusion, it is so simple- I cannot drink. Is beginning to sink in as reality. Perhaps once the option is completely off the table, I can entirely focus on my recovery.

Thanks again, guys. I used the last of what I had last night so my bender's over. Last time I did MDMA I had horrible withdrawal symptoms, so I'm preparing for that. The withdrawal period lasts about a week and I'm dreading it. Twitching, depression, fatigue, lightheadedness, dizziness, etc. I'm hopeful that I can get back on the horse and keep going, especially because that was the last of my stash. I just wish I took out the garbage when I was still motivated to, because I basically set myself up for failure.

Great job BTG!

Jo43, exercise is a great anxiety queller, and fat burner. I find it provides a sense of accomplishing something healthy in addition to practicing active mindful self compassion rather than passive self mindful self compassion which is accomplished from abstain from our vices.

my son ignores that I’m alive. No Mother’s Day wishes, no texts, to emails, no returning calls. It’s his loss.

Because I don’t know what my crime was I wrote him a letter and December saying if I did not hear from him at all by the end of 2020 then I was going to let him go completely. I asked him to please let me know when he is ready to talk what offense he feels I committed to him and we can talk about it. But he will not heal unless he addresses it and we cannot have a relationship unless he reciprocates in some manner. So I have let that go, and it feels to my mindfully self compassionate to not engage in a Relationship that just makes me feel bad about myself. I don’t need that right now in my recovery.

Happy, I’ve responded to you on a different thread 😊

Venus, that’s AWESOME!


what have you been doing to accomplish your goals?

Trying to reach a sodium level in the normal range so I can leave the hospital. The doctors and staff are wonderful here but miss being home. I went from a level of 117 to 128 so I am getting there. One of the doctor’s assistants said they’d probably let me go home tomorrow if I reach 130, so ;)

Miss you all! xxo

Hope you get home soon KC :)

D

So I went to a neighborhood bbq tonight. It was probably 150 people with a live band. An amazing feeling to hug your neighbors and listen to music again, kids running around, yard games going on, food cooking and of course, beer, wine, and cocktails. So, this was a hard choice and not one I took lightly, but it was also an event i couldn't really not attend. I did not drink and the world didn't end, i don't think anyone even noticed. It was a risk. I also stalled in getting there and left early, using the puppy as an excuse. I am glad to be home, for sure. But it was nice to see people. Going to bed sober, day 2.

Hi everyone :wavey:
Sending you all hugs of support, especially if you’re struggling :grouphug:

Great to see you here TC! :)

Free I’m so sorry to hear about your kitty :hug:

Happy I think we have all messed up repeatedly, but the important thing is that we don’t stop trying to stop. And we keep coming back here for support.

I messed up big time last weekend. For the millionth time. But I’m so over it all. My partner took a carton of beer away with us this weekend. I drank tea all weekend. And got plenty of fresh air and exercise, and I’m feeling so much more positive than I was a week ago :)
Winding up day 7 sober and I feel like this is it this time. I am actually ok with the word forever. One day at a time, but forever isn’t scary anymore. I really am done. I know the struggle with the AV won’t miraculously go away, and I have to continue to work on recovery, but I have no intention of ever drinking again, not even possibly some day in the far distant future. Just not ever. Now I need to stay on track this time and make it happen.

Good for you BtG and Willow and everyone else who notched up another sober day :)

new thread time - Part Two is here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-two.html

D